Registered User
Jun 15, 2008
hi my sister and i are having a problem with our mum we tink she has dementia but our dad is in denial dosent wan to know they are both in there 70s. mum has problems with her short term memory she gets agresive she loses consentration you have just finished a conversation and she hasent taken any of it in.. she wants to go out allthe time dad drives hes healthy but tired all the time as he has to take her out in the car to some garden center or church or another town. we need some help as we dont know how to aprotch them about this. we think she knows something is wrong, her mother went the same way but she took herself to bed and would not get out. we would apreciat any advice thank you.... anzan


Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
Dear anzan, welcome to Talking Point.

I can only suggest you write a letter to your mum's doctor, expressing your concerns, followed up by a phone call.

Maybe then the G.P. could have them both into the surgery for a check up, and hopefully start the ball rolling.

I do understand why your dad is in denial, but the sooner things are recognised the sooner help can be given.

Hopefully some other member will be along soon, to add to the advice. In the meantime I will tranfer your thread to the main forum.


Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
Hi anzan and welcome to Talking Point (TP)

I think it is very difficult to approach parents about this: they are used to being a united front (or at least appearing to be) so even raising the subject with the "well" parent can seem like an attack. However, It has to be done for both of them. Sadly, it's not uncommon for the person who isn't well to require so much assistance and entertainment that the parent who starts out as the well one actually ends up sicker.

The constant need to be "out and doing" is fairly common - it seems to go hand in hand with the inability to entertain oneself. Perhaps the TV or reading is no longer attractive and/or understandable so the only way of relieving boredom seems to be this.