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Vascular dementia

Jeanlily

New member
May 24, 2020
4
My husband was diagnosed abut3 hrs ago although the signs were there about 5 hrs ago. He doesn't believe he lives here in our bungalow, and regularly start s to pack up random belongings. He gets stressed when I try to stop him. Also he doesn't believe I am his wife, although I tell him we have been married for 64 years. He thinks I am someone come to cook and clean although I never leave him alone. This is quite upsetting. Do others have this trouble.
 

Manhatten

Registered User
Apr 7, 2020
13
My husband was diagnosed abut3 hrs ago although the signs were there about 5 hrs ago. He doesn't believe he lives here in our bungalow, and regularly start s to pack up random belongings. He gets stressed when I try to stop him. Also he doesn't believe I am his wife, although I tell him we have been married for 64 years. He thinks I am someone come to cook and clean although I never leave him alone. This is quite upsetting. Do others have this trouble.
Hi my husband has vascular dementia and he always says where we live isn’t home and asks regular when are we going home. Also thinks we have no money. Fortunately for me he still knows who I am.
So sad for you that he don’t know who you are.
Try keep positive not easy especially in lock down
 

Buffalo

New member
May 24, 2020
8
My mother is currently similar, although still recognises me and largely my father - sometimes she thinks he is a hired help. My brother rarely sees her and on some occasions she has no idea who he is.

She also has lost concepts of numbers, so millions quickly become billions.

To be honest, I just try and nod now, as there is no reasoning and it can often lead to arguments.

Chin up - you are not alone.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
6,904
Bristol
Welcome to the forums, @Jeanlily and @Buffalo.
As the others have said you are not alone. My partner has vascular dementia and thinks we live in a care home, though she vaguely remembers who I am. Feeling restless is normal I'm sorry to say and that feeling of reaching for a place of safety like a childhood home is something I've seen too often. Deflection, reassurance and patience are the only remedies I can offer.
https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/ has some tips which may help.
 

Jeanlily

New member
May 24, 2020
4
My husband was diagnosed abut3 hrs ago although the signs were there about 5 hrs ago. He doesn't believe he lives here in our bungalow, and regularly start s to pack up random belongings. He gets stressed when I try to stop him. Also he doesn't believe I am his wife, although I tell him we have been married for 64 years. He thinks I am someone come to cook and clean although I never leave him alone. This is quite upsetting. Do others have this trouble.
Thank you for your support, it helps to know that the things Eddie is saying and doing are usual behaviour. I am sorry I made a mistake in my original post, It should have read 3years and 5years as opposed to hours. He regularly asks where everyone has gone, although we live alone and have lived in our bungalow for over ten years. He cannot understand why all of our 4 children are married, with homes of their own,grown up children, and grandchildren! He thinks they are all too young, and our youngest son, who is 50, he still looks for every morning in bed, It is very difficult to know what to say back to him, I just try to change the subject. Thank you for listening.
 

vannesser

Registered User
Apr 4, 2016
317
Thank you for your support, it helps to know that the things Eddie is saying and doing are usual behaviour. I am sorry I made a mistake in my original post, It should have read 3years and 5years as opposed to hours. He regularly asks where everyone has gone, although we live alone and have lived in our bungalow for over ten years. He cannot understand why all of our 4 children are married, with homes of their own,grown up children, and grandchildren! He thinks they are all too young, and our youngest son, who is 50, he still looks for every morning in bed, It is very difficult to know what to say back to him, I just try to change the subject. Thank you for listening.
My oh as been diagnosed 4 year ago
He don’t no our home .he wonts to go to his home where his mum and dad lived 41 year a go .there both gone know .my daughter and her partner lives with us and granddaughter he asked if they have gone home and we need to .for past few days we have lived in a church or schools and saying we get arrested both places are from when he was a child (77)
I can not get him to go out he as /mobility problems needs help doing Neely every think dressing washing getting in and out of bed .and toilet needs /only had over past year and half .he forgets my name some times .i am 61 and oven think where as my time gone where I can be me but if I get the time the gilt comes in to be here for him
Post on here there’s lots of advise and always some one to talk to big hug to you both
 

Jeanlily

New member
May 24, 2020
4
My oh as been diagnosed 4 year ago
He don’t no our home .he wonts to go to his home where his mum and dad lived 41 year a go .there both gone know .my daughter and her partner lives with us and granddaughter he asked if they have gone home and we need to .for past few days we have lived in a church or schools and saying we get arrested both places are from when he was a child (77)
I can not get him to go out he as /mobility problems needs help doing Neely every think dressing washing getting in and out of bed .and toilet needs /only had over past year and half .he forgets my name some times .i am 61 and oven think where as my time gone where I can be me but if I get the time the gilt comes in to be here for him
Post on here there’s lots of advise and always some one to talk to big hug to you both
Thank you for the hug. And I feel more sorry for you, because you are a much younger couple than we are, we are 82 and 84 respectively and so have had several years more than you, to enjoy our lives, before this terrible illness took over. I must be very grateful for the past. And I send the hug back to you. Thank you
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
263
my husband has vascular dementia and was diagnosed in march although he had it a year before that so do some personal care and act as his memory. do his meds and help with dressing. he can be short tempered. but in the main he is so gentle and mellow always concerned about me. he was always a bit like that but is exaggerated now. because i was a carer in a care home i know what the end result is likely to be but not the beginning so im learning a lot from peoples on the forum. thankyou for all your posts and experiences
 

Nomorepets

Registered User
May 26, 2020
10
My husband was diagnosed abut3 hrs ago although the signs were there about 5 hrs ago. He doesn't believe he lives here in our bungalow, and regularly start s to pack up random belongings. He gets stressed when I try to stop him. Also he doesn't believe I am his wife, although I tell him we have been married for 64 years. He thinks I am someone come to cook and clean although I never leave him alone. This is quite upsetting. Do others have this trouble.
My late father was like this although he did not suffer with Dementia, it was due to a UTI he picked up in hospital which triggered his immune system into thinking it was being attacked, can't explain but anyway. My Dad kept looking for his sisters who had died some years back and he thought the world of his sisters which made it so sad. He too would pack his bags but in his case he was about to go off to war. Sometimes he would relive things he did or saw while in the army quite heartbreaking. Then for a couple of weeks he thought my mother was his big sister and one night when she went to get into bed he pulled the covers around himself screaming "What are you doing, are you stupid" and my mother slept on the settee. The next morning he was his usual self, didn't know what had happened. There were times where he thought she was a cleaner and kept telling her to get out of the house after she hoovered. He pushed her out of the door one time while she was in her nightclothes and after that she pinned a key to her clothes each day/night. I've no answers, I wish I did, but you are not alone. Don't forget to look after yourself either.