Update on Jean


Registered User
Mar 15, 2006
Morecambe, UK
Hi everyone,

Well we took the frozen meals and a new microwave up to Jean last night - she had no clue what the microwave was even after we explained it twice, but then I didn't really expect her to. I tried to tell her social worker that we had done that today but she was unavailable so have to try getting her tomorrow. The meals are to be microwaved by her home help at lunch times next week so she doesn't really need to know what it is.

Jean's sister (the one that is dying) is currently in the care centre that Jean attends on Thursdays - not that Jean would know anything about that cos nobody is telling her what is going on!! No wonder she is worrying herself sick and looks terrible :mad: And no she hasn't been told and forgotten, I spoke to her other sister Nancy and she said 'don't tell her where Joan is'!! I know Joan is sick and needs rest but keeping Jean in the dark is gonna make her sicker than she already is!!!! :mad: So her social worker is going to make sure she gets to visit her while at day care tomorrow (not sure it is the best thing but can't go on letting her worry without due cause).

I am not sleeping well, what with gav having interviews and stressing over Jean being left to her own devices next week when Nancy swans off to Blackpool on holiday. And yes I know she is entitled to a break I just wish she would stop going on about us putting Jean in a home and yes I know I have to look at homes but I don't have the strength this week and she is just not helping.

It doesn't help that Jean's communication skills are getting worse. I used to be able to talk to her if I spoke very loudly and clearly and looked directly at her as she could read my lips (won't wear her hearing aid) but now she either doesn't understand the words I am saying after she reads my lips or her sight has deteriorated and she can't read lips any more. Either way it makes communicating very difficult these days.

Sorry to go on so much.

I hope we can get through this week and next without too many crises :rolleyes:



Registered User
May 14, 2006
Dear Blue Gremlin,
I wonder if there are any befriending schemes in your area, which might be run by Mind, Age Concern or the Alzheimer's group. If there was one more person popping in during the week it would help a little. When my Mum was at home, she had an emergency call system, which she wore around her neck and she could press a red button if she fell over or needed help quickly. Would Jean be capable of operating such a device? If not, maybe she shouldn't be left on her own, but would be safer in sheltered accommodation or a care home.
We got all the disability aids we could find, and I was visiting Mum every day and ringing her to check she'd taken her medication twice a day. It was really wearing me out, but in the end Mum asked to go into a home. She was very happy there and was content to sit quietly in her own large room or socialize with the others. The problems only began after her fall and move to a nursing home. Her accident could have been more serious if she had not received help straight away.
Even if was practical to bring Jean home to live with you, she'd still be on her own while everyone went to work or went out shopping. Sometimes it is better to act before there is a crisis, if the problems can't be overcome easily. You do seem to be very worried about Jean and it must be difficult for you to relax.


Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
near London
Blue Gremlin said:
she had no clue what the microwave was even after we explained it twice, but then I didn't really expect her to
yes, as you have realised, even the simplest thing cannot be taken aboard.

I used to get really upset and unable to understand why Jan couldn't take in the simplest of explanations. Then the penny dropped.

The loss of the ability to learn basic things was the first major challenge of her dementia.