Hi All
I posted a few days ago about Mom (82 with recent diagnosed Vad) she was on recent anti-psychotic medicine but had attacked Dad with knife and I wondered what to do. You were all so helpful and taking your advice I called back in the psychiatrist who upped the medicine and said ANY repeat of this behaviour he must be told and Mom taken into hospital .
Moving on to today,urgent call from Dad at 9am to get there as soon as possible. Did that and have had the worst morning of my life. Mom convinced (again) Dad is not Dad from the night before at 11.30pm and told him to leave house. Dad thinking she would have either clamed down by this morning or forgotten episode said he will go in the morning (today) amazingly she has remembered and held him to it.
Mom is hysterical and violent. I personally saw her over the morning grind her fist into his face, punch him in it and knock off his glasses and 4 separate times go for him with her walking stick. She alternated this with running outside in the street shouting "help" and asking the decorators they have in to help her and attempting to dial 999.
My problem is this; he WOULD NOT let me get the doctor back in. He said Mom will be taken in (which is correct) and she will never come back out. He said he will endure what she has to dish out and "only get him back in when she knifes me again" I can hardly believe what I am hearing,its so ridiculous but feel so,so sad that my Dad is that loyal to her to stand it.
He did try to stop her going out into street at one point and they had a scuffle over the door,him trying to keep it closed. I am amazed to report her strength was equal if not above his. She is under 5ft and 6 stone,he ,average size and weight male. Only way to pacify her was to take Dad out and pretend he was leaving which was more for his own safety. Unsuprisingly the workmen suddenly had an urgent call! Whether it was wise to leave her alone I dont know but on our return she was so pleased the "real" Dad was back and proceeded to tell him all about the other B*****D that was in the house all morning.
I have waffled on a bit here but I do have a question and that is ;should I have ignored Dad's wishes and called Doctor? I had the number on me. I cant bear to think my actions alone IE the call, will result in my Mom being sectioned. Dad has begged me not to. I rang my Brothers, one said "ring yes, defenietly" the other one I got in touch with said " if Dad said he can cope,leave him too it, and take a step back" that one incidently sees them about 4 times a year. So conflicting advice there too.
Has anyone been in this position? It is all new to me as Mom only diagnosed 2 weeks ago but is detoriating at a rate of knotts. I know by reading some posts that some peoples relatives have been diagnosed for years but Mom seems to have gone from 0-60 in 2 weeks. Her inital MMSE test at diagnosis was 14,does that have any bearing I wonder? I forgot to add during all this I suspect Mom had a TIA. I have never witnessed one but it was like a hypnotist said "sleep" to her and she fell back on sofa with eyes closed for around 30 seconds. Dad said after it happens alot. Again he would not let me call regular GP as he afraid they would send her in ( to the psychriatric ward)
My stress is through the roof, I honestly dont know where I am drawing my reserves of mental energy and coping strategies from. I had a horrible thought today, if she had dies 2 years ago after her major stroke I am sure she would have been better off. Phyisically she made a remarkable recovery, its very evident now that there are come-backs. Forgive me for going on,I know its similar to my other post but I was hoping for some improvement. I feel so sad for Mom but equally my heart breaks for Dad. I can not now question his loyalty after what I witnessed today.
To sum up I am between a rock and a hard place. Next time (maybe later or tomorrow!) do I listen to Dad or do I get Mom taken in hospital and looked at. Will she ever come back out..............
Thanks for "listening" it actually has helped to write this down.
K xxx
I posted a few days ago about Mom (82 with recent diagnosed Vad) she was on recent anti-psychotic medicine but had attacked Dad with knife and I wondered what to do. You were all so helpful and taking your advice I called back in the psychiatrist who upped the medicine and said ANY repeat of this behaviour he must be told and Mom taken into hospital .
Moving on to today,urgent call from Dad at 9am to get there as soon as possible. Did that and have had the worst morning of my life. Mom convinced (again) Dad is not Dad from the night before at 11.30pm and told him to leave house. Dad thinking she would have either clamed down by this morning or forgotten episode said he will go in the morning (today) amazingly she has remembered and held him to it.
Mom is hysterical and violent. I personally saw her over the morning grind her fist into his face, punch him in it and knock off his glasses and 4 separate times go for him with her walking stick. She alternated this with running outside in the street shouting "help" and asking the decorators they have in to help her and attempting to dial 999.
My problem is this; he WOULD NOT let me get the doctor back in. He said Mom will be taken in (which is correct) and she will never come back out. He said he will endure what she has to dish out and "only get him back in when she knifes me again" I can hardly believe what I am hearing,its so ridiculous but feel so,so sad that my Dad is that loyal to her to stand it.
He did try to stop her going out into street at one point and they had a scuffle over the door,him trying to keep it closed. I am amazed to report her strength was equal if not above his. She is under 5ft and 6 stone,he ,average size and weight male. Only way to pacify her was to take Dad out and pretend he was leaving which was more for his own safety. Unsuprisingly the workmen suddenly had an urgent call! Whether it was wise to leave her alone I dont know but on our return she was so pleased the "real" Dad was back and proceeded to tell him all about the other B*****D that was in the house all morning.
I have waffled on a bit here but I do have a question and that is ;should I have ignored Dad's wishes and called Doctor? I had the number on me. I cant bear to think my actions alone IE the call, will result in my Mom being sectioned. Dad has begged me not to. I rang my Brothers, one said "ring yes, defenietly" the other one I got in touch with said " if Dad said he can cope,leave him too it, and take a step back" that one incidently sees them about 4 times a year. So conflicting advice there too.
Has anyone been in this position? It is all new to me as Mom only diagnosed 2 weeks ago but is detoriating at a rate of knotts. I know by reading some posts that some peoples relatives have been diagnosed for years but Mom seems to have gone from 0-60 in 2 weeks. Her inital MMSE test at diagnosis was 14,does that have any bearing I wonder? I forgot to add during all this I suspect Mom had a TIA. I have never witnessed one but it was like a hypnotist said "sleep" to her and she fell back on sofa with eyes closed for around 30 seconds. Dad said after it happens alot. Again he would not let me call regular GP as he afraid they would send her in ( to the psychriatric ward)
My stress is through the roof, I honestly dont know where I am drawing my reserves of mental energy and coping strategies from. I had a horrible thought today, if she had dies 2 years ago after her major stroke I am sure she would have been better off. Phyisically she made a remarkable recovery, its very evident now that there are come-backs. Forgive me for going on,I know its similar to my other post but I was hoping for some improvement. I feel so sad for Mom but equally my heart breaks for Dad. I can not now question his loyalty after what I witnessed today.
To sum up I am between a rock and a hard place. Next time (maybe later or tomorrow!) do I listen to Dad or do I get Mom taken in hospital and looked at. Will she ever come back out..............
Thanks for "listening" it actually has helped to write this down.
K xxx