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violence

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,730
Hi Pat
Welcome to talking point. I am sure there will be lots of people along soon who have experienced all sorts of difficulties with their loved ones who have dementia. There is such a wide range of behaviour and so many different kinds of dementia.

I'm sorry you are having a difficult time at the moment but there is lots and lots of support on here and everyone is happy to help.

If you were to tell a little more of your story people might be able to give you some helpful tips xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

pat62

Registered User
Nov 29, 2015
4
Hi Pat
Welcome to talking point. I am sure there will be lots of people along soon who have experienced all sorts of difficulties with their loved ones who have dementia. There is such a wide range of behaviour and so many different kinds of dementia.

I'm sorry you are having a difficult time at the moment but there is lots and lots of support on here and everyone is happy to help.

If you were to tell a little more of your story people might be able to give you some helpful tips xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sorry not quite ready for that yet as I don't seem to be able to stop crying to see what I'm typing
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,730
awwwwwwwwwwwwwww Pat I'm so sorry xxxx sending you a big virtual hug (((((()))))))))

This is such a hard journey but there are lots of people on here to support you..........people have very different journeys through this horrible disease but everyone here understands when things are really difficult. People will have advice and hugs and friendships to help you along the way xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,730
Pat - this is just a thought but if this is an unusual outburst is it possible that the person with dementia has an infection ? Sometimes a urinary infection can cause very strange and unusual behaviour - a great deal of confusion, not knowing where they are or who they are with - if it is quite a sudden turn and not typical it could be an infection.
 

pat62

Registered User
Nov 29, 2015
4
Pat - this is just a thought but if this is an unusual outburst is it possible that the person with dementia has an infection ? Sometimes a urinary infection can cause very strange and unusual behaviour - a great deal of confusion, not knowing where they are or who they are with - if it is quite a sudden turn and not typical it could be an infection.
Thanks for that I'll look into it
 

stanleypj

Registered User
Dec 8, 2011
10,708
North West
Some people who have dementia can become violent Pat. It is quite often a phase that eventually passes and they 'settle down' a bit. But it can be absolutely devastating for carers. Are you getting any help?
 

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,427
66
Toronto, Canada
My mother did become violent and had several periods of aggression and violence. This was solely due to the disease. We had to resort to medication to control this.
 

Redpoppy

Registered User
Jul 31, 2012
268
Glamorgan s.wales
I would advise you see your GP as soon as possible Pat. If he has a UTI then he will need antibiotics,also if this is a phase of the dementia perhaps the Dr. will prescribe medication to calm him down. For your own safety this change needs to be reported to the Doctor .I really hope you get the support you need soon.
 

angiebails

Registered User
Oct 8, 2009
227
crewe
My OH was extremely violent, it is normally set off by a trigger and his was hallucinations which he seemed to have in the night and then built up in his head so all the violence was centered on me. I had a bag packed ready to escape at any time and learnt to keep myself safe by making sure I was never close enough when he erupted for him to get hold of me. He regurely threw me against the wall and I spent months crying. The dementia clinic need to know all the details as without them they cannot help you. It is nothing to be ashamed of and I did leave it too long to get help. My husband is now on medication and has only had about 3 outbursts in the last 6 months and I am now feeling so much better. Do you have a dementia nurse that you can talk to as mine was so helpful and has probably saved my life. About 18 months ago things were that bad he told the psychiatrist he wanted to kill me and that yes he had hit me but not hard. He is about 6 foot and 17 stone, so what is not hard.
Speak to the doctor, dementia clinic and anyone you can as you need help and you do not need to suffer, I realise that now.


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
 

pat62

Registered User
Nov 29, 2015
4
Some people who have dementia can become violent Pat. It is quite often a phase that eventually passes and they 'settle down' a bit. But it can be absolutely devastating for carers. Are you getting any help?
No, no help what so ever
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
Norfolk
Pat, this was one of the earliest symptoms my husband displayed. At the time, I could do no more than hide in the bathroom and secretly call the police for advice. Nothing ever came of it as the whole experience was just too new for me. But hubby was always a suspicious person, even before the dementia took over. It was a harrowing time for a while, but eventually passed.

You may feel you need to call several people: your GP; social worker and the police, at least to get advice as to how to progress and deal with incidents. I truly hope someone will step into the breach for you.
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,960
Brixham Devon
Hi Pat

I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this-it's so hurtful-not just physically but emotionally too.

My late Husband changed from a laid back lovely person to an aggressive and agitated man who had absolutely no idea of his strength. If it doesn't turn out to be an infection and the violence continues I strongly suggest that you go to a room with a lock on it and phone the Police. They will not hurt your Husband in any way.

You really shouldn't be coping on your own; if the Police get involved they will more than likely start the ball rolling for you to get some help. Your Husband may need to be sectioned so that his behaviour can be assessed in a Mental Health Unit. This happened to my Husband 5 times and he was treated very well-above all his meds were 'tweaked' to enable him to either return home to me or his CH.

Initially perhaps phone your Husband's GP or Adult Social Services.?

You must consider yourself when this violence is happening

Love

Lyn T XX