Urgent question! Upstairs or downstairs in nursing home?

Marmotta838

Registered User
Apr 16, 2016
52
0
Australia
Hi all,

Mother, as you may know, suffers from bad anxiety. It appears to have improved a little in the last couple of weeks. But a room has become available upstairs in the higher care area - it's about a third the size of her current room and has no fridge or tea making stuff. Many people feel that she would feel less isolated there, the night nurses don't have so far to go to attend to her and she might be less anxious when she wakes in the night.

The worries are, if she continues to call out in her sleep as she does now, it will be more noticed up there and they will have to medicate her more/send her to a specialist place to have her medications reviewed (mind you they are thinking of doing that now downstairs). If her anxiety continues and doesn't get better up there, it will be noticed more. It could, however, improve due to more company and nurses. This is the huge question - and it's so uncertain! We have to try and work out which is less risky, basically.... and I guess where she's likely to be happier.

Some of the night nurses will still be the same bad-tempered ones - it's just they won't have as far to go to attend to her.

She would be closer (not that much physically, but psychologically) to where activities are going on.

She might regret leaving the larger room and its facilities.

It's a one way move - once she's gone up she can't go back to the other room.

At the moment, the Home is threatening to send her to a special place for dementia people with severe 'behaviours' (we don't consider her behaviours are severe and we believe the place would be very distressing for her with her anxiety and seeing others with much worse behaviours). They are considering getting a hold put on our guardianship to enable the guardianship board to make a decision on it. It's like a threat..... In moving Mother upstairs we would be reducing some tension with the Home by doing something else to try and improve Mother's anxiety - but if it backfires.....

Help! Any ideas/suggestions? Thanks in advance..... We have another eight hours to decide! (They told us this morning)

OH yes - I forgot to mention that when my brother and I mentioned it to her, she suddenly became so lucid and logical, as if she had no dementia and gave us about 8 good reasons why it wasn't good to go up. But then later after a lot of persuasion from my brother as to the benefits, she was starting to come around to it. I have no idea what the ethics are in this situation - no idea at all. Obviously if she does make the move I will make the best of it and say it was definitely the right decision....
 
Last edited:

arielsmelody

Registered User
Jul 16, 2015
515
0
From what you've said, it seems as if the current situation isn't working, so something will have to change in the near future. When you say that it might backfire, the main problem seems to be that the room is smaller and she might not settle? But if she doesn't move, and things don't improve, it sounds as if the home might not be happy for her to stay in the current room anyway.

Just looking from the outside, if things aren't working as they are, you have to look at the alternatives and maybe this is the best alternative at the moment?
 

dottyd

Registered User
Jan 22, 2011
1,063
0
n.e.
If she can escape outside to a secure garden I would say downstairs every time.
My mum was upstairs for 3.5 years. When I was no longer able to take her out I wondered how often she would get out.

Now she's downstairs in a nursing home and at least she has that option.
 

Marmotta838

Registered User
Apr 16, 2016
52
0
Australia
Result

Thanks for replying....

The result is that she's stayed downstairs. When a large decision/crisis comes up, she often becomes amazingly lucid and logical - it's bizarre. She came up with many reasons why moving upstairs wouldn't be such a good idea at this stage. Although myself and two brothers had tried to convince her it was a good idea, she didn't feel it was necessary at this stage but could see the reasons for it later on. She is going to try to control her calling out at night and not calling the night staff so much. It's interesting that she seems to have more control over this than we might have imagined! I think the Mirtazapine and extra Panadol might also be helping finally.....

I think we will keep an eye out for a room upstairs in the next six months though - see what comes up. Eventually she will need more care and next time a suitable room comes up we will be more prepared for it.....