1. sheilarees53

    sheilarees53 Registered User

    Apr 11, 2006
    37
    Beckenham Kent
    Went in to see mum this afternoon and again she was in bed. I held her hand and spoke to her but I'm not sure if she knew I was there or not. She looked so tiny and frail.

    I went downstairs to speak to the sister on duty and she said that mum is not eating and is quite poorly. She asked if we want mum taken to hospital again if she gets worse. My brothers and I have decided that we want mum kept comfortable but no treatment to prolong her life. Mum has no quality of life any longer and we don't want her kept alive for the sake of it.

    I'm sorry if our attitude upsets some of you but we went through this with dad 7 1/2 years ago and we know that mum would not want to linger on like this for a long time.

    I have told the home that I want to be informed if mum gets any worse at any time of the day or night. I am back to work tomorrow which I am not looking forward to at all.

    Thank you to everyone who sent me messages of support and kindness, it means a lot to know that you are all there. It is quite ironic, but I am a Samaritan and was on duty at lunchtime today listening to other peoples problems. It actually helps to take my mind of my own.

    Love to you all Sheila xxx
     
  2. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,438
    Dear Sheila

    While we obviously can't speak for everyone, you will find that most of us here understand your decision totally. One of our posters who went through this had a doctor who had described any advanced efforts at this time as prolonging death rather than prolonging life and I think that is very true.
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,882
    Kent
    I know what you mean, Sheila. :)

    Do not feel you need to explain yourself here. You know your mother best and you know what she would want. To cling to life, for the sake, helps no-one, and your decision, as next of kin, would be respected by the majority.

    Take care

    Love xx
     
  4. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    7,788
    East Midlands
    Hello Sheila,
    I'd like to say that I understand your attitude completely.
    Your mum is comfortable and cared for and there does come a time when we have to let go.
    It's a sad part of life-but it is a part of life that we can't escape.
    You are giving a lot to others-please don't forget about you.

    Love Gigi x
     
  5. janetruth

    janetruth Registered User

    Mar 20, 2007
    563
    nuneaton
    Sheila,

    I agree with you, I too am distracted by others, who are in a much worse predicament than myself.
    Though it is Mum who has the ILLNESS, it is the family who sre the sufferers.

    You are right to do what you think is right, at the time.
    We all look for permission and your Mum would give you that, as you know her feelings and wishes.

    Life and time are precious gifts and both should be respected, it is your Mums life and it is now, as you say, the time.
    I hope I can be so brave, if faced with the same situation.

    God Bless you all

    Love Janetruth x
     
  6. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Sheila, I too think you've made the right decision.

    If there was a possibility of a cure, we'd all do everything we could to give our loved ones a chance. Sadly, we know that with AD there is no possibility of cure, and to prolong the agony is pointless cruelty IMHO.

    I wish you and your mum peace.

    Love,
     
  7. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia


    Thank you Hazel. You have said it exactly right.

    Dear Sheila, we are on your side in this. Letting your Mum go will be very hard for you but a blessing for her. Try to look at it as your final "gift" to her.

    Thinking of you at this sad and difficult time.
     
  8. clarethebear

    clarethebear Registered User

    Oct 16, 2007
    197
    manchester, uk
    Hi Sheila

    You and your brother have my understanding on the decision you have made with regards to your mother. My family made the same decision not so long ago.

    It is good to help other people and let their problems take over your own. However I feel you need to be taking care of yourself at the moment.

    My thoughts are with both you and your brother at this time. Please keep us up dated with your mother.

    Take Care
    Clare
     
  9. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Hi Sheila,
    it's a descision that is not made lightly, and i feel for you and your family.I do think that the way you have handled this is exemplary to us all.Hard as it is for you and your family,you have chosen to share it with us on TP.Thankyou
    elainex
     
  10. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    3,725
    North Derbyshire
    Hi Sheila

    I admire your brave and humane decision.

    Hope it all is bearable.

    Love

    Margaret
     

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