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Update on The week of hell

AbbyGee

Registered User
Nov 26, 2018
416
0
Portsmouth, South Coast
After a tedious and difficult day yesterday, today's been a full on phone call day.

Adult Social Services phoned back. They asked 'What do I want to happen?' but either couldn't or wouldn't say openly what my options were. I wouldn't play the game and be led by what was covertly being suggested, ie - some sort of emergency admission to goodness knows where. I said I wanted a proper review NOW for my OH, both with his meds and his Alz Dem by someone who was fully Dementia trained and experienced, not a cost driven office wallah. Maybe I went a bit OTT but my OH is not a statistic or a cost effective unit to be shifted here there and everywhere.

Ad Soc Serv said they'd follow up with Older Peeps Mental Health who phoned back and after some toing and froing have prescribed Memantine on which I hope to start the OH come Wednesday morning.

Since their contact with Older Peeps MH Team, Adult Soc Servs have now agree to come out to see us next week to do some sort of assessment but where that may leads remains to be seen. It sounded like a box tick excercise.

Additional carer help was also suggested but as self-funders it seems I'll need to advertise on a website, interview, pay insurance etc etc, along with the wage for the self employed carer. Yup - I'm really up for that right now, not! Likewise, I'd need to have a DIY approach for respite care. So basically, untrained little me trying to do a jobbie on which the outcome could be life changing for both of us.

I'm not banking on very much changing in a practical way in the very near future. I want to see if morning Memantine, combined with evening Donepezil and Mirtazapine stabilises my poor old guy's anxiety, aggression, fear and generally unpredictable behavior. THEN it will be the time to consider further care, either in or out of our home.

Moany rant over. Time to crack open a lager and sit back for what will, hopefully, be an uneventful evening. 🙃🙃🙃
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
3,890
0
@AbbeyGee, that sounds a bit a couple of steps forward a couple of steps back. I know you don't want your husband ending up somewhere you don't think is ideal, but I do wonder if a proper assessment after an emergency admission might be the best thing. At the moment everyone seems to be tinkering at the edges of the problem.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
6,768
0
Southampton
the memantine did calm my husband down but it takes about 6 weeks for my husband on full 20mg dose. are they raising it up weekly? the OPMH arent bad and they will refer else where. the social services in my experience tend to twiddle around without being committed to anything. hopefully, something is put in place soon. i found that my husband having capacity the brick wall that stops everything he doesnt want to do. he has vascular so not on donepezil as it hasnt got specific treatment
 

AbbyGee

Registered User
Nov 26, 2018
416
0
Portsmouth, South Coast
@Sarasa Yes 'tinkering at the edges' - a very apt expression.
Having calmed down a bit since all the calls I think what I'd like to happen is that we give the Memantine a fair crack and I can see how he gets on with it. What I mean is I'm the one who can see how things develop with the OH in his own environment, just one change at a time. I'm concerned that too many changes at once will cloud the issue.

Although not the same, even remotely, it's like when I was in IT. The thing NOT to do with a faulty unit was switch off, unplug, change cables, reboot in safe mode, defrag, reinstal progs, change the monitor, do a factory reset etc and see if the problem went away as one would never know which bit of the twiddling made that all important difference. Yes, maybe do these things but one step at a time in a controlled manner.

So - my OH is a carbon based life unit that is failing but a scattergun approach doesn't help identify what does or doesn't help the failing be more humane, gentle, kinder and manageable.
 

AbbyGee

Registered User
Nov 26, 2018
416
0
Portsmouth, South Coast
@jennifer1967 Yes, the Memantine will start at 5mg and the MH team will stay in close contact as the dose is raised (probably weekly) until a comfortable plateau is reached. Doing it that way gives more leeway should the dose need to be increased at a later date.
I have more faith in the MH Team than Adult Social Services (whose initials I now realise are A*S!).
 

AbbyGee

Registered User
Nov 26, 2018
416
0
Portsmouth, South Coast
OMG! If I have to sit through another Andre Rieu DVD I'll explode. It's been four hours now.
But it's not about me, is it? BAH! And I've just ordered another two of the blasted things, plus a Katherine Jenkins concert. Oh well, it helps his happy (as opposed to keeping him happy) then I'll go for it.
When is my turn to have anything that seems like fun, eh? Where did my happy go to?
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,885
0
Oh @AbbyGee you sound so down, you can't go on like this. Four hours of Andre Rieu would have me climbing the walls, it is wonderful music but not for me. Dad liked old westerns and I do mean old, black and white was best and old country and western music was always his choice, drove me nuts.

I wish you a bit of happy time, you deserve it. I think Katherine Jenkins would finish me off.
 

lollyc

Registered User
Sep 9, 2020
566
0
OMG! If I have to sit through another Andre Rieu DVD I'll explode. It's been four hours now.
But it's not about me, is it? BAH! And I've just ordered another two of the blasted things, plus a Katherine Jenkins concert. Oh well, it helps his happy (as opposed to keeping him happy) then I'll go for it.
When is my turn to have anything that seems like fun, eh? Where did my happy go to?
I'm building up a catalogue of "things to do, when I'm allowed some fun"! Unfortunately, only pipe dreams at the moment, but one day...
Not sure I could stick Andre Rieu or Katherine Jenkins (no offence, each to his own) - at least Mum's happy is Foyle's War and Frost, which I don't mind, but I could now almost speak every episode word for word.
 

Jessy82

Registered User
Mar 15, 2021
82
0
Mum loves Andre Rieu to, itx the only thing that lifts her spirits when she's down, there's about six concerts on Amazon prime. To be honest to me it's a godsend, I get a couple of hours break while she sits and watches it, I rarely watch it with her,but we sing tunes from it when I'm trying to get her on the loo or showered.