Morning smartieplum
my hat goes off to you - you have been working and caring for your parents - what a super daughter you are
something, though, was going to give, wasn't it
I'm sorry to read that you are off work - so at first I thought you had 'broken'
then I realised you have organised some home help and a day club for your mum - good for you - you're clearly together enough to know you need other input and have gone out and found some - I really hope it helps
I'm with your other responders - you have to insist that your mum goes to the club (and then ask for more day care) and that the home help keeps coming (then up it and get help at other times - you don't mention whether your mum may need personal care) - yep, I know, easier written than done - use every reason/excuse under the sun - eg it's for you, so you can go back to work, everyone you know of a certain age has help, it's free (fib) don't look a gift horse etc
I assume - because of the care organised - that you have had a needs assessment done for your mum (and dad?) and that you have Attendance Allowance (for both?) - I wonder if you have had a carer's assessment yourself - please do: I appreciate that as you are employed you probably won't qualify for carer's allowance However there may be other 'benefits' available - I didn't realise that a carer can be entitled to have respite care organised to give them a break (I looked after dad at his home for a while - he's now in a care home)
have you contacted the council about a reduction of Council Tax? I only mention financial stuff as the extra cash can help fund care - and your family is entitled to it
have you contacted your local Alzheimer's branch? - they may have contacts for sitters to give you some time out of the house
I wonder if there are any local societies for the blind/partially sighted RNIB eg for help for your dad
I appreciate that while you are working it's difficult to get to carers meetings/cafes - while you are off, maybe you can pop in to a few? just talking to others going through similar experiences can help
and of course there's this forum
- glad you found us
sorry to seem bossy - just wanted to give you some options
your parents matter a lot - however so do you - you cannot compromise your health and your future - if your siblings have said "if there's anything ... ", well tell them there is - tell them you have tickets to a film, the chance of a lunch out (fib!) and they need to fill in for you - tell them you are at breaking point, and as marionq says, that they need to organise something every other weekend at least or you will breakdown - don't ask: TELL - if you can't do it face to face, write to them and suggest a weekend/evening 'sitting' time for each of them so there's a clear expectation from you that they will agree
finally (honest) - please consider for the future that your mum will be well taken care of in a care home; some will take both your parents - or is there sheltered housing available near you (though not sure all are suitable)?
ignore any or all of this
very best wishes