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Urgh!

Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
1,290
0
Thank you @MaNaAk . References are a bit tricky (the organisation I worked for has been disbanded) but hopefully we have a solution.
 

cobden 28

Registered User
Dec 15, 2017
133
0
He's exactly the same as my dad who announced to everyone that he was the bread winner a few years after he retired when I was the only bread winner in the household. He could also sulk if we mentioned as the dementia nurse later said that his deafness was aggravating his Alzheimers I really do support reminding the older generation to have hearing checks

MaNaAk
A deaf elderly person may need hearing aids, but ypou can't always make the person remember to put the darn things in before answering the phone! Same with false teeth - Mum's upper dentures need replacing or she needs to use Fixodent on her dentures. The rsukt is that a telephone conversatiopn with Mum (91 and with Alhzeimers) is now impossible because she can't hear the phone ring or what I'm trying to say to her - her speech is impossible to understand.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
7,924
0
Essex
A deaf elderly person may need hearing aids, but ypou can't always make the person remember to put the darn things in before answering the phone! Same with false teeth - Mum's upper dentures need replacing or she needs to use Fixodent on her dentures. The rsukt is that a telephone conversatiopn with Mum (91 and with Alhzeimers) is now impossible because she can't hear the phone ring or what I'm trying to say to her - her speech is impossible to understand.
Also dad was constantly losing his hearing aids

MaNaAk
 

56von

Registered User
Jun 19, 2022
28
0
Well @56von as all the young people I know say, it is what it is. In some ways you know what is coming, but that is also a double edged sword. I would say, no two PWD are the same, and certainly my parents personalities and I suspect their types of dementia affect the way things manifest.
Like so much about being a carer, you aren't really in control and tend to have to deal with things as they happen, day by day.
Very true. Still drives me crazy though.
 

Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
1,290
0
Yes, drives me crazy too. Just have to remind myself, it is the disease, not my parents.
 

Moggymad

Registered User
May 12, 2017
1,068
0
I revisited the care home my mum was in today before she died in 2019, this time to accompany partner & his sister who are looking for their dad. i wondered after all this time howmany of the residents & staff were stilli there. In particular I wondered about V who had. bouts of violent bdhaviour in the past. She was still there to my surprise but looking a very old frail lady now. To my complete surprise she held her hand out to me & thought she knew me from the soap factory(?). She was always full of confabulations. Somehow somewhere in her memory she knew she knew me. So I say to people who have a loved one with dementia that I don’t think they are completely lost, some part of them somewhere is still there. She shook my hand as I moved on & I was just a tad cautious as she still has a good left hook apparently!
Yes, drives me crazy too. Just have to remind myself, it is the disease, not my parents.
 

Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
1,290
0
Thank you @MaNaAk - wound is looking good and he has less pain now so all good. We had lunch in a local cafe, a relatively new experience for my Dad. Then home to his beloved parrot. I left them whistling away to each other.
Today was a good day.
 

Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
1,290
0
Well, baring a "phone call from hell", I am off out tonight to see a band. Then back to our regular garden centre trip with my Dad tomorrow. Fingers crossed for a good couple of days.
Hoping everyone is having as good a day as you can.
 

DreamsAreReal

Registered User
Oct 17, 2015
423
0
Somehow somewhere in her memory she knew she knew me. So I say to people who have a loved one with dementia that I don’t think they are completely lost, some part of them somewhere is still there. She shook my hand as I moved on & I was just a tad cautious as she still has a good left hook apparently!
I agree 100% with this and it's important to understand that.
 

alzie

New member
Jul 1, 2022
2
0
I understand the tiredness. Try and have a relaxing break this weekend - you need it and you deserve it.
You need to take care of your own health too and do things that you enjoy! I have alzheimer's and vascular dementia. I was diagnosed in late 2018 with it. My husband is my rock and my lads also, I am on my computer a lot and I write poetry! You take care now and enjoy your week-end away!
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
12,438
0
Yorkshire
Hello @alzie
A warm welcome to DTP
I hope you will find posting here helpful to you and your husband ... you sound to have a lovely family
Have a good weekend yourself
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
67,102
0
71
Dundee
You need to take care of your own health too and do things that you enjoy! I have alzheimer's and vascular dementia. I was diagnosed in late 2018 with it. My husband is my rock and my lads also, I am on my computer a lot and I write poetry! You take care now and enjoy your week-end away!

Welcome to the forum. I’m glad you’ve found us!
 

alzie

New member
Jul 1, 2022
2
0
Hello @alzie
A warm welcome to DTP
I hope you will find posting here helpful to you and your husband ... you sound to have a lovely family
Have a good weekend yourself
Thank you for the welcome! We as a family have always been close and good friends too, my mum was like that with us, I have a sister and two brothers! Her brothers and sisters were more like elder sisters and brothers to us, she was the oldest sister and as a family we all get along well! I'm 71 now and am the eldest of my siblings. I married my husband while he was in the army and lived in Germany for 16years in total, learnt to speak a bit of German which was handy while shopping in town! We're out now and live in Shetland now, been here for nearly 20years! Nice to hear from you!
 

Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
1,290
0
Well, the gig was great. Despite what you may have read in the London press, Guns n Roses at Spurs Stadium were excellent. It did me a lot of good I think.
We are having a good week this week with my Dad. He seems to have a bit more energy (pacemaker?) and is pretty positive, which is good. I stepped back a little from when I saw him a lot, around the hospital visits, and he very much resented my "interference". It is a difficult line between independence, risky behaviour and the odd downright eccentric idea. I don't always get the balance right and sometimes I need to back off and deal with whatever happens. It isn't easy but I can't force him ad arguing isn't doing either of us much good.
My sister is coming over with her family later this month, which will be good. Although Daddy likes to see them, as is often the case, he worries about their visit and does not like the change in routine. He becomes very focused on his animals "the parrot won't like being in her cage whilst they are here". In my view, the parrot is an evil ***** and it won't do her any harm. She bites anyone she does not like so needs to be in her cage. Really I think it is about Daddy not liking change - the parrot is just the way he expresses what he is feeling.
That sounds a bit weird, but then so is the dementia reality sometimes. And parrots are definitely odd.....