Hi everyone - this is my first time coming to terms with my father and his abuse. My father will be 81 this July. He has always been a very mean-spirited man and my mom has been verbally abused throughout their marriage. I am now 37 with my own family and am watching the abuse get worse and worse. My father is becoming more and more forgetful of conversations;yet he is still good with faces, names and places. He believes that it is "normal" to be cranky and depressed because of his age. He refuses to speak to a doctor of any issues he may have. I am at my wits end not knowing how to help the situation. He is very controlling of my mother (will not allow her to drive - she is only 69), when she fell and had terrible injuries, cracked ribs and collar bone, he failed to help her in anyway - left her to rest in her bed with blood on her face for 48 hours after she had been to a hospital.
My other concern is very great - he is becoming very paranoid and delusional. He wakes in the night and can't return to sleep. The next morning he insists that someone (either my husband, an old golf buddy, even my mother in law) are out to hurt him. He believes this so much that he will avoid these people for fear they will hurt him. He even thinks his country club, which he has been a member for 16 years is trying to kick him out. Of course, they can't do so - but he thinks the cart boys are going to beat him up when he goes to the driving range.
I don't know how to help someone who does not think they have a problem. I am making myself sick about it - while I try to be empathetic to his "disease", I still find it hard to keep my mouth shut and not argue with him that his stories are just delusions. I am afraid for his own safety and ofcourse my moms. My mom is to afraid to leave him and also feels guilty for even thinking about leaving him at his age and his condition.
Any suggestions? Plus anyone else have stories of being paranoid or delusions? I feel like I am the only one with this issue and none of my friends have parents old enough to relate. Please help - for me and my mom!
Thanks,
Sue
My other concern is very great - he is becoming very paranoid and delusional. He wakes in the night and can't return to sleep. The next morning he insists that someone (either my husband, an old golf buddy, even my mother in law) are out to hurt him. He believes this so much that he will avoid these people for fear they will hurt him. He even thinks his country club, which he has been a member for 16 years is trying to kick him out. Of course, they can't do so - but he thinks the cart boys are going to beat him up when he goes to the driving range.
I don't know how to help someone who does not think they have a problem. I am making myself sick about it - while I try to be empathetic to his "disease", I still find it hard to keep my mouth shut and not argue with him that his stories are just delusions. I am afraid for his own safety and ofcourse my moms. My mom is to afraid to leave him and also feels guilty for even thinking about leaving him at his age and his condition.
Any suggestions? Plus anyone else have stories of being paranoid or delusions? I feel like I am the only one with this issue and none of my friends have parents old enough to relate. Please help - for me and my mom!
Thanks,
Sue