unhappy days

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
0
WEST SUSSEX
Brilliant. This is what I think it's often all about. Distraction from anything which might cause distress, even if it means talking about something ridiculous for most of the time.

If it's not possible to have a logical, meaningful conversation with your loved one then I'd much rather have a good-humoured nonsensical one. Better than no communication or a load more stress and upset.

Logical, meaningful conversation - what's that? I didn't have one of those for nearly two years with my husband but a lot of "fun" conversations about a variety of subjects that normally wouldn't have crossed my mind. Now I look back and I am able to smile when I remember how I used to scratch my brain for a reasonable answer to some of the weird imaginations posed by my man. The hard answers were to queries regarding houses, cars, old friends and parents. I wish you well.
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
0
Essex
I fully agree that its far better to talk nonsense than have everyone get upset by trying to hold a sensible conversation!

Today we talked about birthdays as mine is coming up soon. After a whole lot of nonsense mum then shocked me when I asked her if she could remember the date I was born and she was spot on with her answer! A little spark of brightness that made my day.

Those little sparks are worth more than the biggest shining diamond in the world, aren't they. :) How lovely that your Mum remembered the birthday of her own precious jewel.
 

Caroleca

Registered User
Jan 11, 2014
331
0
Ontario canada
It really does take some practice to not ask questions. It takes time to realize that it doesn't work....but it is difficult. However, once you get the hang of it, it makes a HUGE difference to how the visit goes. Distraction gets easier once you understand why it is necessary. I always find singing or talking about moms favourite music it a great topic of conversation. I will start a song she knows and when she joins in...I say..."wow ma, you are always the best at figuring songs out". That makes her smile.

When at fist I used to ask questions, she would turn up her brow and get anxious...you do learn ...but it may take some time...

Carole
 

sinkhole

Registered User
Jan 28, 2015
273
0
I have to admit, I actually quite like talking nonsense. I often say things to people which probably come across as gibberish to them.

To me, it's a carefully constructed obscure or surreal humorous comment on something they've said or done, but most of the time they look at me in a puzzled way.

Now I can say the same sort of things to my aunt and she's not fazed at all. In fact, she usually agrees with me!

If only that aspect of dementia was the worst part of it all, it might not seem such a bad disease.
 

esmeralda

Registered User
Nov 27, 2014
3,083
0
Devon
Your surreal, humorous comments sound wonderful sinkhole. The posts on here show such a lot of love, patience and insight, I just find them so moving and instructive. Thanks everyone.
 

sleepless

Registered User
Feb 19, 2010
3,223
0
The Sweet North
My husband can chatter away for ages, none of it making any sense, and with many made-up words. I just go along with it, agreeing in the right places etc.
But every now and then he has a really good laugh at something he's said, and I find that so wonderful that I have no trouble genuinely laughing with him -- for a few moments, seeing that lovely face light up with laughter, I have my husband back again.
 

Grey Lad

Registered User
Sep 12, 2014
5,736
0
North East Lincs
My husband can chatter away for ages, none of it making any sense, and with many made-up words. I just go along with it, agreeing in the right places etc.
But every now and then he has a really good laugh at something he's said, and I find that so wonderful that I have no trouble genuinely laughing with him -- for a few moments, seeing that lovely face light up with laughter, I have my husband back again.
My brother has advanced Alzheimer's. Whenever any of us go to visit him he tells us he is still at work making Jaguar cars. He tells us of any trouble he has had with the workforce and how he has sorted 'that lot over there ' out. His medication seems to have stopped him pestering the females in the Home but he still walks around the corridors with Nan on a good day. I walk with her some days and listen to her conversation with fascination but she can resort to Anglo Saxon on occasions and some don't take too kindly to her choice words.
 

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