My aunt visiting from the outer hebrides over the last two days asked me when mum was likely to be more awake (never) and what activities does she have (none) Auntie's husband recently died from dementia but his was so very different from mum's. I am wondering probably irrationally whether we could have made things different for mum, though at the same time knowing that I couldn't because dad would have said no to everything I suggested. My aunt and cousin were so shocked by mums condition it makes me wonder how on earth we can carry on. I want to go home and never come back here. I don't want to see mum again. I sound ungrateful, you may say at least she is still alive and we still have her but we don't and I can't bear any more of this.