Uncle Tom .. what else can go wrong.

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by danielle, May 18, 2005.

  1. danielle

    danielle Registered User

    Apr 9, 2005

    Sorry i have not posted on here for a while but would like to thank you for your replies...

    Had probs with my computer.

    To Cut a very long story short...

    I was told last week that on top of all that uncle tom has suffered in the last few months he now has another chest infection and M.R.S.A

    I feel that he has fought and fought for months now and it is not getting any better,

    He has been moved to a side ward (only to add to his confusion) and is on what ,seems to me to be a rapid decline........

    He totally refuses to eat ANYTHING wont even have his sweets near him... (even little bits of bread etc) and he is drinking a lot less now than he was before.
    he had op.

    I have sat with him and tried every trick in the book but nothing seems to work.

    I was quite upset the other day when i went to visit as he didnt know me for many a while he just kept staring at me....Which i found hard to accept.

    I have tried to prepare myself for this but didnt expect it to be quite so soon...
    I wounder if it is the results of his op and things will get better soon when he has settled down a bit...?

    He was talking to the wall and seeing faces that were not there.

    He never really spoke to me much at all, he kept looking at me for ages...but there was nothing ...nothing in his eyes whatsoever...

    Just Empty....... It was horrible.....Heartbreaking......

    Dont know what i am supposed to do now, I only hope / wish that things will improve for him soon.

    Feel completley useless.

    Take care and once again thanks for being here....

    Danni x
  2. galliwotsit

    galliwotsit Registered User

    May 10, 2005
    Sending You A Hug - Hope It Helps

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  3. Katy44

    Katy44 Registered User

    Sep 14, 2004
    Wish I had a magic wand to wave but unfortunately I don't. Look after yourself as it sounds like all the stress is making you ill as well.
  4. daughter

    daughter Registered User

    Mar 16, 2005
    Hi Danielle,

    I'm really sorry to hear things are still so bad for you and your Uncle, him contracting MRSA on top of everything else and the useless feeling you describe is so numbing.

    You can only do what you are doing, play the dreaded waiting game and I echo your wish that things will improve for him (and you) soon.

    Take care,
  5. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    West Sussex
    Dear Danielle, feel so sad for you and your Uncle Tom, what has happened to him is so similar to my Mum's tale, although they never admitted the deep gangrenous wound on her foot that refused to heal was MRSA, I felt in my heart that it was. Just be there for him as often as you possibly can. Even if he no longer knows you, another human being, giving him one to one loving, caring, attention will reach into the abyss he is so sadly in I am sure. OK he can't tell you it helps, but hold his hand, stroke his head, read to him, anything, just be there for him. Thinking of you, love and hugs, She. XX
  6. Sandy

    Sandy Registered User

    Mar 23, 2005
    Dear Danni,

    I was so sorry to read about your uncle's condition.

    You have been so supportive and dealt with so much, this must be a very difficult stage - when the most you can do for him is to just be present and let him know that he is loved.

    There are all kinds of stress but one particularly cruel type of stress comes from the feeling of being powerless in the face of an overwhelming situation.

    But you do have the power to be with your uncle and give him the personal care and compassion that sometimes can seem lacking in a busy hospial setting. You also have the ability to try and ensure his medical care is as appropriate as possible, given his complex needs.

    Take care,


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