Update on my Mum and Dad .....

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by fearful fiona, Oct 5, 2007.

  1. fearful fiona

    fearful fiona Registered User

    Apr 19, 2007
    723
    London
    Dear TP friends,

    Well, my Mum and Dad have now been in the care home for five days and each day has brought a little bit of hope.

    From the terrors of Monday when I took them in, they seem to be getting used to the routine. I took some more clothes and ornaments etc. in for them this evening (without seeing them) and managed to take their cases away (they kept packing to go home).

    So far I have only seen them in the company of other residents. On Wednesday there was some entertainment and I joined them for that for a little while and tomorrow there is a harvest celebration and I will pop in for that. I am still a little hesitant about seeing them on their own. Has anyone had this experience? I feel that while they are still unsettled it is better to "dilute" my visits with other people around.

    Anyway, I am keeping my fingers crossed that they do settle in, it is such a nice place with lovely devoted staff, I really want them to have some quality time together for as long as they have got each other.

    Now I am just glad that this awful week is nearly over. Just the funeral of my uncle next week to face.

    Happy weekend everyone....

    Much love,
     
  2. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Nothing I can say about your situation. Just sending [[[[[[HUGS]]]]]]]]]
    your way Fiona. Take care.
     
  3. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Fiona,

    Well done for getting through the first five days. I think you're doing the right thing, seeing them when they're with other residents. It will help to loosen their dependence on you, and feel more a part of the home. Well thought out!

    At least they've got over the 'two days'! Let's hope they gradually settle in. I'll be thinking of you next week.

    Love,
     
  4. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Hi Fiona.there may come a time when they will ask why you are there!settling seemes to be going wel.you have to make your own timetable for visiting,based on what you see and feel in the first few weeks.love elainex
     
  5. fearful fiona

    fearful fiona Registered User

    Apr 19, 2007
    723
    London
    Hello Hazel,

    Thank you for your encouragement. I shall be thinking of you too and hoping that John is settling in well. Please keep us updated on how he and you are doing. We have both had a difficult week, haven't we?
     
  6. fearful fiona

    fearful fiona Registered User

    Apr 19, 2007
    723
    London
    Hello Elaine,

    Thanks to you too. In fact one of the nuns suggested that I don't have a regular date/time for visiting and just pop in which will make a nice surprise for my parents and they won't be disappointed if I can't make a particular "regular" visit.
     
  7. nemesisis

    nemesisis Registered User

    May 25, 2006
    100
    fi bless you you have done the right thing your mum and dad are supported by people who are trained in support and it seems that the care home provides all the extra stimulation and help that we all look for in choosing a place for our loved ones to be looked after.
     
  8. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Dear Fiona,
    I also hope that your parents settle quickly and without fuss. I can understand your hesitation about been alone with them at this point.
    Dedicated staff make such a huge difference in making these care places a "HOME". I hope everything goes well for you and your parents. Regards Taffy.
     
  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,871
    Kent
    Dear Fiona,
    Congratulations.
    All your plans and hard work for your parents have paid off. The time that filled you with dread and fear has passed so smoothly, apart from the first blip :rolleyes:
    I`m so pleased for you.
    Love xx
     
  10. fearful fiona

    fearful fiona Registered User

    Apr 19, 2007
    723
    London
    Thank you everyone for your kind replies. It has been a really tough week and I'm glad it is drawing to a close. After the harvest celebration at the home, I am seeing my cousin who has come down from the North of England, because it is my uncle's funeral on Friday. She and I are going to take some time out and enjoy ourselves, do some shopping and have an Indian meal tonight (we both love that). It will be nice to have a short break.

    Have a good weekend everyone.
     
  11. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Dear Fiona, enjoy your break, especially the retail therapy! You deserve it!

    Love,
     
  12. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,146
    Toronto, Canada
    Dear Fiona,
    The worst is now over. Your parents sound like they are settling in. The advice about not having regular day/time visits is very good. I do the same simply because of our schedules and it works very well for me. Also, I get to know more of the staff and get to keep an eye on things.

    Relax, enjoy your Indian meal (hmmm, good thought for tonight) and enjoy your shopping. Go for shoes & matching bag - that always cheers me up.
     
  13. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,871
    Kent
    Joanne??? Are you forgetting something???:rolleyes:

    Big Sister is watching you.
     
  14. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,146
    Toronto, Canada
    Big Sister may be watching but she cannot stop me:D :D.

    Besides, I think Indian food is very healthy. I usually stick to vegetarian options, not because I'm vegetarian, au contraire I'm a happy carnivore, but if I ever had to become vegetarian, eating Indian would be the way to go.

    I suspect I'll be making cream of rutabaga soup instead. I have a new recipe & a couple of rutabagas in the fridge. Actually, rutabaga is the American term, I believe Brits call them swedes and here in Canada we always refer to them as turnips. What I mean are the purple-skinned peachy yellowy-fleshed coloured ones.
     
  15. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,871
    Kent
    Rutabaga !!!

    What a wonderful word. Where does it come from? It`s far more exciting than boring swede and turnip, and I bet it even tastes better.

    It will be rutabaga chez nous from now on.
     
  16. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,146
    Toronto, Canada
    Rutabaga

    I have no idea where the word comes from but I'll research it for you.

    BTW, it's pronounced ROOT - AH - BAY - GAH. Just so you know, because I'm sure that was a burning question in your mind.
     
  17. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    I think Scots call swedes "turnip" as well.

    My favourite root vegetable with a roast meal, and the water the swedes have been boiled in makes the perfect smooth gravy. :D

    Rutabaga? I've never heard that name used before now. :)
     
  18. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    I thought it was one of those de luxe caravans that film stars use!:D Always fancied one!

    Yes, bruce, the yellow ones are turnips here, and the white ones (not at all common here) are white turnips.
     
  19. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,146
    Toronto, Canada
    As I said earlier, rutabaga is the American name. I always know them as turnips and yes, the white one are referred to as white turnips. I have a friend whose husband is from England and an ardent gardener. He offered us fresh turnips from his garden and I leapt on them. Unfortunately, he meant the English ones (white). My friend said to me "Yes, they aren't what I think of as turnips either."
     
  20. fearful fiona

    fearful fiona Registered User

    Apr 19, 2007
    723
    London
    One week on .....

    Dear All,

    The conversation about turnips has kept me much amused this week. I don't think my cousin and I had turnips with our Indian meal, but it was great fun and good to catch up.

    Well, Mum and Dad are still in the home, but still thinking they are going home imminently. I am gradually taking in more of their stuff to make their rooms look more like home.

    So far I've only made a couple of "official" visits and when there was entertainment on (although I have popped in under cover to deliver more clothes etc.) but I'm taking the bit between the teeth and going to have lunch with them in the dining room on Wednesday and then I'll play Scrabble with my Mum in the lounge, so my Dad can have a snooze. There should be other people around, so perhaps Mum and I can get chatting to some of them which will make my getaway easier.

    I don't know - "under cover activities" - "getaway" - am I turning into a criminal? I think I probably am.

    Love to all,
     

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