Update re Sitting Service

[Helen33]

The editor from the Crossroads magazine emailed me to ask if she could talk to me. I expect she will ring this afternoon. I am going to mention that I heard about the excellent reputation of Crossroads through Talking Point.

The SW was supposed to ring me today but she didn't so I rang her office. I was told she was in at first and that I'd be put through. Then I was told that she couldn't come to the phone but would ring me back. After several hours I rang back again and was told that she was now working from home. I said I was very concerned and would like to talk to someone about being assigned someone else. The man said he would speak to her personally on the phone and talk through my concerns. The outcome is that my case should go to panel tomorrow but if the Manager feels there aren't enough cases to present then it will definitely be next Thursday. It's a case of just wait and see.

If I don't get the extra hours I won't be able to attend the Carers Support group on Friday because I cannot leave Alan for that length of time any more.

Love

 

[Margarita]

If I don't get the extra hours I won't be able to attend the Carers Support group on Friday because I cannot leave Alan for that length of time any more.

I hope they sort it out . do you mean next Friday?

As I wonder if you could organize a friend or family to sit with Alan while you go ?

I could never attend Carer meeting at it always seen to start around 11am, day care don't arrive till around 10:30 or later I could never make it in time .

Then AZ group started one up at 1pm for to hours,I could make it also in time to get home, for when mum arrived back from day care .

I keep phoning my Social worker today , find out when its all going to the panel , but the line engage

Seeing that your social worker working from home can' you Email her ?

My social worker gave me her work Email . reminding me now I could email social worker, even thought I prefer to talk to her on phone

 

[Norman]

Helen
Which crossroads magazine is the one that you mention?.
I think it must be a local one to you.
Norman

 

[Helen33]

Hello Maggie

Yes I mean this Friday and there is no one else to sit for Alan.
It won't be the end of the world but it will be a shame.

The SW didn't give me her email address and I would much rather deal with these things over the phone.

I will look forward to hearing how you get on with your SW

Love

 

[Helen33]

Hello Norman

It's a London address SE1.

Love

 

[Margarita]

I will look forward to hearing how you get on with your SW

In the past when I have Emailed her, it take a few day before she gets back to me .

unless I Title it " URGENT "

She get back to me the next day .

She show her manger my emails , so like that I get the services faster, like my respite care home dates , or I need her at a meeting on one of mum memory assessments.

 

[Margarita]

The SW didn't give me her email address

The thing about email , its not her own home personal email . Its her work email, that just has her name in front of it, with work @ email .

 

[Helen33]

Hi Maggie

I think I am an old fashioned kinda gal. I am used to responsibility, punctuality, efficiency and reliability. I cannot be doing with this slip-shod way of going about things that the Social Services seem to have. When someone has an appointment for 10 a.m. let's say, then I expect that person to arrive at 10 a.m. I don't think I am unreasonable in expecting that. If I am told someone will call me back on a certain day, then I expect to receive that call. It should be a standard practice which would certainly help people like me to feel more confident in the services that they provide. If they can't do something simple like keep an appointment, how on earth are we expected to trust that they can do something more complicated!!!

This is why I like Crossroads as an agency. I have never had to address any of these issues because they are standard practice.
One of my sitters arrived in a taxi one day and I mentioned it. She said she was worried that she might be 5 minutes late so she got a taxi!!

Oooops I'll just step off my soapbox

Love

 

[sad nell]

totally agree Helen crossroads sitter always punctual and very organised. How are things with your sisters care, positive result i hope love Pam

 

[Helen33]

Hi Pam

I've blogged about my sister's care. In a nutshell I am having to stay very firm about one person being responsible for overseeing my sister's care. The previous system had no one particular person holding responsibility and I have now managed to change this. The Manager though (who is completely incompetent) lacks understanding and insight keeps coming up with ridiculous ideas which, if implemented, would negatively impact my sister's care again.

I think this ought to be in another section on TP though because it is not about dementia and I apologise if I am causing confusion. I'm sure it's just teething problems

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Helen,
This section is titled "Support for people with dementia and their carers". You are a carer of someone with dementia. Whatever is on your mind that you need to talk about is worthy of and needs support. Having your sister being properly taken care of eases your mind so you can now take better care of Alan.

A long-winded way of saying you are in the proper section.

 

[Helen33]

Hi Joanne

you are in the proper section.

Thanks Joanne.

 

[BeckyJan]

Hello Helen:

The thought of any SW sets me in a dither (Mine did not even know what the ADASS document was - its their policy document on CC!! - and she signed our first application ).

At least you have Crossroads on your side and I think the help you get from them is wonderful. It is right to mention the problems with your sister - how else would we know what you are coping with.

Hope you have had a good day. Love Jan

 

[Margarita]

Helen

I Just check Email . I had a Email from Social worker. I was very surprised.

She still not got doctor report & consultant report back yet .

I am seeing doctor next Monday see if his sent it yet. she also said its fine about another nursing home I am going to view sometime next week when I make appointment .

consultant only in Mon, Tues, Wednesday . So I shall be ring them also on monday. So when she gets the report back it all go to the Panel .

She said my yearly respite start again as its April . Did I want to take any this mouth ?. So I have ask for 2 whole weeks anytime this mouth.

I am not that much of a rush, about Panel . But I need to know thinks are moving forward, that I do not get forgotten, lost in the symptom. So I shall make sure I keep on there case . doctor , consultant about the reports.

I want to keep looking around few nursing home , can do that also in the 2 weeks respite.

 

[Helen33]

Morning Maggie

I really like your attitude about dealing with this next step in your life with regard to alternative care for your mum You are on the case but taking it steadily. It is really wonderful that you can do this rather than be having to face a dire emergency like so many of our fellow TPers have to.

I'm not so sure about whether looking for care homes is the best way of using 2 weeks respite though When I first read the words I must admit that I thought of "foreign lands, warmth and sunshine"

Wishing you a really good day Maggie

 

[Margarita]

It is really wonderful that you can do this rather than be having to face a dire emergency like so many of our fellow TPers have

to face a dire emergency

I am living in it, that what I am feeling now . If I do not take it steady mentality I will crack with the sear frustration of having to wait till its all sorted out as I have always been like you responsibility, punctuality, efficiency and reliability, So I expected to be treated like that with the services from Social services, am not getting it . But it does seem to make them get there finger out faster with my Emailing Social worker . Then it did every in the past with Phoning SW.

4 years ago before I arrived back from Gibraltar with mum, I had all the services organized set up for my mother in Gibraltar, also my brother so I could combine working full time out there, looking after both of them out there . I was lucky because my parents brother an I are from there, so mum brother was allowed all the services on there NHS, mum was put on a 3 year waiting list for care home.

But something happen to my daughter who was at university in London she was diagnose with epilepsy.

So that was it, I moved us all back to London.

when a Demetria nurse out hear in UK told me about respite to avoid crises happening in the future I took it . Mum was getting to the stage she would not let me out of her sight.

The brain strain of relocating back to England with brother & mum, siting up all the services for both of them . Just done my head in mentally. I had to learn to compromise with services that are running on all our Tax money, which our under funded over work Social worker who work is 99 percent paper work . I percent left for the they clients .

I could not believe it; social worker rang me this morning. telling me she received report back from consultant. Just waiting on doctor report now, she gave me the date she sent him the letter .
She going to Cope pate , load of what I wrote to her into report that needs to go to this panel, she won't write my choice of nursing care home till I let her know about other nursing home I want to view

I am taking 2 weeks from the 20th April, she can't send mum to respite nursing care home near me as they no Vacancy for respite . They all taken up. So it nursing Demetria home mum went to while ago

When I first read the words I must admit that I thought of "foreign lands, warmth and sunshine

I can't take the stress anymore of organizing a holiday in a foreign land, while I am feeling like this making this transition of mum into nursing Demetria care home,also other issue I am having with me son . It use to help me cope in the past going abroad, but not anymore . As the grass is never greener on the other side, I say that because that is the way I am feeling now .

I feel when mum settle in nursing home . I'll take a holiday of a life time, to some where I have always wanted to go to .

Oh My God I have type a Lot !!!

 

[connie]

I do so admire your attitude to coping with life at present Maggie. You appear to be able (in your mind) to dismiss what no longer works for you and are willing to move forward.

I know you have never had an easy time looking after your dear mum and hope that things work out for you in the future.

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Maggie

I think you are wonderful.
You have cared for your children, your brother and your mother and now it is time to care for you.
Love xx

 

[Margarita]

I just have to make sure, that when I entrust my mother care full time its not in a stage when I can not cope anymore, even if I am feeling like that now, because I know social workers oh yes will put mum into a home , but the thing is I don’t trust social workers, when it come to understanding my mother symptoms choosing the right care home for her. They put mum in any Demetria care home, while they sort all this panel thing out.



SW did look back on my case records, how mum been sent to a respite residential care home which I felt never saw to her care needs, as the symptoms of the dementia change, seem the law in our Local authority changes also happen , mum was sent only to a dementia registered residential home. Now I know mum behavior needs are changing again, so I have to make sure she put in the right care environment for her needs. now I know how the system works there no stopping me .

What help me cope is thinking this time next year mum will be in care home .I will be reading this looking back at this time, wondering how the hell did I cope even with respite care home Oh yes respite care did help

 

[Skye]

the thing is I don’t trust social workers, when it come to understanding my mother symptoms choosing the right care home for her. They put mum in any Demetria care home, while they sort all this panel thing out.

Maggie, you're being so sensible about all this.

You're absolutely right, you don't want your mum to go in as an emergency, they'd just put her where there's a vacancy.

You're taking your time, and weighing up all the options, then when you finally get the go-ahead your mum will go to a place you'll have confidence in.

It's a hard decision to make at any time, but doing it quietly and calmly will produce the best outcome for you all.

Love,