very upset

[Skye]

Hi Alfjess

Didn't you get welfare POA when you got POA? If not, are your parents withit enough to grant it now? Guardianship is a lot more complicated (and expensive) than welfare POA.

 

[alfjess]

Hi Skye

No, I stupidly refused it, because I didn't know as much then as I do now.

The lawyer explained it by quoting worse case scenario, ie. if a decision had to be taken to turn off life support, then it would enable me to do so.

I'm afraid I was a bit of a coward in not wanting that resposibilty, but at the time I didn't realise the other implications.

Mum and Dad no longer have the capacity to understand anything much and it had to be proved to SS when I first brought them to live here, because in their opinion, I could have been keeping them here against their will and that could have been termed as abuse.

I have no choice other than applying for guardianship

Alfjess

 

[Skye]

Sorry, Alfjess. I understand why you didn't take it, your solicitor did a bad job of explaining.

Good luck with the guardianship.

Love,

 

[alfjess]

Hi Skye

I phoned SS and have hopefully set the wheels in motion, although I appear to know more about it than our social worker. Once more she has to consult her team leader, which she has to do about everything.

I just wish that before young social workers were let lose on the public, they had to serve an apprenticeship, or at least shadow someone for a substantial amount of time.

As to the lawyer, he wasn't very good, he was meant to register the POA straight away, but after a year he adimtted he had lost it and it had to be done again. At that time I was worried that Mum and Dad had become, so much worse and we couldn't get any POA

Thanks for your and everyone's support

Alfjess

 

[Skye]

, although I appear to know more about it than our social worker.

Why doesn't that surprise me?

Well done for getting things started.

Love,

 

[sony]

Hi

I'm sorry to butt in here - I've nothing useful to say to you in your situation I'm afraid, except that I think you've definately done the right thing regarding your brother....family, eh?!!

I would just like to enquire if your parents are in respite care in the same home? My granny has AZ and my grandad has VD, and there is alot of talk about putting them into a home not from our family but from SS, etc. However, I wasn't sure if it would be possible for them both to go to the same home together? It would be terrible to separate them after so long together. Although in saying that my Grandad would probably kick up a fuss about going to a home!!

He's got really bad recently, this morning he kept staring at my granny and eventually asked my Mum 'what age is that woman?' my Mum said '77', he said 'how do you make that out?', my mum said 'because you're 82 and there's 5 years difference between you's', he replied saying 'how could she be younger than me, sure I'm her son!!'!! I dunno....!!

Anyway, hope your parents are getting on ok....

Sony

P.S - Does anybody know what EMI stands for? The social worker today said that the nursing home my granny would have to go into would have to have EMI but we don't know what that is? I was thinking something along the lines of Emergency Medical Intervention.....probably wrong though!!

 

[jenniferpa]

EMI = Elderly Mentally Infirm

 

[alfjess]

Hi Sony

Yes Mum and Dad are in the same home, in a double room.

I was told the availability of a double room was slim, that was when they were in Glasgow but, since bringing them here to my area, it isn't a problem.

The only problem I can see about them being separated is if one of them became very much worse than the other and needed a dementia unit and the other didn't.

In the NH with attached dementia unit, I looked at yesterday, (in the same complex as the respite home) they only had single rooms, understandable, but I am hoping that we never get to that stage, but if we do, I hope both of them by that stage will not be aware. Maybe I am hoping for too much!

We can only do the best we can with the circimstances at the time, I have often tried to second guess what will happen in the future, but have found it a futile exercise.

Take everyday as it comes

Alfjess