Hello all
I've not been here for a while, just been through a dreadfully stressful time with Dad which has had a reasonably happy ending now.
Dad has mixed dementia and collapsed and was rushed into A&E with me at his side back in July. We were told his kidney function was really low and they were so concerned about him they wouldn't let him home. Anyway he was kept in for two weeks, his kidney function improved dramatically as soon as he was on saline and supervised drinking. The hospital doctor told me Dad had been severely dehydrated through carers not supervising drinking properly. I couldn't be there all the time because I travel for work and there is no one else. The social worker at hospital wanted to send him home on his existing care package, but I objected and threatened to sue Adult Social Care so he was sent to the care home where he had been in respite previously for a detailed evidence based assessment of care needs. His GP and dementia nurse both advised me to refuse to provide practical care for Dad anymore because of my deteriorating health due to stress and the fact that Dad really needed care beyond what he could receive at home. Anyway.....after four weeks assessment, it was proved without doubt that he could not return home so he has been offered a permanent social services bed in this lovely care home where he seems well, settled and content.
I thought I would be relieved but I have just been unwell. The day after I was told he was getting a permanent place I had some sort of turn. I got up to go to work and started shaking from head to toe and couldn't leave the house. Since then I have been really poorly, aching all over, anxious, fearful of leaving the house, chest pains, palpitations, can't breathe sometimes. My GP has checked me over with tests and says I am okay. I don't want to see my Dad, either and it upsets me. I force myself to go to see him and we sit together and he doesn't speak to me much, although he seems happy enough. Yesterday I got to the care home and sat in the car outside. I couldn't go in and I drove home. I feel terrible; has anyone else had similar problems? What's the matter with me? I fought for well over a year to get him the care he needs, so I should be happy he's safe and looked after!
Jane
I've not been here for a while, just been through a dreadfully stressful time with Dad which has had a reasonably happy ending now.
Dad has mixed dementia and collapsed and was rushed into A&E with me at his side back in July. We were told his kidney function was really low and they were so concerned about him they wouldn't let him home. Anyway he was kept in for two weeks, his kidney function improved dramatically as soon as he was on saline and supervised drinking. The hospital doctor told me Dad had been severely dehydrated through carers not supervising drinking properly. I couldn't be there all the time because I travel for work and there is no one else. The social worker at hospital wanted to send him home on his existing care package, but I objected and threatened to sue Adult Social Care so he was sent to the care home where he had been in respite previously for a detailed evidence based assessment of care needs. His GP and dementia nurse both advised me to refuse to provide practical care for Dad anymore because of my deteriorating health due to stress and the fact that Dad really needed care beyond what he could receive at home. Anyway.....after four weeks assessment, it was proved without doubt that he could not return home so he has been offered a permanent social services bed in this lovely care home where he seems well, settled and content.
I thought I would be relieved but I have just been unwell. The day after I was told he was getting a permanent place I had some sort of turn. I got up to go to work and started shaking from head to toe and couldn't leave the house. Since then I have been really poorly, aching all over, anxious, fearful of leaving the house, chest pains, palpitations, can't breathe sometimes. My GP has checked me over with tests and says I am okay. I don't want to see my Dad, either and it upsets me. I force myself to go to see him and we sit together and he doesn't speak to me much, although he seems happy enough. Yesterday I got to the care home and sat in the car outside. I couldn't go in and I drove home. I feel terrible; has anyone else had similar problems? What's the matter with me? I fought for well over a year to get him the care he needs, so I should be happy he's safe and looked after!
Jane