Hi Everyone, I registered a while ago and have meant to be in touch again sooner. How is everyone. My Ma has AD and is in a Nursing Home in Ireland. My last visit back in February was a good one, as she was a lot perkier & chattier than the previous visit. I try to go across every month. I havent been coping well recently & have been signed off work by my doctor. I get very down at times, remembering how active & giddy my dear mother used to be. I struggle also with the unfairness of it all as my Ma retired back to Ireland in 2002 & was then diagnosed with this awful illness, which has been very rapid. She worked so hard all her life, brought my sister & I up on her own, so it all seems so unjust & unfair now that she is so frail & dependant on others. I love her dearly & its so sad. Iwas just wondering if anyone has any ideas for coping better & ways to look at the situation without always feeling so incredibly down & sad. I only have an Aunt, as there is no communication between my sister & I & my Aunt is not one for talking/sharing her thoughts & feelings. She has never been easy to talk to or very expressive I know everything in life happens for a reason & to teach us lessons, to help us become better, stronger etc but I do struggle often with WHY? Why did this have to happen to such a good, kind , hard working person who never had great joy in her life. I have also struggled with guilt about the worry I caused her growing up,as she was on her own & worried hugely about me. I know this is natural & really unhealthy but I just cant help it sometimes. I also wish Id appreciated her more when she was well & expressed my love for her more. I tell her all the time now & she always says it back, which is magical but still I have these constant regrets. I lived with my Ma in Oxford for many years so we spent the most time with each other, so missing that person plays a huge part as well. Im sorry to sound glum, just wanted to share this & get it off my chest. I look forward to hearing back from anyone & maybe recieving some advice. The only solace i Sometimes feel is that everything is temporary & eventually my Ma will have eternal peace. Warmest wishes, Elizabeth.