Vaccine

[Kay111]

Hi everyone, I don't know if anyone's been in the same situation as this and if you have any advice.

My mum is the FT carer for dad who is in the advance stages. I go in twice a day to help with his personal care at the moment as she doesn't want agency carers coming in while covid is about.

I'm absolutely thrilled that there's a vaccine and have been waiting eagerly for dad's call up (though he's housebound so we'll have to probably wait til they can do it like a visiting flu jab). I was discussing it with my mum a few days ago only to find out she's fallen down a youtube conspiracy rabbit hole and has decided the jab is unsafe!! She doesn't want it for herself (though she's in her 70s and has a pre-existing lung condition) and doesn't want dad to have it either.

I'm really frustrated and sad about it all. I don't know what I can do to convince her and I am so furious at those maliciously creating false information. Any suggestions?

 

[lemonbalm]

Oh that's so unfortunate @Kay111 . Is your mum a fan of the Queen and Prince Philip at all or any of the famous people in the news who have had the vaccine? Would any of those news stories help to persuade her, do you think?

 

[Kay111]

I've tried to show her footage but she just says it could just be a PR stunt (!!! I mean, what?!). She's so lonely in lockdown, other than me popping in to help, she only has dad and he isn't able to make conversation any more. So late at night she's on youtube and finding all these weird things. It's really upsetting.

 

[lemonbalm]

That's infuriating. Do you think her doctor could persuade her?

 

[Kay111]

So infuriating!!

Maybe. I'm hesitant to waste the GPs time on this, they must be so swamped at the moment and this is so silly! Maybe I'll keep chipping away a little first.

 

[lemonbalm]

With a bit of luck, your mum will have changed her mind when the time comes. Perhaps you will be able to find some really convincing snippet in the meantime. I'll keep an eye out for anything I think might be worth trying!

 

[jennifer1967]

you wont be wasting the gp time. maybe the nurse could talk to her. is it worth back away and come back to it. would it be a case of more you say, the more your mum would dig her heels in? is it worth showing the reality of covid ? maybe carers cant come back until your mums had it? just thinking thats all

 

[Kay111]

Thank you @lemonbalm !

@jennifer1967 - you might be right. We're both quite stubborn and she might dig her heels in if I push too much. I hope she stops watching those awful YT videos. I just feel really dejected. Things were so bleak and then this little ray of hope, and then it's snuffed out again but for no good reason!

 

[Melles Belles]

Are there any clips on YouTube that are positive regarding the vaccine? If yes, maybe you could show them to your mum for ‘balance’

 

[Louise7]

@Kay111 Does your mum have health & welfare power of attorney for your Dad? This fact sheet explains the 'best interest' approach towards covid vaccination for those who lack mental capacity:

If the person does not have mental capacity to make the decision themselves then a ‘best interests’ decision about vaccination will need to be made on their behalf, although they should still be involved as much as they can. If the person with dementia has appointed an attorney for health and welfare, the attorney should discuss things with professionals but it is ultimately the attorney’s decision.

Otherwise, the decision will be made by health professionals in consultation with those closest to the person and those who know them best. The best interests decision-making must focus on the individual person and include looking at the risks and benefits of them having or not having the vaccine. If possible the decision should be made in good time before any possible vaccination and recorded in the person’s care record.

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/coronavirus/consent-vaccine-covid-19-vaccination

 

[Kay111]

@Melles Belles - good idea, I'll try find a few and see how she takes it.

@Louise7 yes, she has the health LPA. I know she only wants best for dad, which is what makes it so difficult. I just wish she didn't believe some random anybody with a video camera off YT rather than doctors and nurses and her own daughter