u cant trust any1

[toe-knee]

ive been lookin after my mum in law 4 6 years without any real catastrophies, just mood swings etc, her body was great even goin 2 loo herself,just her mind,but after much naggin from the doc 6 weeks ago i got a carer fromMODERATOR NOTE: Name of Care Company removed 2 come look after mum 4 1 week as she refused 2 go into respite,1st mistake was i never got 2 meet carer 1st,turns out she was a battleaxe who could hardly speak any english n seein mums bad gettin out her words they came 2 blows she said mum was aggressive but mum was the 1 with bruises n shes now being investigated,but im jumpin ahead, on the last day apparently mum 'fell' downstairs n broke her left ankle,sothe next evenin i visited her in hospital,i asked why she wasnt on dementia ward as she suffers from extreme ants in her pants n cant sit still 4 5 mins,they said dont worry shell b goin no where in the cast! so fool i am i trust them after all its a hospital right! well that next morn she got up fell down n broke her right hip,had to have op 2 put in metal ball!then they decided she needed an alarm mat,did they just ignore me,or think im stupid!anyway after 3 weeksof her goin downhill mentally in there,she had to go to carehome 4 rehabilitation, spent 3 weeks there kept fallin so they put her on a better ward where they could look after her betta where she fell the very next day n broke her left wrist which needs to be set with pins in,we r waitin 4 op,so i took her fron care home as she was also in a state cryin alot n sayin they were nasty 2 her, so altough i only live 2 doors away with my family im now havin 2 stay with mum 24 hrs,shes cryin all the time even thou shes home now,shes now incontinent as they just left her in pants all the time,she cant converse at all now either,so i ask u,was it worth going away 4 four bloody days in norfolk?

 

[starryuk]

Oh my goodness, this is absolutely terrible. What a catalogue of disasters. Your poor, poor mum in law. And poor you.

I am sure you needed to get away and certainly not your fault the carer was 'useless'. Even if you had met her first, she would have probably been charming to you. The agency was at fault in my opinion.

Still, that is little consolation to you now, I am so sorry and hope you mum stabilises soon. She must be so distressed with all this...and you.

By the way, my mum was incontinent after she came out of hospital, but has improved a lot and now takes herself off to the loo.

 

[Jessbow]

Have you met the carer , the one that is said to have been a battleaxe?
Who filled in the accident form when your mum fell down the stairs - if in the care of the agency they should have- ask to see it.

Was the hospital negligent in that she broke her hip?Do you think ( honestly) that if she'd been on the dementia ward she'd not have done so? Ask what they nursing ratio is on both wards at the time of the fall.

For someone that is virtually unable to talk, she seems to be abl to say quite a lot! it wouldn't be unusual for someone with dementia to blame someone- my mum does it all the time ( she still talks, mostly scribble but she talks) .

Leaving someone in pants all the time doesn't cause incontinence. What causes it is either an infection ( =increased urge to go and not enough time) or loss of the cognitive function that tells you that you need to go use the loo.

I feel terribly sorry for your catalogue of disasters, you Poor mum, but please try and pull it apart and get some rationality into some of it. With the best will in the world, there are accidents