Update

[penga]

Hi all.

Still holding together. After all the nonsense with SIL, OH decided we are taking several steps back (he hates being lied to, so do I, but not my sister). It appears it wasn't respite that they wanted MIL to go too, it was an assessment unit, she scored 4 on the memory test!!! So who has been covering up for who?? Anyway we have been turning the phone off after 21H30 and OH says if they need him they will send the police!
MIL is bad again, does not remember husband, only wants Theo (her much older brother long deceased, he kept the family together after deaths of parents). We have also stopped visiting 3 or 4 times a day, OH says as SIL maintains there is nothing at all wrong with MIL, carers are a total inconvenience etc, so SIL can carry on her own sweet way.
T returned from uni and went to see MIL, said he was an imposter who drank all her tea, he saw her pour it on the carpet!!! T said she has gone downhill since he saw her last weekend in April until begin June and SOMEONE is still in denial.

Regards, try and relax and take what comfort you can out of very trying circumstances.

C.

 

[Onlyme]

Your husband is right, its your SIL who needs help. Is she frightened she will be homeless if MIL goes into care? Could your MIL have used this against her in the past and the information has stuck so she will keep her mum at home come hell or high water?

 

[penga]

No, she doen't believe MIL has dementia. Brief history FIl died in 1999, MIL stayed in their home managinging very well until 2003, then she moved in with OH, me and children
until her legs made it impossible for her to go upstairs (loo downstairs, but no bathroom)
we could not put in a stairlift 200+ year old cottage, so MIL went to sheltered accom, (with a warden), I did frozen meals, and we popped in and out, took MIL shopping, doctors, hair etc. MIL had no visible signs of dementia, just decreasing mobility. SIL lived in her own flat, however, when she retired she took a flat in the same sheltered accommodation and since then the problems have increased three fold. Long coach trips, 3 or 4 a week sometimes, getting back late at night in all weathers, out at the crack of dawn, this is her mother not her BF. SIL has never married (another story), and has neglected friends and other family so now has very little to interest her, except mother!.

Regards

C

 

[jan1962]

dont mean to sound harsh, but i think your SIL needs to get a life of her own instead of thinking of her mother as a best friend. surely she can see that the trip etc are having a detramental tho her health. sounds to me that your SIL selfish!!!!!!!