In a nutshell, the story is this: Mum lives alone in her bungalow with carers coming in twice a day. She is very incontinent now and has T***lady pads. Sometimes she forgets to wear them, and sometimes she just floods them. The smell in the bungalow is getting to eye-watering proportions now. She also wets the bed, and then won't allow the carers to change it - she spends a great deal of her time in bed these days, and the bedding is filthy. Her clothes are also very smelly as the laundry isn't being done regularly, and if she wets her trousers, she just puts them on the radiator to dry. Occasionally she will allow one of the carers to put a load of washing on, but very rarely. I've had to take a step back from 'caring' as she was getting very angry with me, accusing me of bossing her around and telling her she couldn't do what she wanted in her own home now. I only go over about once a week, and just sit and chat and try not to get get involved in anything contentious. I know she needs more care because she just can't look after herself or her home any longer, but she just won't allow the carers to do much. It's so hard to see her like this - she was always very particular and house proud, and, although the house (apart from her bedroom) still looks ok (she has a cleaner once a week), but it smells awful. She also smells bad. I'm reasonably sure that she hardly ever showers or washes her hair any more (she's 'supposed' to shower while the carer is there in the mornings, the 'excuse' being in case she slips) but ALWAYS refuses. We've had conversations about it a million times, and, of course, as far as she's concerned, she showers every day! I'm at my wits end now and just don't know what to do to ensure that she is at least clean and sweet smelling when she goes out to Age UK on a Wednesday. Any advice would be gratefully received, although I have tried everything I can think of, to no avail, so i don't hold put much hope!