up and down and as if couldn't get worse...

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by SteveS, Feb 21, 2008.

  1. SteveS

    SteveS Registered User

    Jun 20, 2007
    Altrincham, cheshire
    hi all,
    not posted for a while, but keep in with reading posts, to keep it all real.

    Dad has been his home since November, no problems with any more pnuemonia, and considering he nearly died twice, his health is better physically. Mentally his dementia is worsening, predictable I know but his Va D has worsened and he has developed a "new" language. This language, apart from the moments of lucidness is totally made up and intersperses his conversation moments. He talks some sense often saying he can't remember, then finishes it off with something like "compatatakapan, compikitiki..." and so on - then he laughs says, i don't know what that means, closes his eyes and sleeps for a minute or two!
    It's light releif when we are there and he smiles a lot, but can't make sense of anything. When we leave he goes quiet and then shouts rambling rubbish constantly. The matron at the home called the doctor to come next week - looking at some sedation as it has transpired he shouts at night too - but is calm with company - is it just frustration? Probably! now we as a family have an added bonus to our troubles, Mum has some sort of Cancer diagnosed and has just undergone a biopsy on her liver to determine a prognosis...it never rains!
    My Brother, who had handled it all too well (seemingly) about Dad, has been in denial about his condition, and cannot face Dad - my brother seems to be having some sort of breakdownn over it all - I think Mum will be the last straw...

    sorry about the diatribe, it feels better writing it all down, and it feels more secure to be able to talk online to enable me to cope too. My immediate family is really supportive and my wife is gem, work have been good too, but business must run, and i need t work to escape from the real world, not dote all the time and mope.
  2. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Dear Steve

    It never rains but it pours! What a lot of problems you have to deal with!

    I hope your dad settles down in the home. My mum talked complete gibberish after her stroke, and it was so hard to deal with, because she thought she was making sense, and expected sensible answers. Whereas John never did, he just grsdually lost his language altogether. It's hard to deal with, however it happens.

    I hope your mum's biopsy result turns out to be not too serious. She must be terrified at the moment.

    As for your brother, there's not much to say. He can't help it if he can't cope with the situation, but it's just another worry for you.

    You're having to be so strong for all of them, and you're very lucky to have such a supportive wife.

    Love to all of you,
  3. BeverleyY

    BeverleyY Registered User

    Jan 29, 2008
    Ashford, Kent
    Hi Steve

    Definately sounds like it is pouring down.

    All you can do, is be there for your parents.

    Best wishes, and fingers crossed for your Mum.

    Beverley x
  4. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    Dear Steve,
    Worrying over one parent is hard but two is very distressing.
    When the speach comes out what I call gooly gooch with Peter, I answer with something like, a cup of tea would be lovely and that seems to be accepted by him.

    I do hope that you will soon be able to post some good news about your Mum.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
    Best wishes
  5. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006

    My mother since something happen at day center is having lots of moments of lucidness , its like she back to her old self. I find that strange and amazing really as before, all this happen . she would say a few same words . other time could not remember and would come out with nursery rhymes, when ask something by my daughter so would sing a nursery rhymes, also like your father she could close her eyes sleep for a few min, after singing half the nursery rhyme .

    Sorry to read about what happening with your mother .
  6. rhallacroz

    rhallacroz Registered User

    Sep 24, 2007
    Dear Steve
    How traumatic for you. Just when we think it can;t get any worse them it does. But somehow somewhere you will find the strength to carry on. It is amazing that any of us cope with dementia and its terrible effect on families and children. But this is the journey of life and we must carry on regardless. Thank goodness for TP it really helps at the end of the day to log on and find like minded people like ourselves. We are all on similar paths I am sure some of us have the T shirts as they say and some of us choose not to wear it. Maybe your brother is a little further down the line of acceptance it all takes time. But I am sure we all arrive at the same point and realize that we can;t alter the course of the journey all we can do is enjoy the good moments and accept the lows and hope that there are better times ahead. I hope your mum is ok.
    Thinking of you Steve and your family

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