Uncle Tom....


Registered User
Apr 9, 2005
Since posting last time i followed advice which i was given and was feeling really positive until...
Started gertting abusive phone calls from the prodigal son.....Regarding Registration of EPA. Reported this to B.T and my own solicitor asked them to make log.

Even though i have EPA i have not head anything from the guardianship office. No doubt he will try to block it.... im not sure what his rights are..Re:Uncle Toms care....He Has decided to tell the hospital that he (as next of kin) want to be informed of everything that happens....
He has not been to visit since the last episode but there is time ...
Back to the important matters anyway...
Went to see uncle tom today and he seems to have gone down hill rapidly he found it difficult to speak to me he was talking very slowly and his movements were even slower.... i got the impression that it was too much like hard work.
he kept falling asleep.
He has stopped eating completley but drinks ok...
Can they leave him without food ?

I have spoken to the sister who told me Uncle Tom had a fall this early hours and was distressed.. (but she never thought it relevant to contact anyone)
I could have been there within half an hour if only to offer reassurance to Uncle Tom..... :mad:
She then went on to say that her nor S/S thought Uncle Tom was well so.... assesment would have to be posponed AGAIN ... :confused:
They are sending him for another chest xray and hes got to have more blood tests.. AGAIN...

Think ive got...Banging head against a brick wall syndrome....

Sorry to be whinging again but without the support and more importantly the HONEST advice i have recieved from this site i would be completley lost...

so........ many many thanks.....

Danni x


Registered User
Dec 11, 2003
Tully, Qld, Australia
Dear Danni,

This sounds like a really bad scene to me. How would you feel about fronting the Manager of the Care Home directly? I think I'd probably be doing that at this stage.



Registered User
Apr 9, 2005

Thanks Jude
Uncle Tom is still on what they called the discharge ward of the hospital
He was sent there last week and i was told he was being discharged to a EMI home...I have spoken to the sister who says until Tom is medicaly fit he cant be assessed OR discharged...
So i asked " why but him on discharge ward" ? and was told that when he was transfered to the discharge ward he was fit to be assesed or discharged but they now suspect another chest infection.
Spoke to social services and asked why it has taken so long for assesment and why didnt they act quicker in situations where they know the patient could only be well (ish) for possibly a week or 2 without anti-biotics then chest prob's kick in again. Only to be told that its all part of the system and it cant be helped.
"Round and round in circles"
Yesterday Uncle Tom seemed so fed up i got the impression that he just wanted to be left alone.
I am worried about the not eating at all now, but they say he is drinking and he is still on build up drinks.
I now fully understand a term which i have read on here over and over
"day by day" and today, (even though he wont remember me visiting yesterday) he could be completley different and chatting away
Danni x


Registered User
Jul 16, 2004
Dear Danielle,

So sorry to hear about your Uncle Tom, with regards to the EPA might be helpful if you have a look at the public guardianship website


I think i'm right in saying that once you have applied to register then they wait 35 days for people to lodge objections in writing , then 5 days after that they register. Has a doctor confirmed that Uncle Tom is no longer able to manage his affairs. With my mum we were given when we requested it , a certificate of capability stating mum was at that time suffering from moderately severe dementia & the doctor no longer considered her capable of managing her own affairs. This is not needed to register the EPA normally but in your case could be very helpful. Even if they just note he is not capable in his records it would help. The reason i'm mentioning this is that your Uncle Tom would then not be able to make out a new EPA so even if his son does manage to stop you having EPA registered he can't try & have a new EPA drawn up.
If you look at website Uncle Tom is the donor & you would be the attorney , this helps or like me, you might be confused by all the information regarding receivers.
Also as a safe guard if i was you i'd keep receipts for EVERYTHING you spend Uncle Toms money on just in case you have to prove where the money has gone. I know its not nice but better to be safe than sorry.

Hang on in there , your Uncle Tom is lucky to have you looking after him .

Take care



Registered User
Apr 9, 2005

Thanks Helen i have just spoken to the hospital re: certificate of capability and was told it has to be issued by a psycogeriatric who needs to come and asess Uncle Tom.
Even though the nurses are of the opinion that Uncle Tom is unable to manage is affairs they can not say so until he has been asessed...
Apparantly the last ward were trying to get assesment done and the ward he is on now have asked for referal but....
They can not asess until he is free of infection to get a true picture of his condition.
Its really frustrating as, when he is infection / antibiotic free they ask someone to come and asess by the time they have pulled their finger out and come onto the ward (waiting 2 weeks again) his infection has come back. :mad: :mad: :mad:

Do you know if this is correct or is there someone else i could ask to provide info? or, does it have to be the pshchogeriatric one mentioned above.

Many Thanks

Danni x


Registered User
Jun 29, 2004
Solicitor? PALS?

Hi Danni
Sorry things are so bad - it must be a nightmare. I'm wondering if it might be useful to contact the solicitor who arranged the EPA for you and Uncle Tom? He/she might be able to advise you? Also, does the hospital have a PALS service (Patient Advocacy Link Service or something like that...) - they were very helpful when my Mum was in hospital and we were unhappy with how she was being treated.


Registered User
Mar 16, 2005
Hi Danni,

We were also frustrated by the delays when my Dad was in hospital for 5 weeks for an assessment. He had gone in because of aggression and settled (on new drugs) within the first week.

Once the patient is settled and assessed, a meeting is arranged with the doctor, social services etc. and relatives are also allowed to sit in on it. (I don't know if this is the same at all hospitals and I can't remember the name of the meeting, sorry).

We assumed it had to be the doctor who determined when we would be able to have this meeting and went in to see him (as it happened he wasn't there when they said he would be!) but it turned out that the Head Nurse could arrange it and did so, there and then.

All I can advise is to keep asking, anyone and everyone, to the point of making a nuisance of yourself! I know that the hospitals are very busy but it's a stressful enough without not knowing when/if/what/how things are going to happen and sometimes it might just give them a little reminder to get on with it! I'm sure you are doing all this already but just wanted to add my support.