1. Susan S

    Susan S Registered User

    Feb 16, 2008
    12
    newcastle upon Tyne
    #1 Susan S, Mar 2, 2008
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2008
    The consultant visited Mam on Friday and rang me after her visit.

    The consultant said my Mam's deterioration was so dramatic that she thought the carers had shown her to the wrong person.

    She is now in the advanced state of dementia and is looking very frail.

    She asked me and Barbara to consider drawing up an "end of life" agreement and after talking about it we agreed it would be a sensible thing to do.

    I visited her today and she seemed a little better, but she seemed unable to hold her head upright and when she stood up her head and shoulders were almost bent to 90 degrees to the rest of her body. She looks very tired and weak.
     
  2. DickG

    DickG Registered User

    Feb 26, 2006
    558
    Stow-on-the-Wold
    Susan

    So sorry to hear of your Mam's deterioration. I have noticed that in the final stages Mary shows signs of a certain weariness with life some days and on others she is quite lively.

    Dick
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,865
    Kent
    Dear Susan,
    This is a nightmare for you and Barbara. It is the worst news you caould have and I`m very sorry.
    Take care xx
     
  4. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Dear Susan, so sorry to read your news.

    It is heartbreaking to receive the "end of life" careplan news.

    I would only say, if you can manage to accept that this is inevitable, please go easy on yourselves and try just to have this final time with mum as comfortably and calmly as you can.

    Often, as I know, we have longer than we think, but whatever our length of time, try to spend it wisely in not agonising about what you cannot change.

    I wish you and Barbara time, peace and happiness with mum at this stage.
     
  5. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Dear Susan, so sorry that you have had this news. It's something they comes to us all, but that doesn't make it any less devastating.

    Connie's advice is good. This end stage can be long or short, and there will be good days as well as bad. Make the most of the good days, build a mental library of happy memories which will stay with you for ever.

    We are in the privileged position of making the end of life as peaceful and comfortable as possible for the ones we love.

    Take care of yourselves, and try not to get too tired.

    Love,
     
  6. fearful fiona

    fearful fiona Registered User

    Apr 19, 2007
    723
    London
    Dear Susan

    Terribly sorry to read this news. My heart goes out to you. At least as Hazel said we can make things as comfortable and peaceful as possible for those close to us.

    Thinking of you.
     
  7. SusanB

    SusanB Registered User

    Jan 15, 2008
    155
    Hove
    Hi Susan

    I hope that you and Barbara are OK - what a horrible time for you all. Your Mum's deterioration has been staggering in its speed and you have my total empathy and sympathy, of course.

    My own Mum is declining but very sloooooooowly to the extent that it's sometimes hard to track it.

    I think this Forum is splendid and I hope you will gain comfort from logging on here as often as possible in the next few weeks.

    (Another!) Susan
     
  8. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Dear Susan,

    Very bad news indeed, heartbreaking for you and Barbara.

    I am sorry that your faced with this heartache.

    Caring Thoughts,

    Love Taffy.
     

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