I have a camera setup in my parents home, dad has vascular dementia, mum is undiagnosed, dad sleeps down stairs as not mobile, mum upstairs. Care package 4 x a day x 7 days a week. My mum won't sleep at night, come down and disturbs my sad. Last night she verbally abused him then started punching and kicking him ,telling him to get out of her house! I'm worried for my dad I don't know what t do next, I don't live nearby to them, any help appreciated thanks
Violent behaviour from mum onto dad
- Thread starter Jes14
- Start date
Hi, i will do that thank you, just waiting for a callback from gp about an urgent home visit , thanks for your help
Best of luck, Jes. Sounds like you got some good advice. Please update us. ?Hi, i will do that thank you, just waiting for a callback from gp about an urgent home visit , thanks for your help
Thanks Cat27, I've had ucr going in over night, but they've said they feel threatened by my mum (under 5ft tall) and I'm trying to see if an alternative ucr worker can go in tonight and night sit. I've arranged a private package for a sitter from Tues so just need ucr to cover 3 nights now, fingers crossed they will go back tonight.
I really feel for you - we had a similar situation and , I am ashamed to say , let it go on far too long.
MIL was the one attacking FIL , and me - sometimes with a knife but she was 'sweetness and light' when any visiting professionals were at the house. You have evidence on the camera, I would suggest that you ask the UCR worker to put in writing that they felt threatened as well.
It took us a long time to realise that trying to keep them together was the worse thing for both of them and we needed to look at them as individuals , each with their own needs.
FIL went into care and had the time of his life for the 18 months he was there before he died.
MIL was not happy at home on her own, she should have been in care but had 'fluctuating capacity' - the biggest cop out ever for social services!!! - eventually she was sectioned and has now been in a different care home for 2 years and is more settled, and better fed, medicated, dressed and clean, than she was at home.
Hope you manage to get sorted out.
MIL was the one attacking FIL , and me - sometimes with a knife but she was 'sweetness and light' when any visiting professionals were at the house. You have evidence on the camera, I would suggest that you ask the UCR worker to put in writing that they felt threatened as well.
It took us a long time to realise that trying to keep them together was the worse thing for both of them and we needed to look at them as individuals , each with their own needs.
FIL went into care and had the time of his life for the 18 months he was there before he died.
MIL was not happy at home on her own, she should have been in care but had 'fluctuating capacity' - the biggest cop out ever for social services!!! - eventually she was sectioned and has now been in a different care home for 2 years and is more settled, and better fed, medicated, dressed and clean, than she was at home.
Hope you manage to get sorted out.
HI, I'm now on my final attempt of live in carers before I loose the battle and it's a care home for both. The hitting and abuse continues, safe guarding on my case, fingers crossed the new care agency tmrw are fully experienced with dementia and can be friends with my mum so this will work fir a few months. Can anyone re ommend anything natural my mum could take to calm the anger and help her relax and enjoy the last part of her life? Many thanks
