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Update on Lionel

fearful fiona

Registered User
Apr 19, 2007
723
73
London
Dear Connie,

My thoughts are with you. Stable, calm and comfortable sounds good and Lionel seems to be so well cared for and has your great love, with all this he is a lucky man. And of course you both have great support and affection from TP friends.

Hope you enjoyed the G&T.
 

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
Frinton-on-Sea
Another day - a new man

Following a very fraught week I got ready to visit Lionel this morning.

Feeling very 'off colour' myself I thought I would just check on him and maybe come home and go to bed.

New man - certainly more alert - brighter, and seemed pleased to see me. (Never quite sure about this, as he responds to one or two of the carers in the same way)

Gave him his medication, no problem. Shaved him, cut his hair, massaged his arms and legs. He ate a good (for him) lunch, and then slept for the afternoon. He was still asleep when I crept away at 4.30.

Me, now I feel fine. Psychosomatic, I guess. Thanks for all your kind thoughts.
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
connie said:
New man - certainly more alert - brighter, and seemed pleased to see me. ......Me, now I feel fine
I can't say how pleased I am. [er... well I guess I just sort of did, but you know what I mean]

A good day is worth more than gold.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,323
Kent
Good news Connie, certainly much more pleasant for you.

Is there the remotest chance anyone can think of a reason for this improvement, or is it just `one of those things`.

Love xx
 

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
Frinton-on-Sea
Latest on Lionel

Firstly, thank god for TP........Lionel had his first urinary tract infection last week, but thanks to previous advice and information, all is now well. (fingers crossed)

He was hallucinating, calling for his mother & sister (both long gone). Not eating or drinking.

Care home called out the doctor who came and prescribed antibotics, and some diazipame to calm him down. I was with him for the next 8 hours and he was still in terrible distress. Asked for the doctor to be called again (10pm) and he came.

Nothing he could do but monitor Lionel. However I insisted that he gave Lionel something as he seemed to be in pain. He gave him a pethadine injection, but was concerned about the level of drugs in Lionel system.

As Lionel is in a care home, not nursing, usual proceedure would be to be sent to hospital. Did not want this, so I stayed with Lionel (in his room) for 36 hours, to monitor him. Well I know him better than anyone else.

Alls well now, he is recovering, and coming back to his usual self.
If I had not had previous knowledge of UTI's I would have been more worried.
The doctors were surprised just how much I could tell them............but they don't deal with dementia every day do they.

Thanks to everyone on TP for sharing their experiences, good and bad. It all helps.
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
What a wonder you are. So well done.

Glad to hear things are easing a bit. Now take care of yourself for a bit. Pamper yourself!
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,323
Kent
Oh Connie, It`s so good when you can apply gained knowledge successfully. Well done you. Now you can rest easy knowing you`ve done so well.

Love xx
 

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
5,379
NW England
Well done Connie, and pleased to know Lionel's improved. Must say I echo your sentiments entirely about TP - I try and store up every snippet of info I can .... or at least to recall that I've read something somewhere so as and when situations come up with mum I know there's already a wealth of information available.....

Forearmed and all that!!!!

Well done again - might have to raise a glass to you in the Tea Room later!:)

Love, Karen, x
 

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
Frinton-on-Sea
Local 'Hospice' book shop

Feeling slightly guilty today.

Went to the local 'hospice' book shop, for books, obviously

Why? needed something to leave in the Beach Hut to read............I am so, so lonely when I am there. Surrounded by holiday makers, but miss him "my Lionel"

Why (2)? need something to read when I spend my time with Lionel.
I spend every 3rd day with him......unless he needs me more.....but the days are so long...........he does not take the same comfort now in a 'hand massage' or a 'pedicure'

Indeed, sometimes it is "p....off' or something similar.

So I sit and read......and hold his hands, when he will let me.

What I am saying is: I feel alone without him
I feel alone with him (sometimes)

It is a long road we tread.............but how must it be for them..............
I can tell you how I feel, they cannot.

I can find reasons
They cannot

Shall stop moaning now

............compared to my Lionel....what do I have to moan about........absolutely 'nothing'
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
connie said:
I feel alone without him
I feel alone with him (sometimes)
I can empathise! Somehow I feel that the times of feeling lonely when we are with our loved one is more difficult.

When we are away from them, there is still that thought - "well, I'll see them again soon".

But when we are there, but they appear not to be, it is daunting.
connie said:
............compared to my Lionel....what do I have to moan about........absolutely 'nothing'
A life destroyed, dreams destroyed, a future destroyed, the pain of only being able to do what we will always think of as "too little", the guilt of "why them", the fact of the world going on without us, the things unsaid or undone in the past or done badly when together then that we regret,.... I could go on.

I'd be thinking that moaning is not only on the menu, but the dish of the day for many of us.

Take care. A moan from our Connie is really such a rare thing - your caring is magnificent. :)
 

DeborahBlythe

Registered User
Dec 1, 2006
9,222
Connie, if there is someone who doesn't deserve to feel guilty, it's you. You are doing your utmost for Lionel. Your recent long vigil is a credit to you but do try and get some rest and recreation. Visiting little and often is OK, breaks, little or long are OK. Anything is OK if it will help you to maintain your stamina. So sorry you are feeling lonely. Hope you feel restored very soon. Love Deborah
 

cris

Registered User
Aug 23, 2006
326
70
Chelmsford
Connie, I can imagine how you feel. When Susan is with me, - my shadow - she can be irritating, but when she is with my daughter for a few hours I am wondering what is happening, when she will be back. A small poem, I think may apply to you. Just do what you feel you are happy with. That's what Lionel
would want.
God Bless You
cris

Smile my heart smile.
You will see loneliness
Nowhere.

(Sri Chinmoy)​
 
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Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,323
Kent
connie said:
What I am saying is: I feel alone without him
I feel alone with him (sometimes)'
Dear Connie,

I have not yet had the experience of feeling alone without him, but I too often feel alone with him.

You have been caring for so much longer than I have, I feel I am following in your footsteps.

I hope when I reach the stage you`re at, I will have half your courage.

Love xx
 

fearful fiona

Registered User
Apr 19, 2007
723
73
London
Dear Connie,

You are always such an inspiration.

Please don't think you are moaning, just sharing what you feel with all your TP friends who understand.

My heart goes out to you and Lionel.

Much love,
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
connie said:
What I am saying is: I feel alone without him
I feel alone with him (sometimes)
Dear Connie, how well I know that feeling. John is still here, I can still hold his hand and cuddle him, but there is no conversation, I can't share a joke with him, he doesn't even appreciate our lovely garden that we took such pride in making, only four years ago.

You're not moaning, Connie, you're expressing your feeling, how much you miss the company of Lionel. Your poem is so poignant.

Read your books -- loneliness is so much harder to bear in places where you have spent such happy times together. Have you tried talking books? At least they give the illusion that someone is talking to you.

And talk to us. TP is the best answer to loneliness I've found.

Love and hugs,