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Violent father discharged into unpleasant nursing home.

TheWong

New member
Jun 28, 2022
8
0
Some background :-

About 7 weeks ago my fathers dementia took a turn for the worse and I placed him in a care home for 2 weeks respite care. It was clear he was unhappy there so while I looked for somewhere else I extended the respite for a further 2 weeks.

I had not realised he had been both physically and verbally threatening to staff and other residents which escalated to actual physical harm to both another resident and female care staff. Due to this I was asked to remove him, unfortunately I have no way to look after him and he was eventually taken into hospital where the violent behaviour continued.

After being treated for a dvt he was discharged into the one care home in the county that would take him and after 3 weeks there he is to be assessed for chc allowance (nhs currently paying for home but can privately fund).

The problem:-

If you can imagine the one carehome that you wouldn't put a parent in, this is it. Dubious drug management, aggressive manager, non empathetic 1 to 1 staff and apparently no stimulation whatsoever for residents.

So my 2 questions are:-

What level of responsibility do the discharge section of the hospital have towards my father?

What is the best resource for finding nursing homes that deal with these situations as I am struggling?

Thank you
 

imthedaughter

Registered User
Apr 3, 2019
826
0
Hi there - I don't know for sure and I am sure someone with direct experience will know but but I would start looking for EMI homes which are secure homes - even if you have to go out of county. I would search the internet and use the care homes search site. Do you have contact with a social worker to help with this?

Did the DVT cause the aggression? I was thinking it sounded like an infection, is it likely to reduce or is he generally violent?

As to the old home, I have no idea why they didn't tell you about these incidents especially if they were asking you to remove him. My dad has had a violent outburst but it is not his general way and he's not antagonised by the staff. I was still warned by the care home by email - so it was in writing - that they are not an EMI home, should it continue.

Finally, settling in a home takes a very long time - if your dad is moved again it could well take months I'm afraid.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
18,833
0
South coast
Im sorry to hear about your dads problems, it can come as a shock when you suddenly realise what is actually going on. Im not sure why the first care home did not keep you informed.

I think that if this is the only place in the county that would accept him, then you are going to have pretty limited choice. That level of violence is going to be challenging to control and will require a pretty heavy-duty drug regime. Could you talk to the doctor in charge of your dads medication and ask about your concerns?

Where it comes to stimulation, dementia homes will usually offer things like craft, baking, musical quizzes, musical entertainment, adult colouring, word searches etc. Unfortunately, there comes a time when these sort of activities are beyond what a person with dementia can cope with and, in all honesty, I cant see your dad joining in with these sort of things. What sort of "stimulation" did you have in mind?
 

jaymor

Volunteer Moderator
Jul 14, 2006
15,122
0
South Staffordshire
@TheWong

Search on line for an EMI nursing home for challenging behaviour adding your area and you will find what is available. An EMI nursing home fir challenging behaviour will be well equipped to manage your Fathers behaviour.

Welcome to the forum.
 

TheWong

New member
Jun 28, 2022
8
0
Thank you all for your replies.

To be fair to the first carehome I think they were a little taken aback by his behaviour, I had had no clue this was going to transpire so they had no warning and I believe it was a 'caring' attitude that led them to believe that my dad would calm down.

I had never known him to be physically violent but although some of the events happened while there was an infection a lot weren't.

I will try to find out what drugs he is on, my wife is going to the home with me tomorrow and not being so emotionally connected and having to deal with acrimonious situations job wise she will probably be able to do a better job than me.

As for the stimulation bit currently he along with 5 others are sat in a living room all day with the telly on so anything would be an improvement.

I will have a look for an EMI nursing home, I had not heard that term before so thanks.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
3,182
0
North West
@TheWong

Search on line for an EMI nursing home for challenging behaviour adding your area and you will find what is available. An EMI nursing home fir challenging behaviour will be well equipped to manage your Fathers behaviour.

Welcome to the forum.
HI @TheWong I agree with Jaymor you need to find a decent EMI unit that can manage challenging behaviour, short of that is a psychiatric unit placement. Its is awful knowing that this is not how they used to be, but sadly this is what the disease does and no one is to blame for it. Many years ago I worked with psychogeriatrics and placing them is always difficult. If you can't find a decent EMI that is willing to take your father then you have to ask the question of the social workers to involve local psyche units. These behavouirs are distressing for everyone including the person who is experiencing them and sometimes the best specialist care is by psychiatric services in the first instances. I would certainly put my feelers out for what happens if no EMI is willing to accomodate because clearly there are some very distressing issues for the person concerned and at the end of the day they need the most intensive treatment and care.
 

TheWong

New member
Jun 28, 2022
8
0
Cheers Palerider, I've got the day off tomorrow so I'll be putting in some time on the phones.