1. nikita

    nikita Registered User

    Jul 31, 2004
    92
    Visitors are now allowed into grans home after almost two weeks, when i visited yesterday she was really pleased to see me and even used my name, she looks fine and was very alert and in fine form, she kept asking my daughter if she had a boyfriend yet (much to her annoyance) She is now getting very upset when we say goodbye wanting us to stay which is hard as we now she spends most of her day just sitting doing nothing.
     
  2. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Hi Nikita, glad your Nan is OK, it has been a long time for you all. It is hard leaving them, perhaps you could make an excuse like popping to the loo instead of a heavy goodbye? Love She. XX
     
  3. Kriss

    Kriss Registered User

    May 20, 2004
    513
    Shropshire
    Hi Nikita

    we usually time our visits to Aunty so that we leave as she sits down to dinner. We help her through to the dining room and without any big goodbyes sit her down, give a kiss and a hug and say something like "look after yourself, see you ..." and leave quickly. A bit like leaving a child at Nursery - all matter of fact, no time to dwell.

    It's still not painless for us but as my Aunt is someone who remains highly motivated by food it works for her. I'm sure you'll find the right way for you and your Gran. And remember, children left at nursery are almost guaranteed to have a good time once the parents are out of the door so if you could be a fly on the wall of Grans home you might just see her "enjoying" all manner of things in your absence?

    Kriss
     
  4. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Nikita, I suddenly remembered when Kris's post jogged me. Back in the early 90's, Mum had cancer, she was caring for my Nan at the time. We had to put Nan into emergency respite for a few weeks while I ferried Mum to and fro for radiotherapy etc. When ever we went to see her, which between us all was every single day, (I was also going in to bath her because she wouldn't let the staff do it) she would tell us she talked to no-one and was so miserable etc. One night, we were returning to the car park, we had left Nan in the lounge, it was lit up being winter. We could see Nan through the window, she was standing up having a conversation with several other residents, some sitting. She was waving her hands, laughing etc. This, more than any reassurance from the staff, showed us the other side, she was joining in and other people were talking to her. It gave my Mum a real boost. I suspect it is like that for many people in your Nan's situation. I think they maybe feel they should say they don't like it, sometimes, perhaps out of misplaced loyalty or something. Take heart, day by day, love She. XX :)
     

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