1. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    A tough week …. but one in which mum received (some will know the story behind it) an exquisite and humungously large bouquet of flowers …..

    I hoped she’d get great pleasure from them …..and indeed she has …. but in a way I never expected ….

    Instead of simply ‘enjoying’ … today she has systematically been ‘sorting’ them and rearranging them …. …. by colour … by variety …. by size ….

    What fool was I to arrange them in vases to simply be looked at and admired?

    Maybe, it’s helped me to understand a little more of her world and her needs ….. and appreciate what she CAN do!!!!

    Well done, mum ….!!!!!

    Karen, x
     
  2. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #2 Margarita, Feb 25, 2007
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2007
    Now I can only imagine what happen!! ?


    I am not one of them that do not know the story behind it , why your mother got flowers , but am pleased to read that the flowers gave her so much pleasure
     
  3. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    {{{{karen}}}} not sure whether to laugh or cry

    hugs

    Áine
     
  4. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Hi Margarita - wasn't meaning to sound secretive .... just trying to save everyone from the next chapter of 'The epic saga of Karen and what the bank did next'!!!!
    (Yes they were from the bank manager by way of apology!)

    Just got back from mum's and she seems settled now there is only one type of flower in each vase ..... never knew she had so many vases!!!!

    Aine - I haven't stopped smiling about it! It's even tickled me that the local florist the bank used is called 'Ooops a daisy' - now what does that say about them?:D

    More seriously, it's really made me stop and think about trying to find 'things' for mum to do to give her a sense of purpose ......

    Love, Karen, x
     
  5. Kayla

    Kayla Registered User

    May 14, 2006
    621
    Kent
    Dear Karen,
    I was amused by your post as I could just imagine your Mum sorting out all her flowers and thoroughly enjoying herself. I wonder if we underestimate what people can actually do, because they do seem to develop an alternative form of logic.
    My Mum loves her flowers and I try to make sure she always has one or two pot plants in flower and some cut flowers as well if possible. Yesterday she said that she needed some new fresh flowers.
    At Christmas, I bought her a poinsettia which died very quickly and I thought it had got too dry. However I discovered that Mum had been overwatering it and it had become waterlogged. I think I shall have to get Mum a patio pot so she can do a spot of gardening in the summer!
    Kayla
     
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,658
    Kent
    Hi Karen,
    Could it be possible your mum was trying to put some order back into her life.
    Love Sylvia x
     
  7. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Hi Sylvia - exactly how I saw it ...... anything 'fussy' is out ... she needs 'structure' and 'order' .......

    Like not going to the supermarket together went months ago ..... too much confusion and choice for her ...... so I do all her shopping now...... BUT .....

    Converse to that .... am I taking over TOO much?

    Can't believe how a bouquet of flowers and mum's reaction to it could be so thought provoking!!!!!

    Forgive me, but I'm still revelling in that fact she COULD sort and resort and show some logic ....... even if it wasn't MY logic of the beautifully arranged ......:)

    Dunno, it's felt like I finally got some insight into HER world ...... embarrassed it's taken me this long ..... thrilled I've been gifted the chance to hopefully do things to share it with her ...... shown me I sometimes 'railroad' her in the name of 'caring' .....

    Kayla, brilliant! Last Mother's Day I did the 'flowers' thing ........ tubs and pots etc ..... bought them, planted them ... presented as 'fait accompli' ... as her gift THIS year ..... I think she needs more of the 'doing' bits and let her have more 'ownership' ....... anyone any cheep and cheeful ideas on how to create an area of 'raised garden'?

    Love, Karen, x
     
  8. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    1,213
    south lanarkshire
    Hi
    Sorry no cheap and cheerful ideas of gardening what so ever.
    I have no gardening skills, although have a big garden. Easiest is best is my motto.

    Flowers in a bunch or in a bouquet is a no no for my Mum, have tried fresh flowers in vases, but found Mum trying to make sandwiches of slices of bread and flowers and telling Dad to eat them as she had spent hours cooking this meal, sprinkled with tea from ripped opened tea bags As I don't know which flowers are harmful, it is safer with no flowers

    Alfjess
     
  9. Kayla

    Kayla Registered User

    May 14, 2006
    621
    Kent
    Dear Karen,
    A few years ago I was given a huge patio pot and we planted it with a variety of flowers and later on some spring bulbs. The advantage of large pots is that they don't dry out so quickly and you can always just empty the pot of soil and start again.
    We have problems with weeds because living in the countryside we are next to fields and trees. Shrubs, tubs, lawn and a few borders helps to make the garden more manageable. We have a paddock in the back garden and three quarters of an acre of land altogether, so it all has a "natural" look.
    Kayla
     
  10. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,418
    Do you mean like a raised pot? Or something more structural?

    Absolutely the cheapest "pot" idea (and I grow all sorts of things in these) is a black laundry basket from the dollar store (insert pound store here) lined with a black rubbish bag, with some holes poked in for drainage. Each "pot" cost me a maximum of a couple of dollars plus the cost of the potting compost (although for that I make my own).
     
  11. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    1,213
    south lanarkshire
    Hi Kalya

    Just what my garden is like NATURALY WILD.
    No time, No knowledge but would love to have the time to learn

    Alfjess
     
  12. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Jennifer - I'm thinking structural ... mum has loads of pots front back and side of the house ... but she can't bend down to 'tend' them .... we're also in the process of getting in an 'approved' gardener for mowing the lawns and general pruning etc ... (we just can't keep up the physical aspect of running two houses and gardens even though each are very modest) ..... I'm trying to find a way that she can be 'involved' herself ... a few 'raised' pots may be enough .... but I'm thinking 'border' - about 2 foot by 20? It has a flat path alongside ....

    I'm thinking 'sensory garden' in her little patio area ....

    Gosh, this blinkin' bouquet has a lot to answer for!!!!!:D

    Love, Karen, x
     
  13. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Alfjess, bless! You know if you renamed that 'wild look' as 'cottage garden' it would add value????? :D Thanks for the wry smile about the tea bags .... I rather think I leave mum in charge of any part of the garden she can manage, that's probably what she'll choose to plant!!!!:D

    Love, Karen, x
     
  14. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    hey ........ go gently with yourself! your mum is lucky to have someone who has the ability to re-think things and keep doing their best for her.
     
  15. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,418
    #15 jenniferpa, Feb 25, 2007
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2007
    I'll give it some thought, but I must ask you Karen: are you sure you're not making a rod for your own back? Even though gardening can be fairly "instant" now, it's still work to maintain it, and It's possible that your mother may not remain interested. My mother was an avid, avid, gardener, but now... incurious would be a description.

    Jennifer
     
  16. May

    May Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005
    627
    Yorkshire
    Karen

    Breeze blocks... I once made a border in a backyard that was all tarmac with these. They look OK too if you 'render' and paint them, just a thought:)
     
  17. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    9,222
    #17 DeborahBlythe, Feb 26, 2007
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2007
    Unjumbling ( what a great word!) the flowers

    When my mum was in one of her former homes a truly stupendous huge bouquet arrived for her, but we couldn't work out who the senders, ' Bill and Mary' were. My mum was absolutely thrilled, tearful and deeply moved but I began to smell a rat. I made a few enquiries and found that there was another resident in the home who shared the same first name as my mum with friends named Bill and Mary. The flowers were meant for her, not my mum. :eek: This is going to sound awful but I couldn't see what to do except when my mum was down at supper, I nipped into her room grabbed the flowers from out of the vase and ran round to the other woman's room to deliver them. Thanks to my mum's dementia, by the time she got back from supper, she had forgotten that the flowers had ever been delivered. :( Oh Goodness, now I realise I should have left the flowers with my mum and pretended they hadn't been for the other person? I do buy my mum flowers regularly but that bouquet must have broken someone's bank account.

    Now she is in the NH, and spends most of her time in her room so it's a question of finding small pot plants and fresh flowers when I can remember. This is awful to say too, but there is one carer with a watering mania, I keep finding an African Violet standing waist deep in water and gradually rotting away. I don't know who the carer is so I have mentioned it as diplomatically as I can, however now the other plants are drowning! I feel so mean complaining about the watering, but it's driving me mad!:eek:

    Yesterday I took a bowl of hyacinths over to my mum's chair so that she could smell the fragrance. I hadn't realised they too were standing in a saucer of water which dropped over my mother as I held it closer to her, causing her to squeal and pull faces. No wonder she thinks I'm awful!

    Karen, Jennifer's point about enthusiasms waning is sadly all too true. My mum was an avid gardener in her younger days too, but she seemed to lose all interest once she was in formal care, even though there were opportunities for her to have her own 'patch'. Still, might be good to keep trying as long as you think she is getting something out of it and as long as you are able to keep up the effort too.
     
  18. Tina

    Tina Registered User

    May 19, 2006
    420
    Karen,
    no suggestions re gardening, but your original post reminded me of Aunty Jean - she loved flowers, and whenever anyone brought her any, she spent a long time arranging them and got endless pleasure out of them. I had to stop sending her flowers at some point because her confusion prevented her from coping with the arrangements and they were simply another thing she couldn't handle at a certain stage.
    Glad your mum got so much out of the bouquet. Hope she'll be able to for a long time yet.
    Love, Tina
     
  19. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Just wanted to say thanks all for all the ideas and sentiments and advice etc etc on this thread ... it was meant to be a 'little uplifting' post .... certainly you have all given me much food for thought .... (including for my own garden and sanity !!!!!:D )

    Just to put you all on warning ... my 'official' five page-A4 typed letter of complaint to the bank has been sent off today - they send more flowers I really will need appropriate and constructive ideas as to what to do with them!!!!! :D (polite answers on a postcard stuff!!)

    Love, all, K, x
     
  20. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    9,222
    What you should do...

    ....if they send more flowers, a) you should take a petal or two to congratulate yourself with, and b) please post a pic on the TP site so that we can all be inspired to campaign about the banks. c) You should front a big campaign to embarrass the banking world about their practices. It would be great to bring a few banks to their knees sending out floral apologies to people with AD all over the UK. Actually, now I come to think of it, you should get a bit of press coverage via the AS team on this, maybe write to that BBC programme ' Watchdog'? .... Well you did ask!
    x
     

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