1. candymostdandy@

    candymostdandy@ Registered User

    May 12, 2006
    81
    west sussex
    Wed 8th last time any food or drink
    Thrs 9th taken to hospital for tests to see if mums screams to eliminate any physical reasons for her screams. Tests and ex-rays all clear. Mum returns home.
    Friday 10th start morphene patches
    Monday 13th GP asks if everyone that needs to say goodbye has been advised
    Tues 14th mum's brother, her son and daughter in law come from Italy to say last goodbyes
    Tues 14th priest says Last Rites
    Wed 15th syringe driver with evermore meds to keep mum coomfortable

    It is now sunday morning, yet another sleepless night. Mum is peaceful but I can't sleep what if she's passed away.

    I checked on her at 1.00 am went to bed awake again at 3 am dreading going to her room, thinking that she must have passed away by now. I put all the lights on I stand at the door and whatch. It takes a few seconds for me to be sure her breathing is slow and shallow.

    Mum turned 90 on 8th January with a strong physical body which has been lying in bed for 3 1/3 years due to the dementia.

    Mum has defied all logic throughout this long journey and so she is doing it again at the end....
     
  2. hazytron

    hazytron Registered User

    Apr 4, 2008
    1,167
    SOUTH LAKES
    Like yourself, I am awake and wondering if my Mum will fade away this day.

    Mum is in hospital and I know I will be informed of any critical change.

    It is important to keep up our strength and with that I am going to try and catch some sleep.

    I hope you can too.

    Hazel
     
  3. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,198
    Female
    Dundee
    Having gone through this with my own mum 6 months ago I know how you must be feeling. Thinking of you both. x
     
  4. sussexsue

    sussexsue Registered User

    Jun 10, 2009
    1,528
    West Sussex
    I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through, but just wanted to send a virtual (((hug)))

    Sue xx
     
  5. PurpleJay

    PurpleJay Registered User

    Nov 2, 2011
    169
    Derbyshire
    Thinking of you x
     
  6. Coletta

    Coletta Registered User

    Jan 6, 2009
    400
    Souh East Essex
    Dear Candy and Hazel

    My thoughts are with you both, having gone through this only 4 weeks ago, the memory of it is still very vivid. Sending you love and a big hug.

    Coletta xx
     
  7. candymostdandy@

    candymostdandy@ Registered User

    May 12, 2006
    81
    west sussex
    14 days without food and drink

    the past 14 days have been torture. everytime I go into her room I'm going in to check to see if she has passed away.

    She is now just skin and bones, why are we all being put thru this torture...


    Mum moved in with my family onthe 1st January 2006, i've looked after her for 6 yeas and 24 days, why couldn't the end have been easier for all of us?

    What saddens me more is that instead of being sad at my mothers passing it will just be a big relief for all of us.
     
  8. piedwarbler

    piedwarbler Registered User

    Aug 3, 2010
    7,188
    South Ribble
    I'm so sorry Candy. The matron told me today sometimes people pass quickly, and sometimes it takes more time. You must feel tired. Thinking of you x hope you manage to rest, even if sleep won't come xx
     
  9. hazytron

    hazytron Registered User

    Apr 4, 2008
    1,167
    SOUTH LAKES
    Candy, my thoughts are with you, I can imagine, only too well, how difficult this time is for you.

    Hazel
     
  10. nicoise

    nicoise Registered User

    Jun 29, 2010
    1,807
    Dear Candy,

    Your poor Mum, and poor you.

    Isn't the human body incredible at times? To be so strong physically after so long - I suspect in part that is testament to your care.

    I wonder if you are keeping your emotions reined in during this long vigil in order to cope; yes there will be relief that this part is over, and you will be able to feel again.

    wishing you strength and some sleep tonight x
     
  11. rafferty

    rafferty Registered User

    Dec 27, 2011
    85
    cardiff
    Candy , I am sure the relief you will feel is that your mum is no longer suffering.Keep strong . Rafferty
     
  12. Doe

    Doe Registered User

    Mar 26, 2007
    55
    London
    Thinking about you Candy. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond, especially at this very difficult time, on my thread re Social Services. I had no idea this type of help was available so that information is extremely useful to me. Thanks once again and lots of love to you and your Mum. Doe
     
  13. GZN

    GZN Registered User

    Nov 2, 2011
    19
    My heart goes out to you at this terrible time. I hope the suffering ends soon for all of you. What fantastic service you have given to your mother.
     
  14. florence43

    florence43 Registered User

    Jul 1, 2009
    1,484
    London
    I know how hard it is, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Her time will come soon and she will be in peace, as will you and your family. There will be a feeling of numbness for a while as you get used to the change in pace.

    I'm thinking of you, and hoping your mum is comfortable and will sleep soon, xxx
     
  15. Jancis

    Jancis Registered User

    Jun 30, 2010
    2,567
    Hampshire
    The long goodbye

    I know how it is, day after night after day after night.... my dad lay in bed for what seemed like forever, slowly slowly slowly fading. It was not what he wanted and all we could do was be there. Dear Candy, I hope your mum will soon be at peace.
    xxx
     
  16. tre

    tre Registered User

    Sep 23, 2008
    1,353
    Herts
    Candy,
    My heart goes out to you and your dear mum. It is all so difficult at this time. My mum died 05 Feb 2011 and it amazed me how long she hung on with virtually nothing to eat or drink. I helped wash her just a couple of days before she died and she was so thin, just like your mum I imagine.
    Love to you both Tre
     
  17. piedwarbler

    piedwarbler Registered User

    Aug 3, 2010
    7,188
    South Ribble
    Just wanted to say you have been very much in my thoughts today xxxx
     
  18. leilam

    leilam Registered User

    Dec 31, 2011
    19
    you have been in my thoughts today stay strong hugs loads of them
     
  19. Tankette

    Tankette Registered User

    Jan 11, 2012
    23
    London
    My thoughts are with you x
     
  20. grove

    grove Registered User

    Aug 24, 2010
    7,724
    North Yorkshire
    Hello Candy , Am so sorry to read about your Mum & it must be so , so , hard for you . Wishing you & your Mum much Love , Peace & Comfort in the days to come

    Love & Hugs

    Love Grove x x
     

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