Verbal and emotional abuse

[Margarita]

I still do not understand where all this nastiness has come from, and I probably never will.

I don't ether , even thought I put it down to that some where alone my mother life she felt very bitter , twisted and who best to take out all out on , but the one you love , even thought you do not feel it , some where in her she still love you , but is blinded about it , because the disease is clouding her mind even more .

Just read what you wrote .

she will only allow me back in the house if I arrange for the gas cooker to be turned back on!!

is that from a woman who can see the logic in why you had cooker turn of in first place , so she won't like you for doing it

stand firm and be prepared to take control , seem like you have in getting cooker turn of

is your mother on any medication for AZ , with medication my mother came to see what i was doing for her was her sake , took a year or so

 

[Lotti]

[QUOTE is your mother on any medication for AZ , with medication my mother came to see what i was doing for her was her sake QUOTE]

My mum is on medication but still insists she does not need it, she is an old woman now and should be left to live her life as she wants to, she is not a baby, she does not make me do anything so why should I make her take the medication.

Last night she threw them at me and threatened to throw the glass of water on me, she said 'don't you ever try making me take these again' I know it is the AD but it still hurts, why can't she just take them and have done with it, when she is good she is loving and funny. In the end I just walked away, she came down later dressed again and in a good mood. I left mum and dad then once I knew she had calmed down.

Regards
Lotti

 

[cris]

ChrisD. I followed your posting and have thought about it hard. So the view is mine. You can not reason with this disease. Logic does not apply. It is very hard for those on the receiving end.
I know your trip is 2 hours & you must pay a bit for that ferry crossing. Can you not see more people from the church group. The vicar must be approachable. Is the vicar aware of your mum's condition ? Even if you do not see your mum, the vicar/father will know that you are not an uncaring daughter, and it may alleviate some guilt that you feel. This disease creates "children" again. The difference is children learn and go forward. So, children say nasty things to those that care for them and love them. Did you not say some un-kind things when you were a child ? I know I did.
Ok so what would make you a bit more satisfied / happier ? Not going & worrying, feel guilt, not listening to verbal abuse (stick & stones) not seeing or trying to see mum OR going maybe seeing mum, at least a surreptitious look, peek, meet the vicar, how about the local Alz. group. Knowing that you tried ?
Very hard choice for you to make. Just know that what-ever choice you make standby your reasons in the future.
Just my thoughts, I hope they help.
cris

 

[DeborahBlythe]

I have never been able to understand how anyone can believe they have the right to be verbally aggressive or abusive to anyone else.

The person who does has put him/herself on a pedestal, at whose direction?

No one does have the right, Sylvia. But as humans, I think we are all capable of stupidity, clumsiness, unkindness and emotional illiteracy at times. Thankfully, however, we are all, (in our right minds), capable of so much more that is positive; of changing and becoming better people, I think. I don't even discount the possibility that ChrisD's mother will alter her behaviour at some time. I hope that doesn't sound too naive.