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Urgh!

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
8,039
0
Essex
Thanks @MaNaAk - I think you have the right of it there. Head of the house. To be fair, he had to make a lot of decisions for the whole family for a long time. In his mind I think he thinks he still does.
He's exactly the same as my dad who announced to everyone that he was the bread winner a few years after he retired when I was the only bread winner in the household. He could also sulk if we mentioned as the dementia nurse later said that his deafness was aggravating his Alzheimers I really do support reminding the older generation to have hearing checks

MaNaAk
 

Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
1,313
0
And now Head of the House does not want to self-isolate before having the Pacemaker fitted, so now not sure that he wants it at all. Give me strength.
I am hoping I can get him through the pre-op and the procedure next week. Oh and his letter said he could not have anyone go with him. I will be ringing the hospital tomorrow as I already requested this.
Quite how I can get him to slef isolate, god knows. Fortunately he does not go out a great deal.
Hope everyone else's week has started of better.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
12,784
0
Southampton
And now Head of the House does not want to self-isolate before having the Pacemaker fitted, so now not sure that he wants it at all. Give me strength.
I am hoping I can get him through the pre-op and the procedure next week. Oh and his letter said he could not have anyone go with him. I will be ringing the hospital tomorrow as I already requested this.
Quite how I can get him to slef isolate, god knows. Fortunately he does not go out a great deal.
Hope everyone else's week has started of better.
the hospital said that my husband should go alone but i phoned and said that he cant go on his own but one of my kids would be with him. they were fine about it and just marked it down that that was what was going to happen. i think maybe a standard letter so people dont take whole families, picnics for a day out. he had to have cat scan, barium meal and swallow not all on the same go.
 

Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
1,313
0
Good morning.
Well, the day of the Pacemaker op is here. I am taking him and will wait in the hospital whilst the procedure is done. Hopefully it will be pretty straightforward.
Wishing everyone a good day today.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
8,039
0
Essex
Good morning.
Well, the day of the Pacemaker op is here. I am taking him and will wait in the hospital whilst the procedure is done. Hopefully it will be pretty straightforward.
Wishing everyone a good day today.
Good luck @Helly68 and thinking of you both.

MaNaAk
 

56von

Registered User
Jun 19, 2022
28
0
It has been a while since I posted about myself or my Dad.
Some of you may remember that my Mum had mixed dementia and died nearly two years ago. Shortly after, my father was diagnosed with early memory loss, probably Alzheimers. So, here we are again.

I am writing this as a kind of therapy, to get down what is in my head, rather than for advice. My father currently lives alone, near me, but like so many of us, I am not sure for how much longer this will be practical.

He is very determined, independent and fixed in his ways (sound familiar?). I am his only relative in this country. He is starting to have issues living alone - locking himself out, losing keys, money cards etc. Usually we deal with this (I am aware he is doing pretty well all things considered), but this week has not been good.
I was made redundant from my NHS job and am now looking for work. I have an interview tomorrow, which is great, but making me very anxious. This isn't helped by regular phone calls from my Dad who needs something, when I am trying to work on presentations/interview questions. I am tired and stressed, not ideal to make a good impression tomorrow.
I know in many ways, things are relative, and I am lucky that at the moment, he is still able to live alone, albeit with support. I am just very worried about the future. And tired, so tired.
So, not really sure where I am going with this, but if you go thtis far, thank you. Reading posts on the forum each day (and trying to reply to those I think I have some knowledge of) really helps me.
Oh dear. I do feel for anyone having 2 dementia experiences. I have only the one and O too find it exhausting to deal with. Good luck.
 

Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
1,313
0
Thank you everyone for the support.
Well, it was a very long day yesterday. The pacemaker got put in, but lots of delays and Daddy threatening to escape from the hospital. I am going round there this morning, he seems sore and grumpy, which is not surprising. We have to go back on Thursday to check the wound and make sure he has not knocked the wire. Finvers crossed.
I think I underestimated how much this would affect him, but it is something that needs to be done - always a balance with dementia.
Now to see if I can get him to take it easy........
 

Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
1,313
0
I am just shattered today. I hope that the Pacemaker can stay in (that he does not mess with the wound) and he adapts to not being able to use the arm too much in the early stages. It is at times like these that the level of responsibility for someone else is just crushing.
I am OK but not sure how all this is going to work once I start my new job. He has refused care from anyone else.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
8,039
0
Essex
I am just shattered today. I hope that the Pacemaker can stay in (that he does not mess with the wound) and he adapts to not being able to use the arm too much in the early stages. It is at times like these that the level of responsibility for someone else is just crushing.
I am OK but not sure how all this is going to work once I start my new job. He has refused care from anyone else.
Good luck with everything @Helly68 . What job is that?
 

Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
1,313
0
@MaNaAk - a project manager role in the NHS that I hope to start soon. Still sorting out the references but fingers crossed.
Dad is doing OK this morning, I think he is taking he painkillers and that is helping. We had a potter in ihis garden and I picked some raspberries whilst he removed weed from the pond. That's his idea of taking it easy after an operation.....I was lucky he didn't get the stepladder out.....
Later, in a lovely moment of coincidence, we met a lady outside his house who had a parakeet in her car. Of course he had to admire it (having a parrot himself), we had a nice chat and gave her the details of a local vet that does exotic animals. We had the front door to his house open, and I could hear his parrot Hercule (in her cage) screaming at not being part of the conversation!
It's these moments that sometimes make up for the exhausting grind of dementia. For a moment my father was happy talking aout something he knows about. I must try to hang on to this in the midst of everything......
 

Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
1,313
0
Oh dear. I do feel for anyone having 2 dementia experiences. I have only the one and O too find it exhausting to deal with. Good luck.
Well @56von as all the young people I know say, it is what it is. In some ways you know what is coming, but that is also a double edged sword. I would say, no two PWD are the same, and certainly my parents personalities and I suspect their types of dementia affect the way things manifest.
Like so much about being a carer, you aren't really in control and tend to have to deal with things as they happen, day by day.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
8,039
0
Essex
@MaNaAk - a project manager role in the NHS that I hope to start soon. Still sorting out the references but fingers crossed.
Dad is doing OK this morning, I think he is taking he painkillers and that is helping. We had a potter in ihis garden and I picked some raspberries whilst he removed weed from the pond. That's his idea of taking it easy after an operation.....I was lucky he didn't get the stepladder out.....
Later, in a lovely moment of coincidence, we met a lady outside his house who had a parakeet in her car. Of course he had to admire it (having a parrot himself), we had a nice chat and gave her the details of a local vet that does exotic animals. We had the front door to his house open, and I could hear his parrot Hercule (in her cage) screaming at not being part of the conversation!
It's these moments that sometimes make up for the exhausting grind of dementia. For a moment my father was happy talking aout something he knows about. I must try to hang on to this in the midst of everything......
Congratulations!

MaNaAk
 

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