Upset

[Sianey]

Hi,

I think I need a moan well not a moan but to offload. Crying at the moment as I went to see Mam this morning and feel so sad this afternoon. She wanted to go to the shops which sounds easy but is a major trip involved as she is very incontinent. So a trip to the shops involves covering my car seat up with layers and layers, then she had difficulty getting in it, then she's cold, then needs a wee and is confused as to why she doesn't need bread and milk etc and then we need to find a loo, so I changed the subject.

Walking also is very slow due to her edema of her legs and feet but I don't think she grasps how hard it is to go out but remembers going to the shops etc.

So now I feel awful and upset like she's in a prison when I know she is looked after.

I would love to take her out but it's so hard and hard fitting in the time as it isn't nearby her home either.

When Mam started saying about going out other ladies were then asking how do we get out we want to get to the shops, very sad.

Sianey.

 

[jan.s]

Hi Sianey

What a difficult situation you are in, and I totally can understand how hard it is to take mum out.

Would a wheelchair be the answer? Just a thought.

I don't have much experience in this area, but send you hugs, if they help just a little.

J x

 

[Sianey]

The wheelchair is a good idea, I've seen one in Mams room so they must use it sometimes.

I'll have to ask Mam as she sometimes doesn't realise she is as old as she is plus she's quite proud.

I've calmed down a bit now, it's always the same when I've been there, sometimes more guilty feelings than other days, I suppose it's what mood they are in as well.

I seem to spend time tidying and hanging her clothes up and taking her to the loo but next time I go I'll see about taking her straight out. Sometimes you run out of things to say as well in the home, as well as Mam with her make belief stories so a walk with a wheelchair will at least be a deflection from her stories yesterday she thought I'd gone to Dubai I wish.

Sianey

 

[canary]

Siany, you can get folding wheelchairs that will fit in the boot of a car. I borrowed one from the Red Cross to see what it was like. Mum has been quite happy with using the wheelchair. I said nothing, just put it in the boot and then produced it at the other end. She has got used to it now.
Re the incontinence - does she not wear pads? When Im taking mum out I usually get her to go to the loo first and then make sure she has got a clean pad on.
Mum loves going out and I go somewhere where I can push her along and chatter about what we can see. Even a simple trip to the park is enjoyable - doubly so if we can find an ice-cream van

 

[CeliaThePoet]

Could you bring some catalogs to peruse, as a sort of surrogate shopping? Maybe an imaginary excursion would bring some pleasure.

 

[LYN T]

When my late Husband went to a CH I was able to take him out and borrowed a wheelchair from the CH. Perhaps you could phone ahead so your Mum is ready for you-then you won't have to run the gauntlet of others asking to be let out!

Good luck

Lyn T XX

 

[Sianey]

Thanks for your help. The wheelchair in the room is fold up so I'll go Sunday and like you say just say that's what we'll do rather than ask.

Mam wears pads but wees alot due to water pills and seems to go through pads plus you know they love their many cups of tea plus her clothes seem to get wet easy I don't know why so she needs changing a lot.

It's sad how the residents just don't understand why they can't go out on their own especially one who seems to be in due to falls rather than memory.

Sianey