Update on my Mum

[Boboozie]

Mum has now been in her care home for a month now. I am trying to "go with the flow" but I am still finding it a struggle. All my Mum does is sleep. When I go to see her she hardly says a word to me. Even when she is awake she sometimes pretends she is asleep so she does not have to answer me. The Carers are wonderful and try to encourage her to go to Activities or to the lounge but she always says no. There is a lovely Park which is just over the road from her home which I have tried a few times to persuade her to go but its a definite "No I do not want to"
I'm not really sure why Mum is sleeping most of the time. She has had blood tests which we are waiting for the results. I want my Mum to enjoy the rest of her life which I really thought she would in this Care Home but all Mum wants to do is lie down and sleep. I keep hoping she will Perk up but I do not know anymore.
I really do try to not let it get me down but I want my Mum back even if its just for a little while.

 

[nellbelles]

@Boboozie I think that at a certain stage, sleep is a self protection mode, the PWD doesn’t have to interact with real life, with situations that they can no longer comprehend, just my thoughts as I watched my husband sleep more and more.

 

[Tin]

It is all so sad and you can only hope that the sleep is giving her some comforting dreams.

 

[Hazara8]

Mum has now been in her care home for a month now. I am trying to "go with the flow" but I am still finding it a struggle. All my Mum does is sleep. When I go to see her she hardly says a word to me. Even when she is awake she sometimes pretends she is asleep so she does not have to answer me. The Carers are wonderful and try to encourage her to go to Activities or to the lounge but she always says no. There is a lovely Park which is just over the road from her home which I have tried a few times to persuade her to go but its a definite "No I do not want to"
I'm not really sure why Mum is sleeping most of the time. She has had blood tests which we are waiting for the results. I want my Mum to enjoy the rest of her life which I really thought she would in this Care Home but all Mum wants to do is lie down and sleep. I keep hoping she will Perk up but I do not know anymore.
I really do try to not let it get me down but I want my Mum back even if its just for a little while.

Sleep we know is essential, yet it remains something of a mystery for all that. You find that many residents in the Care Home will be sleeping for some time during the day. This can be due to differing causes - depression, a change in sleep patterns, medications, or something else. But with dementia, it is felt more likely that the brain is perhaps striving to 'repair' itself during sleep and this might be evident in cases whereby some kind of trial has taken place. Certainly , it often helps if residents are 'active' during the day, which affords night time sleep. It might be worthwhile to ask the doctor for an opinion, just to determine any underlying cause. But sleeping throughout the day is not uncommon for many dementia residents. When sleeping becomes more consistent or pronounced, i.e. remaining in bed for much longer than normal, then this can point to another stage, say, in Alzheimer's. But each case is different.

 

[Boboozie]

@Boboozie I think that at a certain stage, sleep is a self protection mode, the PWD doesn’t have to interact with real life, with situations that they can no longer comprehend, just my thoughts as I watched my husband sleep more and more.

Thank you. You could be right. x

 

[Boboozie]

Sleep we know is essential, yet it remains something of a mystery for all that. You find that many residents in the Care Home will be sleeping for some time during the day. This can be due to differing causes - depression, a change in sleep patterns, medications, or something else. But with dementia, it is felt more likely that the brain is perhaps striving to 'repair' itself during sleep and this might be evident in cases whereby some kind of trial has taken place. Certainly , it often helps if residents are 'active' during the day, which affords night time sleep. It might be worthwhile to ask the doctor for an opinion, just to determine any underlying cause. But sleeping throughout the day is not uncommon for many dementia residents. When sleeping becomes more consistent or pronounced, i.e. remaining in bed for much longer than normal, then this can point to another stage, say, in Alzheimer's. But each case is different.

Thank you x

 

[Boboozie]

It is all so sad and you can only hope that the sleep is giving her some comforting dreams.

Thank you x

 

[Babymare01]

Hello there. My mum sleeps most of time now. Sometimes but rarely her eyes will be open but she rarely acknowledges me. It is hard to deal with but I simply sit there holding and stroking her hand talking to her or just singing (poor mum) to her. The staff assure me mum knows im there so I try and take comfort in that. I tell her I love her and what a fantastic mum she is

I would give anything to have 1 more conversation with my mum but sadly I know that wont happen

xx

 

[Jezzer]

Hello @Babymare01
Your sad but lovely post has brought me to tears. My mum is sleeping much more now and whilst not quite at the stage of your dear mum, I know what you are experiencing is not too far ahead. Isn't this just an awful and cruel disease? When mum is alert we do chat but of course much of what she says makes no sense. No matter; I step into her world and it seems to bring her comfort to chat. I so understand your wish to have one last proper conversation. My mum was always my rock and when my partner died 18 years ago she pulled me through. I tell her how much I love her and that she is a wonderful mum but I don't know if it registers. I take some comfort from the fact I said this to her regularly when she was well. I'm sure your mum knows you are there and hears you. The love between mum and child - whatever age we are - never goes away and never will. Bless you both.

 

[Boboozie]

Hello @Babymare01
Your sad but lovely post has brought me to tears. My mum is sleeping much more now and whilst not quite at the stage of your dear mum, I know what you are experiencing is not too far ahead. Isn't this just an awful and cruel disease? When mum is alert we do chat but of course much of what she says makes no sense. No matter; I step into her world and it seems to bring her comfort to chat. I so understand your wish to have one last proper conversation. My mum was always my rock and when my partner died 18 years ago she pulled me through. I tell her how much I love her and that she is a wonderful mum but I don't know if it registers. I take some comfort from the fact I said this to her regularly when she was well. I'm sure your mum knows you are there and hears you. The love between mum and child - whatever age we are - never goes away and never will. Bless you both.

Thank you for your kind words x

 

[Boboozie]

Hello there. My mum sleeps most of time now. Sometimes but rarely her eyes will be open but she rarely acknowledges me. It is hard to deal with but I simply sit there holding and stroking her hand talking to her or just singing (poor mum) to her. The staff assure me mum knows im there so I try and take comfort in that. I tell her I love her and what a fantastic mum she is

I would give anything to have 1 more conversation with my mum but sadly I know that wont happen

xx

xxx

 

[Leeds]

Mum has now been in her care home for a month now. I am trying to "go with the flow" but I am still finding it a struggle. All my Mum does is sleep. When I go to see her she hardly says a word to me. Even when she is awake she sometimes pretends she is asleep so she does not have to answer me. The Carers are wonderful and try to encourage her to go to Activities or to the lounge but she always says no. There is a lovely Park which is just over the road from her home which I have tried a few times to persuade her to go but its a definite "No I do not want to"
I'm not really sure why Mum is sleeping most of the time. She has had blood tests which we are waiting for the results. I want my Mum to enjoy the rest of her life which I really thought she would in this Care Home but all Mum wants to do is lie down and sleep. I keep hoping she will Perk up but I do not know anymore.
I really do try to not let it get me down but I want my Mum back even if its just for a little while.

Dad has been in a care home for the last 2 years, he had vascular dementia. He sleeps all day and night and only gets off his bed for mealtime. We try to engage with him but he rarely speaks more than a few words. I think it is his way of coping with his hallucinations and anxiety. X

 

[Jezzer]

Hi @Leeds
I think you are probably right. It's so painful to watch someone you love dearly suffer like this isn't it? I'd like to think there is at least some relief from the hallucinations, voices and anxiety and if sleep brings that relief then so be it. When mum is sleeping and not having a "bad" day, she looks so peaceful and often has a little smile on her face. I pray she is having a lovely dream. I would just like to take this awful illness away from her. I know I'm biased because she's my mum, but she's only shown kindness and brought happiness to others all her life and I just think why is this happening to her. I'm sure there are thousands of voices out there asking the same question. Warm thoughts to your dear Dad and you and your family.