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Vexed about my Mum


Registered User
Mar 7, 2015
My family and I are currently in a difficult situation with my 81 year old Mum. Currently she is in a Psychiatric Unit following some very difficult times from September to November last year. It ended up with her phoning fire brigade because she was convinced there were fumes in home. She also thought things were breaking all around her and thinks she has no money.

I am not that sure things have changed since better since she went into hospital. They have got rid of smells that was initially the problem but she still believes she has no money. They are now talking about releasing Mum probably to residential care or sheltered housing. They do not think she can go home because none of us live nearby.

However what worries me is she has developed a belief that her clothes are not her clothes. When neighbour brought in her clothes - she says they are not hers and when my sister brought in her clothes she also said that there is a big black coat that isnt hers - my sister has been threw the clothes time and time again. She even today took her out of the hospital to buy new clothes and now she wants her to send them back.

I guess all this leads to the fact that my family and I are stumbling over all of this - we do not know if she has or has not dementia. She did have Sepsis last year when a septic stone got stuck in bile duct and she had it removed and I have heard dementia can follow from that but the hospital arnt saying too much and albeit we wrote a letter to the Consultant there has been no acknowledgement. Makes us feel bad and worried.

Please can anyone say if they shared worries like this.:(


Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
I'm sorry things are not good for your mum just now. It must be a real worry. I wondered if you could request a meeting about your mum. Perhaps phone the consultant's secretary and ask if the letter has been received.


Registered User
Aug 29, 2007
SW London
I would echo that, about phoning the consultant's secretary, and asking for a reply. Could you also phone her GP? He/she almost certainly will not discuss your mum because of privacy rules, but you could say how worried you are and maybe he/she could intercede with the consultant.

The business of not recognising her own clothes does sound like an aspect of dementia - other people on here have posted about similar things.

I do hope you get a helpful response from the consultant soon.


Registered User
Apr 5, 2010
No recognising clothes was a big thing with Mum; she thought all the clothes in her wardrobe were mine even though there was a slight size difference.

If you still don't get a reply from the consultant would it be worth asking PALS if they would help you.

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