Update on Mum


Registered User
Jan 10, 2008
The CPA meeting was held yesterday to discuss the future. Mum has a mixture of vascular dementia and Alzheimers and the doctors were firmly of the view that the only practical care package would be for her to be placed in a suitable residential care home. They feel that she has adapted so well to the environment in the unit that she will settle quite happily. I have to agree. Still it is hard. I feel such rage and sadness that this horrible illness has "stolen" and will continue to steal my mum from me. Perhaps the only consolation I can take is that mum was quite positive when interviewed by the care manager about "finding a little place not too far away from my daughter so that she can visit".

My thanks go to the wonderful lady from the Alzheimers Society who has supported me throughout, came to the meeting with me and is helping me draw up a short list of suitable places which she has offered to visit with me. Her help and support has been absolutely invaluable.


Registered User
Sep 26, 2007
Hi Robert

I understand your frustrations at this cruel illness. Hopefully your Mum will settle into the new environment you choose which will ease your concerns a little. It's good that you have support from the Alzheimer's Society.

I think we are all thankful for the existence of the Alzheimer's Society. Talking point in particular is a real help to me. I'm in Scotland, and I am so glad that the charity Alzheimer Scotland exists. They also make a big difference to people's lives.

Take care,



Registered User
Jan 20, 2008
Hello Robert
I too know just how you feel - we all do on this forum. I come here to share my worries and sometimes even my joys, because there are times when my mum is "my mum" again.

My mum went into residential care in January and I thought she would never settle, but she has. It's not always rosy but at the moment we are in calm water. I know it won't last - this hideous disease won't allow that, but I am making the most of it.

The home she is in is lovely but every time I visit, which is often, my stomach lurches as I go up to her floor. Will she be happy today? Will she be stroppy? The relief if she greets me with a smile is enormous.

So if your mum does go into a home Robert - it's not the end, it might be the beginning of a more postive time, for a while at least.

I hope all goes well for you and your mum. Thank goodness for this forum and the Alzheimers Society.

Kind regards