Welcome Michael, as you can see from so many different replies, what works for one does not work for another.
When I'm not sure what to do, I remind myself there are no right or wrong decisions, just different ones. When I really can't decide, I ask myself what I'd regret most. In this case, never bringing mum home and therefore never knowing the outcome, or bringing her home and it being a disaster.
On boxing day we decided to bring my husband home to spend some time as a family. He had been in care for 3 months and we were still missing him very much and of course it was our first Christmas without him.
There was both good and bad aspects to the visit. He had no recognition of his home of the last 20 plus yrs, (we were surprised). It is a big house but compared to the space in CH seemed tiny, he kept bumping into things and fell over a couple of times. He knocked things over and tried grabbing hot pans on the hob. Sounds a nightmare but despite all this we had a good laugh together and he enjoyed the food!!! The family liked to see him in his home environment, however, I was heartbroken (well hidden) which is something I did not anticipate. I think seeing him at home, which was always his 'castle' so disorientated, brought home/reinforced his illness all over again.
I was then worried about his reaction to going back. After a huge struggle to get him in the car and a nightmare journey back, my daughter informed us, he walked into the home looked around, punched the air and shouted YES!!! Which of course was a hugh relief for us all.
Do hope all this is info is of some help and not left you even more confused. As one member on here says 'If you've seen one person with dementia, you've seen one person with dementia. How true that is, just on this one thread, so many differences.
Good luck in your choices, keep in touch.
best wishes Bastan xx