Registered User
Sep 22, 2006
Mum has now got leukemia as well as dementia and is not very well, she is on borrowed time, and i have to decide if its best for her to have more hospital treatment or not and its very hard to know whats best, It seems so unfair for her to have this on top of the memory problems, anyone else been in this position and how do you make such a decision?


Registered User
Mar 23, 2008
Hi Memori

My mum has ovarian cancer as well as vascular dementia. As her only child I had to make the decision whether to put her through chemotherapy or not as the consultant said the operation to remove the cancer would be too much for her. Having seen my dad die from cancer after several treatments I decided that we would let nature take its course. To the doctors amazement (and they don't have any answers) she is still with us and does not appear to be suffering. I sometimes wonder if this is due to the dementia as she forgets all the time that she has cancer and in fact gets quite indignant whenever the cancer situation is mentioned by the doctor saying to me"you never told me I had cancer!" Maybe,forgetfulness does have its blessing, but in all honesty I sincerely hope that the cancer will take mum before her dementia reaches its final stages and because of the cancer I treasure each day with her although the dementia doesn't make that easy sometimes!
Life is unfair especially when the person you love is dealt with a double whammy but whatever decision you make,let it be made from your heart, be strong and don't listen to other people telling you what you should do as it's your mum and you know her better than anyone else.
I wish you good luck and love.


Registered User
Sep 22, 2006
Thank you for your reply, I'm an only child too, I had a few tears today but Mum is not improving and I think it is best to let nature take its course like you said, but I am still keeping the options open and will see how things progress, the not eating is a worry and her dreams are taking over from real life but as you say the memory loss can help at times, I sometimes wish I could forget too, all the medical staff have been lovely and very patient with her and me and how all the carers keep a happy face I dont know but God Bless Them and everyone coping with difficult times like this and you Liz X

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