Hello Looviloo. Reading your post and the subsequent ones brought it all back like a tidal wave. I wanted to say that these 'icons' of the parents way of life like houses and cars can have such a hold over us. I used my Dad's old car to help look after my Mum with alz. I really needed it at the time and it cost a pretty penny in repairs. Six months after Mum's passing and 2.5 after Dad's I have a last sold the old car to a relative. I had such an emotional battle about it - a last link with him etc. and he was very fond of it. We also sold our other older car and yes, I used Dad's legacy to buy us a brand-new car. I chose a make and colour that he would be proud of. Gradually the guilt monster is fading.
Try not to let the parent's stuff drag you down - it is just that, stuff. They all need to hear soothing messages, as it seems its all the dementia brain can cope with. Practise the lies if you need to, I know I did. Also, there is not too much to talk about is there? so the old way of life is bound to come up. Part of the problem is that that generation had not really planned on living so long, hence reluctance to talk about the future when they were well.
Try not to let the parent's stuff drag you down - it is just that, stuff. They all need to hear soothing messages, as it seems its all the dementia brain can cope with. Practise the lies if you need to, I know I did. Also, there is not too much to talk about is there? so the old way of life is bound to come up. Part of the problem is that that generation had not really planned on living so long, hence reluctance to talk about the future when they were well.
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