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Unable to clean up after bowel movement - advice?

Tigermilk

New member
Mar 29, 2021
5
0
Hello

My dad is currently undiagnosed however has deteriorated rapidly over the last few months after a stroke and spell in hospital which caused delirium.

At the moment my mum is providing dads full time care. He’s not really able to do much for himself anymore and recently mum has discovered when he’s gone to the toilet for a bowel movement, he’s got himself into a mess with poo all over him, the toilet, walls and carpet. This doesn’t happen everytimr but is getting more frequently (weekly)

We’ve spoken to the incontinence service and they can’t help as dad knows when he needs to go to the toilet but obviously has trouble when he gets there.

We’ve asked dad what happens and he doesn’t know and sometimes doesn’t even remember.

My mum is at her wits end and is finding it very difficult to live with him and hesitant to have care coming into the house as it’s unpredictable when it’s going to happen.

Does anyone have any experience with this and have any tips to share to help?

many thanks
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,305
0
Scotland
He will not be able to help this I’m sorry to say. Early on I got the shower converted to a walk in set up and kept plastic bags, large wipes and towels all on hand. I hosed my husband down when accidents happened but I also accompanied him to the bathroom and was on hand when he finished. For me it was simpler to deal with it as it occurred than a bigger mess later. Much as I hated it all incontinence was not the worst part of dealing with Alzheimer’s. It is a practical issue rather than a more intangible mental issue.

I hope someone else can be more helpful.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
14,983
0
South coast
I agree with @marionq . He can no longer remember what he has to do after he has had a bowel movement. You may discover that he is doing something like pooing into his hands and then doesnt know what to do with it. The only way you are going to get round this is by going into the toilet with him, directing him and cleaning him up when he has finished.
 

Janey B

Registered User
Aug 15, 2019
67
0
Northwest
Sorry don’t think I can help but I have been having the same problem with my OH It’s not incontinence just the inability to clean himself properly after having his bowels open. I too have had mess everywhere and I understand what hard work that can be. I also try to catch him when he’s using the toilet and have wet wipes and plastic bags at the ready but that’s not always possible, and he’s not always cooperative. I now use disposable underpants I personally just could not cope with the daily soaking and washing of soiled underwear. Nothing you can do really once my OH gets in a mess he has no idea what to do 😔 Our daily conversation now involves are you having a poo every time he goes to the toilet ( who would have thought) Sending sympathy.
 

Tigermilk

New member
Mar 29, 2021
5
0
Unfortunately poor dad has so many other health conditions he can no longer go in the shower as both legs are wrapped in bandages due to an incurable skin rash, so hosing him in the shower isn’t currently an option.

it’s also challenging if it happens at night, last night mum woke at 4am to find poo all over the house. Mum doesn’t have an help or carers and I’m very worried for her own health

Has anyone found signs on the back of the door help? Or voice activated motion sensor which we could then record a message to remind him the process?

Dads deterioration at the moment is alarming and so sad
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
14,983
0
South coast
Im afraid that my experiences of leaving notes, putting up notices etc for both my mum and my OH is that they were all soundly ignored.
 

Rosettastone57

Registered User
Oct 27, 2016
1,498
0
I agree with @canary , notes left on doors won't work. My mother in law just didn't have the initiative to look at a note and wouldn't have followed instructions anyway. Your dad needs constant supervision, difficult in the home without help with constant prompting. My mother in law's similar situation was only resolved by going into care.
 

Tigermilk

New member
Mar 29, 2021
5
0
Any thoughts on why it doesnt happen every time? It’s so unpredictable.

Such a horrible disease
 

Linbrusco

Registered User
Mar 4, 2013
1,662
0
Auckland...... New Zealand
@Tigermilk

My Dad recently went into care, but we were having the exact same issue with him at home.
At times no problem at all, and other times poo at the back of his pants on his clothes, hands, lightswitch, door handles, and trod into the carpet.
Dad had several hospital admissions with one being for 2 weeks. Never had one toilet incident!
Since being in his care home, hes only had minor incidents and a major one when I took him out for coffee !
Dad denies eveything, even when I point out poo on his arm he said it was a bruise.
What makes matters worse is that Dad is a very very private person when it comes to toileting and showering, and will absolutely not wear any type of incontinence product. Care home staff are monitoring the situation.
 

Harbor

New member
Mar 27, 2021
5
0
Hi
Don't know I this will help or not but my father has bowel incontinence now due to alzheimer's and dementia but also two large growths in his bowel, so he wears a fecal incontinence pad which I have to change 4 times a day, as he doesn't always realise its happening and that's how he was getting so messed or couldn't make it to the toilet in time . These may help.
 

Paulinemca

New member
Jul 23, 2020
7
0
Hello

My dad is currently undiagnosed however has deteriorated rapidly over the last few months after a stroke and spell in hospital which caused delirium.

At the moment my mum is providing dads full time care. He’s not really able to do much for himself anymore and recently mum has discovered when he’s gone to the toilet for a bowel movement, he’s got himself into a mess with poo all over him, the toilet, walls and carpet. This doesn’t happen everytimr but is getting more frequently (weekly)

We’ve spoken to the incontinence service and they can’t help as dad knows when he needs to go to the toilet but obviously has trouble when he gets there.

We’ve asked dad what happens and he doesn’t know and sometimes doesn’t even remember.

My mum is at her wits end and is finding it very difficult to live with him and hesitant to have care coming into the house as it’s unpredictable when it’s going to happen.

Does anyone have any experience with this and have any tips to share to help?

many thanks
Hi Tigermilk. I don't know if this would apply in your dad's case but my mum was having similar issues last year, plus a few others. In her case, she seemed to be having a lot of diarrhoea and it would be everywhere. She would fill her shoes and it would be all over the toilet and her clothes. I think she just didn't know what to do with so much poop. However, the diarrhoea stopped when she was taken off donepezil. But, like others have suggested, it's probably getting to the point where someone has to accompany your dad to the toilet and keep him right on what to do, if he is willing. This has certainly become the case with mum.
 

Roseleigh

Registered User
Dec 26, 2016
346
0
My HB lost the ability to wipe properly. At first the solution was to go in when he was done and give him adequate pieces of folded paper, making sure it was dropped into the toilet after use. As he got worse this no longer worked, and I had to wipe him like a child. When admitted to hospital they put him straight into pull ups.

My mum who is not that severe yet is beginning to have trouble wiping. I think much of the daily variation depends on the stools, not too soft and theres no mess. Diarrhoea needs a high quality clean up.
 

DreamsAreReal

Registered User
Oct 17, 2015
79
0
I’m not being frivolous, but to those who accompany their pwd to the toilet: how do you cope with the smell without gagging? Do you just get used to it? The smell of excrement makes me nauseous and I have a real dread of having to do this.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
3,617
0
Southampton
I’m not being frivolous, but to those who accompany their pwd to the toilet: how do you cope with the smell without gagging? Do you just get used to it? The smell of excrement makes me nauseous and I have a real dread of having to do this.
i think you nose breathe therefore dont take up the smell, air fresheners but there nothing to quite beat the smell.just acknowledge it stinks.
 

Rosettastone57

Registered User
Oct 27, 2016
1,498
0
I’m not being frivolous, but to those who accompany their pwd to the toilet: how do you cope with the smell without gagging? Do you just get used to it? The smell of excrement makes me nauseous and I have a real dread of having to do this.
Apply a layer of Vick's vapour rub to the outside of the nostrils. Or wear a face mask sprinkled with perfume
 

spandit

Registered User
Feb 11, 2020
198
0
Anyone tried a product like VIPoo would that help with the smell?

That would only work on the poo that actually falls into the toilet... when it's smeared down the back, across the seat, the rails, the flush, the basin, the doorframe, the walls, the carpet, the bed, their clothes, their skin etc. it would be of limited use.

Sometimes it's an advantage having bad sinuses.

That said, my sister, who has the advantage of living in Australia, said she couldn't ever cope with poo. My view is that if I don't do it, who else is going to?
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
14,983
0
South coast
Apply a layer of Vick's vapour rub to the outside of the nostrils. Or wear a face mask sprinkled with perfume
This is a classic solution. Ive used the petroleum jelly/vic up the nose on a few occasions when OH has a bowel accident and walked it all over the house..........
(at this point may I mention that the sprays that are used to clean and deodorise after pet accidents work very well......). I do like the idea of a face mask with perfume on it. Latex gloves are a must too.

Recently OH had a bowel accident while I was in the kitchen waiting for the carer and OH had obviously sat in it for a while. I confess that I chickened out and got the carer to do it 😏