Update on Dad


Registered User
Nov 30, 2005
Thought I'd post again, not been on here for a while - not sure why. Think its because I have more to deal with now so I haven't got any energy left to read about it when I get home

Dad has been in a care home now for 9 months. I won't go into all the emotions associated with that because I think I could write a book on it. Needless to say - I wasn't happy with the decision but had to accept it.

Since he's been in he's now incontinent, doubly incontinent, speech and walking has gone downhill and I think its safe to say he's a lot more vacant - and a lot less emotional ( he often cried at the beginning). He can't eat by himself now, or wash - or do any personal care really. :( He needs a wheelchair and a bunch of other aids now.

Then you've got ALL the other issues to deal with about the care home - trying to make sure you get the best care possible. But it does feel like a constant battle, when really a battle is the last thing you need. But at the end of the day he needs the care. Oh and one other big issue - the other residents. In fact I think its all a bit of a nightmare - lets just hope dad has got to the point where he doesn't know he's living in the nightmare.

Just hoping decline doesn't continue. 9 months isn't long for all this to happen in is it?
Anyway thats enough of my rant for now before I start to think about it too much.:(


Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
leigh lancashire
Dear Sandy,what type of home is your dad in?I am asking because i am concerned about your statement about other residents being a nightmare!I do not know the facts of your dads admission to the home and his welfare needs at the time.please post back.If your dad is mis-placed for his needs then this is an issue that you must address.love elainex


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
trying to make sure you get the best care possible.
he has got the best care possible , his got you .

sorry to read the decline your father has had in care home

wishing you peace and serenity xx
Last edited:

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Dear Sandy.

I`m so sorry your father has deteriorated so quickly since he went in the care home. There`s no way of anticipating that but all you can know is the reason he went in in the first place.

And that is because he was unable to care for himself, and you were unable to provide the 24/7 care he needed.

You are doing your bit now by ensuring he gets the best possible care in the home.

Try not to be too disturbed by the other residents. They have all been contributors to society during their lifetimes, mothers, fathers, colleagues, relatives and friends. It is unlikely your father is as disturbed by them as you are.

I know how hard it is for you, I had the same feelings when my mother was in a home. But unfortunately, needs must.

Take care

Love xx

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