1. JodyBowry

    JodyBowry New member

    Oct 1, 2018
    I was just wondering if people have experience people with dementia urinating in places other than the toilet. My father has urinated in the kitchen bin approx 4 times in the last 2 weeks, but only when we are not around. He isn’t incontinent and always knows to wee in the bathroom when we are home, but every time we go out he then wee’d in the bin. I suppose I am starting to wonder if it is him being a lazy old man or it’s the Alzheimer’s?
  2. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    I'd say it's the Alzheimer's. People lose their inhibitions and the knowledge of what's appropriate or not.

    There was a phase where my OH used to wee into a glass and pour it out in the kitchen sink. Every night! His explanation was that the kitchen was closer than the bathroom so he wouldn't wake me up at night (we had different bedrooms). I had never woken up before but reasoning didn't work. Unfortunately the kitchen had no lock, but I tried to block the door with a chair at night. Of course he simply moved it. I can't remember how long that phase lasted, but it did stop after a while. The more incontinent he got, the less he actually got up to go to the toilet anymore.
  3. chickenlady

    chickenlady Registered User

    Feb 28, 2016
    Get him an old fashioned urinal, a white plastic one, easy to recognise and easy to rinse out.
  4. Duggies-girl

    Duggies-girl Registered User

    Sep 6, 2017
    I found dad wandering in his kitchen near the bin in the middle of the night a couple of times and when I asked him what he was doing he said he was looking for the toilet.

    I did worry about the proximity of the bin at the time but I just showed him where the toilet was and then steered him back to his bed.

    I think this disorientation is probably common especially at night. Dad's bin is black so it is hard to find in the dark.
  5. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    South coast
    OH has urinated in the laundry box.
    Its white and has a lift up lid on hinges, so I can sort of see the confusion.
  6. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    My late husband used a row of plant pots on the bedroom windowsill. He also used faeces as a sort of "top dressing" on the compost in the pots. I spent ages cleaning the bedroom, trying to locate the source of the awful smell. It was only when my row of Christmas cactus plants started to die that I realised......! Plants, pots and all went straight in the bin!
  7. maryjoan

    maryjoan Registered User

    Mar 25, 2017
    South of the Border
    what do we put up with!!!?

    My OH urinates in the wash had basin in the bathroom - says as he is tall (6'2") it is easier!
  8. LynneMcV

    LynneMcV Volunteer Moderator

    May 9, 2012
    south-east London
    My husband occasionally did similar - but only at night when I was asleep and not immediately on hand to guide him to the toilet. I think he woke up and became disorientated. Once, he mistook the wardrobe for the toilet and on a handful of occasions he urinated up the bedroom wall or at the side of the bed.. It definitely wasn't laziness, he was just totally bewildered - as far as he was concerned he was doing the right thing.

    I'm afraid he lost his ability to know where different rooms were in the house. During the day he would walk around the house with no problem, but he couldn't direct himself to a specific location if asked. Every day I had to physically show him where the bedroom, kitchen, front room were - and how to find the bathroom or toilet. Had I not been there 24/7 I am absolutely certain he would have used any place in the house as a loo during the daytime - not just the occasional incident at night.

    I also know of other people with dementia using bins, baths, showers, corners of rooms and the garden as a general toilet. another chap I knew with dementia would wee out of a downstairs window - so I have no doubt in my mind that it is the disease causing confusion and totally out of the person's control.
  9. Maggie

    Maggie Registered User

    Oct 11, 2003
    Gibraltar/England london Now

    It easy to perceive your father is lazy, does make one wonder that.

    in person-centred care dementia, we learn when we meet a person with Dementia.
    Not to see the Dementia, but to see see the " Whole person"
    That is integrated into care planning.

    Meaning behaviours, skills hobbies, culture before the person had dementia.

    I am no expert only my life experience from caring for my mother who had VD/AZ for over 7 years, I was always on talking point back then 10 years ago.
    Till my mother passed away 10 years ago.

    person-centered care dementia did not have that much awareness back them as it has now.

    I don't know your father age or background of life with your mother before your mother passed away.

    Maybe when you're all at home with your father you bring him awareness cognitive awareness, that he must use the toilet.

    when no one's at home he may just have a habit of using a bucket in his bedroom with his wife or some other habit like that.
    or his getting confuses in where the toilet is, is making a mistake.

    When my father was alive living with my mother, mum use to have a habit of urinating in a bucket downstairs, rather than going upstairs to the toilet, but never did it when she came to my home.
    when my father died & a year later mum was diagnosed with AZ.
    I gave up the Job my mother lived with me full time.
    My mother would use the toilet normally.
    But when I was not around mum would be urinating feces
    the floor.
    It did all get very negative

    Then the stage of not washing.
    Dignity comes into it.
    Prompting rather than telling a person to wash.
    Not saying you're doing that.
    Just some advice.
    I have loads of that.

    Oh Highsight
  10. rhubarbtree

    rhubarbtree Registered User

    Jan 7, 2015
    North West
    Hi Jody,

    My OH used the kitchen bin a couple of times. I now just have a white plastic bag on the countertop for rubbish. He has also used the kitchen sink or will go out into the garden if the back door is not locked. When we are sitting in the living room in the evening he will head towards the kitchen door but when he sees me looking will turn right towards the toilet. He always denies any misuse. Except once when I caught him at the kitchen sink and went ballistic. He just laughed and said something along the lines of "lots of people do".

    I am vigilant at all times. Even now upstairs typing this I am listening out for him moving.

    I have just removed the kitchen bin, keep doors shut or locked, toilet door open and light on in the evening. I also bought two of the commercial toilet signs to point him on his way (hard to say if these have helped). At the present moment there is no way to explain his behaviour but I cannot help thinking there is an element of devious young child or perhaps his way of fighting the restrictions caused by the disease.

    It is a right pain.
  11. Maggie

    Maggie Registered User

    Oct 11, 2003
    Gibraltar/England london Now
    Good point
    losing somedays clarity of cognitive social behaviours, you're his back up memories.

    (I tell that to my granddaughter now, she's my back up memory )

    Working with people with dementia in a care home has given a different perspective on my mother's behaviours.

    As they share such commons symptoms but are all so unique in how the person deals with them.

    I think its really hard when we are so emotionally close to our loved ones with dementia & caring for them.
    such a rollercoaster of emotions
    I can look at it from outside the Box now.

    I do admire you all.
  12. JodyBowry

    JodyBowry New member

    Oct 1, 2018
    Hi everyone,

    I just wanted to say a massive thank you for all of your replies, advice and support with the matter.

    It’s been amazingly insightful and helpful.

  13. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    North Manchester
    Interesting thread.
    I wonder if any male carers had a similar problem.
    Not urinating in kitchen bin,flower pot etc but pulling knickers down and urinating on anything she could sit on.
  14. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    South coast
    Yes, @nitram I believe its quite common for both sexes. I knew a fellow (male) carer who cared for his mum and he went through a period when his mum would use the sitting room chairs as a toilet and another person whose mum used the bath. Ive seen several mentions on these boards too - I particularly remember one member who referred to her mum as the "phantom bin piddler"
  15. Maggie

    Maggie Registered User

    Oct 11, 2003
    Gibraltar/England london Now
    interesting Question

    My food for thoughts is .....

    As the "disease" called dementia does not discriminate, no matter what Gender, we are.

    Then it must come down, Just human learnt behaviour pattern as in Gender differences in social toilet habits.

    Am assuming she's your wife.
    when my mother was at that stage as I mentioned above.
    My mother would even forget to put her Knickers on, & did not like the pull-up pads as Knickers.

    We were given a medication abroad called,
    Ebixa which is used to treat moderately severe to severe Alzheimer's disease
    did help with those symptoms.
    When in the UK with my mother I made sure my mother was given that medication on the NHS.

    Did give my mother more clarity of thought in remembering & social awareness in her own body & to those around her in, where the toilet was.
    ( If I have worded that right ) .
    She let me put those pull up pads on her & help from me showing her the way to the toilet, as she still wanted to use the toilet even though she had the pull-up pads.
    It is not a cure Ebixa & does not work for everyone with Dementia, but it did make my life easier.
    I still had to be mums 24/7 carer.
  16. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    North Manchester
    T'was my late wife.
    Pulling knickers down was not always a requirement, just sit down somewhere and urinate.
    Ebixa + sodium valporate did help, however 24/7 watching was really 24/7 not 23.59/7
  17. Maggie

    Maggie Registered User

    Oct 11, 2003
    Gibraltar/England london Now
    Sorry to read it was your late wife.
    Everyone does have different behaviours, even though the symptoms are the same.

    I felt like Ebixa was like a Miracle!
    Even though never a cure.
    My mum died of Cancer at the end.

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