Hi everyone
things have moved on a pace since I first joined the forum. Mum was eventually diagnosed with Alzheimer's in January this year (less than 2 years after being told - much to our shock - that she didn't have dementia) Things became very tricky during lockdown and mum had to be moved into a care home in April because of a safeguarding issue. As they were unable to cope with some of her behaviours she's been moved to another home (under the guise of it being closer to where dad lives) Dad isn't aware of her challenging behaviour as we were concerned about his mental well being and that if he knew he would "spring" her from care and take her back home! She's now on a two week trial at her new place so fingers crossed she settles in and can remain there. I managed to visit her last weekend and I was saddened to see just how much her disease has progressed. She didn't have any idea who I was - which was a sad for me but also a big relief because I've been concerned about her lucidity and how it must be if she understands what's happening to her. Having seen her I think that's very unlikely.
As I live on the other side of the country (and I don't drive) I get very few opportunities to visit but want to have some sort of contact with mum. Speaking on the phone isn't particularly helpful - I don't believe she knows who's she's speaking with - and she forgets the conversation almost as soon as she's had it. (I've also had to refrain from calling the home because my dad rings off the hook until he gets through so I think that's quite enough for them to cope with!)
I have been writing short letters to her every 10 days or so but to be honest I'm struggling with what to write - and seeing how she has declined I'm not convinced she will be able to read or understand them! Today I've taken delivery of some pretty little notelets (so I only have limited space to fill!) I read somewhere that I should avoid topics like - remember when we did this that or the other - so can anyone help with some ideas of what I can write to mum about. I did think that I might send her a photograph of us when we visited her (I think we have one where we took a selfie with our masks briefly dropped from our faces) and just write briefly that it was lovely to see her and how well she looked - but please - any suggestions would be very gratefully recieved.
Inula x
things have moved on a pace since I first joined the forum. Mum was eventually diagnosed with Alzheimer's in January this year (less than 2 years after being told - much to our shock - that she didn't have dementia) Things became very tricky during lockdown and mum had to be moved into a care home in April because of a safeguarding issue. As they were unable to cope with some of her behaviours she's been moved to another home (under the guise of it being closer to where dad lives) Dad isn't aware of her challenging behaviour as we were concerned about his mental well being and that if he knew he would "spring" her from care and take her back home! She's now on a two week trial at her new place so fingers crossed she settles in and can remain there. I managed to visit her last weekend and I was saddened to see just how much her disease has progressed. She didn't have any idea who I was - which was a sad for me but also a big relief because I've been concerned about her lucidity and how it must be if she understands what's happening to her. Having seen her I think that's very unlikely.
As I live on the other side of the country (and I don't drive) I get very few opportunities to visit but want to have some sort of contact with mum. Speaking on the phone isn't particularly helpful - I don't believe she knows who's she's speaking with - and she forgets the conversation almost as soon as she's had it. (I've also had to refrain from calling the home because my dad rings off the hook until he gets through so I think that's quite enough for them to cope with!)
I have been writing short letters to her every 10 days or so but to be honest I'm struggling with what to write - and seeing how she has declined I'm not convinced she will be able to read or understand them! Today I've taken delivery of some pretty little notelets (so I only have limited space to fill!) I read somewhere that I should avoid topics like - remember when we did this that or the other - so can anyone help with some ideas of what I can write to mum about. I did think that I might send her a photograph of us when we visited her (I think we have one where we took a selfie with our masks briefly dropped from our faces) and just write briefly that it was lovely to see her and how well she looked - but please - any suggestions would be very gratefully recieved.
Inula x