Urgent Help Needed With EPA ......advice Please !!!

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by DaisyG, Sep 18, 2006.

  1. DaisyG

    DaisyG Registered User

    Feb 20, 2006
    183
    North West England
    Dear All,


    I'm finally getting around to arranging the dreaded EPA.


    Got a MAJOR problem .... in that brother in law (slimeball).... wants to the the one who counter signs the forms.
    To be blunt... I can't stand the man....

    He wants 'control' over what little money we have.


    In the coming months we were planning on selling up , and moving to alternative accommodation.


    He has 'offered' to 'invest' the money ( a little equity) for us....
    He says that we must give him 'as much as we decide' for him to 'deal with'.

    he apparently knows people that will help us.....


    I DO NOT WANT THIS MAN TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH OUR FINANCES AT ALL.

    EVER.


    Can he force me to have him sign the forms?



    In addition... he wants us to use a LAWYER that he knows
    (ex neighbour). .. and NOT someone I have found through the CAB and Carers Service.


    Can someone PLEASE explain what differences there might be in the quality of the LAWYER, when in comes to getting the EPA done?



    We have NO spare cash to be paying a TOP NOTCH LAWYER
    I 'know' one of the other LAWYERs in the FIRM that he wants to use is
    A CROOK.... BIG TIME !!
    One of those LAWYERS that can and will get you off anything.... For a fee of course.


    So where does that leave me?

    Can I go ahead and do the EPA, with family objecting?


    Answers please...


    A VERY SAD AND EMOTIONAL


    DAISY....
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,738
    Kent
    Hi Daisy.
    So sorry you have `family` problems to add to your worries.

    You are the next of kin and although I have no legal background, your money is your own and your brother-in-law has no right to demand you take his advice.

    As soon as you can, see your solicitor. Whether he`s from CAB or the Royal Family, he will want the best for you, as his client and I`m sure he`ll be able to put your mind at rest.

    Until then, let your brother-in- law know, in no uncertain terms, that you will NOT be bullied and will seek your own legal advice and act on that.

    Try not to let him see how he affects you. If you possibly can, stay as cool as you can.

    Good Luck, Chin up. GrannieG
     
  3. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,437
    #3 jenniferpa, Sep 18, 2006
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2006
    Daisy, am I right in thinking that it is your husband's EPA? And it hasn't been drawn up yet, correct? When it is drawn up, you will be asked to name a minimum of 3 realtives who should be notified when the EPA is going to be registered. The order is, spouse (i.e. you), children, parents of the donor, then brothers and sisters of the donor. and then further down the line. In other words, even if you have no children, and assuming neither of your husbands parents are still living, not until the EPA is registered has your BIL any right to put his oar in. Even then, it will be up to him to prove that you are not a fit attorney for your husband, and that would be pretty difficult to do.

    As other's have said, don't be bullied by this, well, bully.

    Jennifer

    Edited to add:
    Strictly speaking, you don't even need a solicitor to fill out an EPA. However, with someone like this in the family, it's obviously a good idea to do so. Any reasonably competant solicitor (and I'm sure anyone suggested by CAB will be that) is capable of doing this.
     
  4. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool
    I'm sorry to hear that you are being put through this Daisy. I am one of three children and the main thing that has always stopped my sister and I going for EPA or COP is the fact that my brother would have to be notified and could object or even ask to take on the duties himself. He would probably not succeed but we don't want to put ourselves through that unless we have to. However, if it was my spouse that I wanted to represent I would feel differently and would see this bully off!

    As the others have said you are being bullied by someone who, by the sounds of things, has questionable motives.
     
  5. Lucille

    Lucille Registered User

    Sep 10, 2005
    542
    Hi Daisy

    Does your brother-in-law want to 'counter-sign' as a witness or as a joint attorney? In either case it's entirely up to you whether you allow him either of these options and by the sounds of it, that's a big NO NO! So I suppose you could tell me to go forth and multiply. ;) Once you've sorted out the witness, you then need to decide about the CoP and whether to register or not. I haven't for my mum yet and I have used it for various institutions without a problem.

    However, as noelphobic said, if there are elements in the family who have their own interests at heart rather than yours/hubbys, an unregistered EPA might leave you a little exposed to their challenges.

    Speak to your CAB lawyer; he/she will be perfectly able to help you out. And try not to let your bullying bro-in-law intimidate you. It never ceases to amaze me how some can try and take advantage of others at the most difficult times.

    We're all here for you.
     
  6. Helena

    Helena Registered User

    May 24, 2006
    715
    Setting up an EPA is easy as is using it

    Your Brother in Law has absolutely no right whatever to insist on anything

    You are the direct next of kin and its your financial future thats at stake

    Most Banks etc will accept a correctly signed and witnessed EPA as is on forms downloaded from the Guardianship website

    I know because I put my Mothers EPA into action in July and sorted out the entire mess of her finances be it buildinf Soc ,banks, bills ,insurance

    The bank made copies for me and stamped them as official copies

    ONLY if you need to sell shares or the house or your husband becomes totally unable to function do you need to register it with Court of Protection and send the required notifications to relatives

    While they can object they have to prove you are not fit to handle things

    There will be a hearing and you will be able to put your side plus get other family members to back you up

    If your husband is still able to sign things then get everything signed over to you now even if you have to use a solicitor then your BIL has no say whatever
     
  7. DaisyG

    DaisyG Registered User

    Feb 20, 2006
    183
    North West England
    Thanks ....

    Thanks for your replies so far.. much appreciated.


    In answer to your questions....
    BIL wants 'joint' signitures on the EPA , along with me (wife).


    No point talking to his other brothers.... they want the same!!
    It's just that his icky slimeball brother has 'elected' himself to request HE be the one who signs the papers along with me.


    May be a 'slight' possibility that the family say that 'I' am not capable of handling things.... and that several of the brothers want to sign the EPA or similar forms.
    They might use the 'she's suffereing from stress... angle.


    Well, of course I'm suffering from stress !! As anyone knows what it is like to care for someone with AD... added to the AD .... hubby has had MULTIPLE strokes ..... so I HAVE no choice other than to care for his SERVERE PHYSICAL DISABILITIES ... as well as all that goes with AD (vascular).






    We have a joint Mortgage .... Does it matter that husband is the first one on the mortgage papers?



    A current account the we are both joint signiture holders on.

    WOULD THAT MEAN THAT BIL WOULD NOW HAVE ACCESS TO OUR CURRENT ACCOUNT BANK ACCOUNT ..... AND IN EFFECT BE ABLE TO STOP ME BUYING 'THINGS'.
    (NOT EVEN FANCY THINGS/ GIFTS.... JUST GENERAL EVERYDAY SHOPPING... ASDA ETC...)?????



    Next to no savings...
    2 very small accounts in 'individual accounts'
    (They are old old childhood accounts..... and we have never had access to each others accounts).



    When it comes to selling the house. ..... then BIL would have to sign papers....am I right?


    Apart from that I don't see anything else financial that HE may have to deal with.

    Hubby well below retirement age... so NO 'old work pension' claims YET.....



    I AM WELL AWARE THAT 'SOMETHING IS BREWING.... IN THAT THEY WANT ACCESS TO OUR SMALL NEXT EGG OF EQUITY IN OUR HOME.'


    If I don't do the EPA route..... and in the coming months sell our home.... how easy is that ? Hubby OK at the moment....
    Is that better for us?


    That way, any equity would be under my (our) control.




    Is it possible to have the EPA (signed unduress)....


    I'm thinking that when I have my 2 hours off a week (thankyou Crossroads)...
    the FAMILY might 'drop in ' on my husband with said
    CROOK OF A LAWYER ..... and bully him into signing the papers with ME / WIFE not there ?

    Where does the law stand on this?


    How far can I be pressured into agreeing that I am NOT able to deal with things on my own?

    Can we have someone else sign papers... KNOWING that I believe family have 'other ideas'....


    How much do the family REALLY have to be involved?


    For the record...
    I DO NOT TRUST ANY OF THEM.

    IN 'SOME WAY' THEY ALL BREAK THE LAW... NUFF SAID !!


    How I wish I didn't have to deal with all of this **** right now...


    Thanks all....

    Take Care


    DaisyG
     
  8. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    DaisyG

    Please get in touch with the Alzheimer's Society Help Line and ask for their legal expert. She was hugely helpful to me in getting EPA advice when I came to sell our joint home.

    Please don't do anything until you have sought her advice!
     
  9. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    PS why not also call the Court of Protection help line as they have also been of huge help to me in confirming everything I have done.
     
  10. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia


    I totally agree! When my sister was having great difficulty with her ex husband (my BIL) the solicitor explained things to him in no uncertain terms and we didn't hear another peep out of him!!
    With men like these, they "bully" you into submission - it is how they operate. The solicitor won't be bullied, and s/he won't let you be bullied either.
    I think Grannie G is right on target!
    Nell
     
  11. Helena

    Helena Registered User

    May 24, 2006
    715
    I have said it before and I say it again the BIL has no business WHATEVER poking his nose into your affairs and ONLY when you register an EPA does he have to be informed

    get the EPA signed and use it now

    your accounts are joint so you do not have problems and your BIL has no say in anything
     
  12. burnfell

    burnfell Registered User

    Sep 21, 2006
    2
    North Lancashire
    EPA at home

    When I had a similar problem I contacted my solicitor and he sent his clerk round with all the forms for my wife to put her mark on at home. It was done and dusted in twenty minutes.
    You have it seems been recommended a solicitor by the CAB, give them a ring, explain your position, and they will prepare the paperwork and come to you.
    No need to worry, your BIL need never know unless he asks, and your not obliged to tell him.
    If I were you I would tell him to go away or something similar. :D
     
  13. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Our solicitor, admittedly a friend, came to the house to organise the EPA.
     
  14. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Burnfell,
    Just wanted to welcome you to TP.
    Best wishes,
    Helen
     

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