i reminded him it was valentines but it didnt register. So i bought my partner of 67 a bunch of red roses and some chocolates. He ate the chocolates but that was all. Last year when this all began and i was desperately asking myself whether he had depression or dementia he had bought me red rose. Then, I dried one of them and kept it because something told me it would be the last. I played him a favourite..'pretty woman ..roy orbison ...and he danced. But that finbally broke me into pieces. He used to be an amazing rock and roller but now the movements are jerky and his face expressionless. so i drove to a hill nearby and wept and wept..because the man i have loved with my life has gone and i shall never see him again. No, he wont wake up with his quick intelligent wit again. I am heart broken, and grief striken. It has been two years since this began and only now can i tell anyone. I tell myself that if this hurts me how bad can it be for him?? I must hide my feelings of grief and make sure that he is ok; cheer him up, smile and laugh. Nobody knows how I feel about this. All i do know is that if he has to be a diferent peson, helpless now after all his career across the deserts of the world, i will love him as much. but i must ask nothing. Crazy. No i feel it cannot be quite true. So i am taking him to africa in four weeks. he will see the desert again, see the blue skies and maybe somehwere remember all the mountains he climbed as he mapped them. maybe he willr emember the tent he lived in for a whole year, alone in the desert. maybe he will remember the valentines message to me so long ago 'desert man loves the witch' good night all.