I am after some advice really as all this stuff has been rolling around in my head for months and I am really struggling with the fact that I haven't been able to talk to anyone about it all. To explain... I have always found it impossible to talk about this kind of personal stuff (unfortunately I can't explain why) and in fact it has taken me four attempts to write this - hopefully I manage to hit 'submit' at the end this time? The words I need to say are there but I just can't articulate them. Then I also find reasons for not talking to person x,y or z - some of which are valid and some of which probably aren't but I can't see through it - talking to strangers is impossible too.
Alot has happened this year -
My dad has developed FTD and Motor Neurone's Disease, deteriorating rapidly - he is almost uncommunicative and has just had his PEG feeding tube fitted.
My grandad has terminal prostate cancer and chronic renal failure.
My grandmother recently died from a heart attack.
I have been told my career in the Army will not be going any further (this happened the week after dad's diagnosis).
I split up with my partner of 5 years (apparently we had lost the spark) and although we are back together, I worry that he will walk out as the spark has not returned?
I know that I need to talk to someone about all this because my head feels like it is going to explode but I don't know how or who?
My family, as I see it, have enough to deal with. I don't want to talk to my partner about this as I don't want this to be some guilt trip that would make him feel he couldn't leave and also I don't want to put any more pressure on our relationship either. My bosses at work have known that my dad is ill (since the diagnosis in June) but haven't cared enough to ask how things are going or how I'm doing - they just keep telling me to stop being so miserable - thanks. I only really have one good friend but since she left the Army two years ago I haven't really made the effort to visit or phone (all contact has been from her) and I feel I haven't got the right to put all this on her?
What do you think? I feel like I've lost the plot.
Cath
Alot has happened this year -
My dad has developed FTD and Motor Neurone's Disease, deteriorating rapidly - he is almost uncommunicative and has just had his PEG feeding tube fitted.
My grandad has terminal prostate cancer and chronic renal failure.
My grandmother recently died from a heart attack.
I have been told my career in the Army will not be going any further (this happened the week after dad's diagnosis).
I split up with my partner of 5 years (apparently we had lost the spark) and although we are back together, I worry that he will walk out as the spark has not returned?
I know that I need to talk to someone about all this because my head feels like it is going to explode but I don't know how or who?
My family, as I see it, have enough to deal with. I don't want to talk to my partner about this as I don't want this to be some guilt trip that would make him feel he couldn't leave and also I don't want to put any more pressure on our relationship either. My bosses at work have known that my dad is ill (since the diagnosis in June) but haven't cared enough to ask how things are going or how I'm doing - they just keep telling me to stop being so miserable - thanks. I only really have one good friend but since she left the Army two years ago I haven't really made the effort to visit or phone (all contact has been from her) and I feel I haven't got the right to put all this on her?
What do you think? I feel like I've lost the plot.
Cath