Unhappy tonight


Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
Maudlin? Or what

As some of you know I am off on holiday. Whoopee…except?

What does this mean. To some ‘I am off to enjoy myself and why wouldn’t I

To others: I am ‘gallivanting about, with ‘no thought of Lionel’

For those here on TP, “you know where I am at”……………….how do I explain it to the rest of society.

DEMENTIA: to know it, you have to experience it.
Outside of this is another world..

Excuse me, I am only off on hols. I will be back.
Why do we have to dig ourselves out of the mire


Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
near London
Oh Connie, I know so well what you mean.

Please try and have a great time on your holiday and if you can figure the appropriate hieroglyphic symbols, carve the TP web address on whatever seems the most appropriate bit of masonry....;)

and...... please take a gang of photographs!

fearful fiona

Registered User
Apr 19, 2007
Dear Connie,

Have a great time and I don't think you have to explain anything to the rest of society. I'm sure all of us at TP know how much you have earned your holiday, so take lots of pictures to show us.

"No thought of Lionel" - I don't think so somehow. I'm sure he will be constantly in your thoughts, the two of you have something very special.

Much love

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Dear Connie.

You don`t have to explain yourself to anyone. You know who you are and that`s all that`s important.

If anyone sits in judgement of you, society or not, tell them to take a running jump.

Let them be the ones in the mire.

Have a wonderful holiday.

Love xx


Registered User
Jul 2, 2006
Newport, Gwent
Hi Connie

You have a great holiday, gosh you deserve it.

For those who feel there should be an explaination, , well, they are not worth a thought because if they knew and understood, well need I say more.


Cate xxx


Registered User
Jul 10, 2006
south lanarkshire
Hi Connie

Hope you have a great holiday, you deserve it and hope you come back refreshed and energised to enable you to care for lionel as you have been. "WONDERFULLY"



Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
Lancs, England
Dear Connie, I echo everything fiona says and have a lovely time, nobody deserves it more.

I can't imagine who could be so insensitive to say that you are not giving a thought for Lionel. Have they offered to look after him?

Hope the weather's lovely

Love Aileen :cool: :cool:


Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
No one with any sense at all would think you were gallivanting around! You deserve your holiday and I am sure Lionel would feel so too. Go - enjoy yourself.
Best wishes Jan


Registered User
Oct 9, 2003
Birmingham Hades
Hi Connie
how well I know that feeling!!!
I haven't had a holiday yet,but I feel guilty when I do something that makes be a littebit less unhappy,if you know what I mean.
Hurry back I miss you


Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
leigh lancashire
Dear Connie.I am "off on holiday" on Thursday.The elders (being my elder brothers and sister) have full responsibility!whats the betting i get a call?its hard to be able to break free,but we must!love elaine


Registered User
Apr 15, 2007
Dear Connie,
Don't fret about what others think it is what you feel that counts and all on TP know your love and devotion for Lionel no one would question that. I hope you have a safe and wonderful holiday. Take Care. Taffy.


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
For those here on TP, “you know where I am at”……………….how do I explain it to the rest of society.

you don't , because its your life and you only get one . tell them that if you like , me I would be telling them nothing , letting them stew in they sad judgmental life [ smiling nicely sending them some positive energy ]

Does society live in your shoes are they going to they with you when you get back from holiday and visit your husband every day [ I don't think so ] give yourself a break about worrying about other people , enjoy you time away as much as you want and can , your feel so much more positive for going and that is all that matter , because it help you carry on with life in general also caring for your husband.

hope you take some photo to share on TP :)
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Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
To others: I am ‘gallivanting about, with ‘no thought of Lionel’

For those here on TP, “you know where I am at”……………….how do I explain it to the rest of society.
Connie, love, 'no thought of Lionel'?

Anyone who knows you knows that that is not possible. And anyone who doesn't understand just doesn't deserve your concern.

You have devoted your life to Lionel since you met him, but you deserve a break, and you need a break.

Go and enjoy your holiday, don't worry about Lionel, he'll be well cared for, as you know, and certainly don't worry about small-minded people who have no idea about living with dementia.

Have a great time, I'll miss you.



Registered User
Mar 23, 2006
Have a lovely holiday...I too know the feeling of being judged for daring to have a life of my own!! The break will do you good and anyone who really knows you will know how much you deserve it.

take care Judith


Registered User
Mar 6, 2007
Wigan, Lancs
Hi Connie,

If you feel that you have to say to these people anything more than 'go take a running jump' :D you might explain that you are not a machine, nor super-human and that in order to continue caring for Lionel you need to take care of yourself once in a while.

I am not in your situation as I am not the main carer, but having had a weekend away in Berlin with friends where the subject of dementia never came up, I can't believe the difference it has made to me. Just that space even for a few days helps to get things back in perspective.

I came back to work only to be dragged in to a meeting and told that I was heading for a nervous breakdown! Now the week before that might have been true but despite all the problems still being there when I got back (and worse as my secretary has been signed off with stress and depression :( ) I feel in a much better frame of mind to handle things.

I also realised that everyone including my Dad could manage perfectly well without me. :)

So have a wonderful time, of course you will think about Lionel, but you know that he is being well cared for and you need to take care of yourself.


Registered User
Dec 1, 2006
Dear Connie, you are far too dignified, I think to exactly 'gallivant', but you CERTAINLY should have a darn good break if you can manage it. It will be such a boost for you, and ultimately, Lionel will benefit from that: the new refreshed, restored and recreated Connie.


Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
Such resoundingly good sense from all the TPers! Only what we have come to expect from this great group, I know!

Connie dear, have a FANTASTIC time - enjoy, relax, even GALLIVANT if it takes your fancy!! ;) Above all, feel NO guilt!!

This is about refreshing yourself for the ongoing times ahead. Gosh, even the troops in the trenches got leave sometimes!! :)

Have a GREAT time!!