1. Expert Q&A: Living well as a carer - Thurs 29 August, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of the person you care for will often come before your own. You may experience a range of difficult emotions and you may not have the time to do all the things you need to do. Caring can have a big impact on both your mental and physical health, as well as your overall wellbeing.

    Angelo, our Knowledge Officer (Wellbeing) is our expert on this topic. He will be here to answer your questions on Thursday 29 August between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. christmas

    christmas Registered User

    Apr 27, 2014
    205
    Leicestershire
    Hi just thought I would tell you what happen with me, I had a melt down on Thursday ,Peter got me so down I phoned the doctor told him what he was like and he more or less told me he couldn't help because he was healthy, so I phoned my health care lady who said she had taken me of her books because I hadn't been in touch I told her I had phone and left massages but she said she didn't get them even peters lady from the clinic had but she still said she hadn't had any ,so she told me to phone and get back with them so I did but the man who I spoke to was no help so I shouted at him and but the phone down , a Thursday night my care lady phoned me and said they had been on to her and to see if I was ok , by then I had calmed down , Friday morning a lady from the social care rang and she is coming to see me on Tuesday , I told her I need help now I can't do it alone anymore ,I have been looking after Peter nearly seven years alone now and he is getting bad , but I know if I get carers in he won't let them touch him , the lady from the clinic came today to wash and dress him to get him used to the cares coming but he was having none of it kept asking her where I was , I felt awful after I put the phone down on the man but he was not helping sorry going on again Christmas
     
  2. AlsoConfused

    AlsoConfused Registered User

    Sep 17, 2010
    1,958
    You've got the ball rolling again and flagged up that you desperately need help ... well done you! There's at least a chance now that things will get at least a bit better.

    Please try to take whatever help and support you're offered, even if you don't think it'll actually be useful. You want to encourage "the helpers" to keep trying and to learn for themselves more about what helps and what doesn't.
     
  3. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,740
    Yorkshire
    hi christmas
    well done for being so determined and making all those calls - I'm sorry they weren't initially helpful - however, do notice that when you did let your feelings show and shouted and put the phone down that DID get their attention - sometimes words aren't enough as you can still sound in control and OK when you are not
    so - in future don't be afraid to let it all out, be it by shouting or weeping - someone needs to see and hear that YOU need support
    AlsoConfused has a good point too - I know this sounds awful but have as much help in as you can, then step back and let them get on with it, indeed let them find ways to help or fail because that is then evidence of just how much support the two of you need
    I hope the meeting on Tuesday goes well - if you have a chance, jot down on paper everything you can think of that's difficult for you and that's causing you concerns; be brutally honest, tell it like it is - then hand the list to the visitor so that you know you haven't forgotten anything important (I'm brilliant at getting closing the door after appointments and only then realising how much I forgot to mention)
    I'm glad you've got someone's ear now - have a right good session with them
    best wishes to you
     
  4. christmas

    christmas Registered User

    Apr 27, 2014
    205
    Leicestershire
    Thank you I couldn't have done it without all your help , I really do need help and I will let them do anything they say if he won't have it will just keep trying x hugs to you all Christmas x
     
  5. elizabeth hc

    elizabeth hc Registered User

    Oct 31, 2012
    49
    Isn,t it awful that you have to be in such a state before anyone takes any notice. Well done you for getting things moving. You need to look after yourself as well. Sometimes I think we forget that. Take care xx
     

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